The Peak Condition Project - Sarah

Final Post: PCP, You "Complete" Me.

2010-10-05T14:06:00.000-07:00

Well, it is high time to wrap this thing UP!

In the past week, I became both a PCP alumna and a 500 hour RYT (registered yoga teacher). Aside from this being an incredibly busy week, I'm quite happy to have these two experiences dovetail into one another here at the end. More on that later.

Let's get down to the nitty gritty with some before/after pics, shallllll we?

Day 1, 117 lbs, 24.3 % body fat

Day 90, 109.6 lbs, 17% body fat

The weight number doesn't mean much, but a 7.3% drop in body fat? THANK YOU, JUMP ROPE AND VEGETABLES! Those pictures kinda suck, though, don't they? Here's another before/after that, to me, tells a more complete story:

May 13, 2010

September 29, 2010

Top photo is from a slackline/acroyoga workshop I took last May. In that picture, I see a woman whose enthusiasm for trying something new is tempered by a deep self-consciousness. I remember feeling totally obsessed with my age, that day. Driving there, I was nervous, assuming that everyone else there would be fit college-aged rock climbing types (they were), what would they think of this "mom" showing up to learn to slackline? I also see that, under the softness of my belly, there is a weakness there, in my core. There's a sway in my lower back - see it? Even though I look happy and excited in that photo, the line of my body is shows me someone who wants to feel confident and centered but who, on that day at least, didn't yet feel it in her bones.

In the bottom photo, I see myself as lean, fit, lithe and strong. I see myself having tested my mettle again and again, becoming stronger in body, mind and spirit each time. Also, I have put myself back into alignment - see how my shoulders are right over my hips? Shazam!! There's that strong core. And in my core, I do feel a new level of confidence - you can see it in my posture, the strong energetic line of my body. I am calm, focused, and ready for anything. In a word, I am transformed. :)

How did this transformation take place? Well, it ain't rocket science! Here are the insights/lessons learned that have changed me along the way:

The Simplest Food is the Best Food
Like everything else about the PCP, my biggest obstacle to feeding myself adequately was all in my head. How to shop, what to buy, how to prepare it, when to eat - my little pea-sized brain just couldn't figure it out. The PCP diet has answered these questions in the simplest way possible. Eat vegetables, protein, fruit, eggs, grains and some dairy. No fancy recipes, no parameters besides the grams. Simple! And yet, incredibly broad, encompassing so very many fabulous, fresh, whole foods. Foods that are filled with flavor, nutrients, fiber, water, energy. Can't get all THAT from a box of cereal!

This philosophy of food is (I'll say it again) so simple, but it would have remained just that - a philosophy - if I hadn't felt and experienced the difference in my body. Hey, I feel all bright and sparkly! I have loads of energy! I'm getting stuff accomplished! I'm not so tired all the time! The only downside? Green stuff between my teeth after every meal. Just means I have to engage in another PCP-endorsed activity: floss more. :)

I can't overemphasize the HUGE IMPACT this diet has made on my daily cooking and time management habits. I blogged about it previously, but suffice it to say that, over the past 3 months, the kitchen has become my number one happy place, with the farmer's market and Fairway a very close second and third. BIG WIN in this area.

Jumprope is a Way of Life
Don't get me wrong - I've had my ups and downs with the rope. I spent at least 2/3 of my 90 days hating it to one degree or another. Near the end, though, the rope and I became one. I finally stopped struggling and let the jumping be whatever it was that day - fluid and efficient, or a bumbling mess. Didn't matter, didn't care. Mind = calm. After a few days recently of not jumping first thing, I started daydreaming about it. I find that it's something I need to do when I wake up - and so, I have been, every day. Mama needs her morning endorphin rush. ;)

And here, at long last, is my jumprope trick. Be warned, kids - it's VERY ADVANCED. Cross-over and double jump? Child's play compared to this. Do not try this at home without proper adult supervision:

I am a Person Who Works Out
This still feels awkward to say out loud, but I'm saying it anyway so that I continue to manifest it in real life: I am a Person Who Works Out. I did these damn workouts every damn day for 90 days - there was never any question in my mind about whether or not I was going to do it that day. I was committed - and also psyched about the changes I was seeing/feeling.

Now, my challenge is to keep the ball rolling. All the excuses and procrastination techniques have shown up again now that the PCP-proper is over. The hardest part is getting started, each and every time. Once I'm in the workout, I'm IN it - and I love how amazing I feel when I'm done. Again, it's all a mind-game. Which is also good news, since that means it's all in my head. ;)

The Places Where Yoga and PCP Intersect
In yoga, we talk a lot about opening up the pathways in the body so that energy, or prana, can move more freely. Over the weekend, a yogini friend of mine said something interesting: When the body is strong, prana moves more easily, with less impediments. This has definitely been my experience. Certainly, with the practices - whether it's asana, pranayama, yin yoga - I do feel a heightened sense of energetic movement through this very fit body. It's super cool! But I can also feel in my body that the strength training exercises themselves release prana in their own way. We're not working with ancient postures or meridians, but we are working deep in the muscle tissue, with focus and (hopefully) awareness. It's all prana anyway - my PCP workouts have certainly released their share of it in the form of emotional upheaval!

The other thing that I appreciate about these workouts is that they have shown me, yet again, that my body is capable of far more than my mind thinks it is. Working to failure necessitates going beyond the habits of the mind and staying with what's really happening: breath, sensation, etc. This is where I get to "play the edge", out here in muscle-failure-land.

Exercise Begets Exercise
Raising my daily activity level with these workouts has already paid huge dividends in my day-to-day life, especially with the kids. I'm much more apt than ever before to suggest a quick bike ride or a half-hour on the slackline when the kids and I find ourselves looking for something to do. Absurdly, these are the type of activities I used to say no to when the kids suggested them, pre-PCP, when I felt too tired to deal. Now I'm the one raring to go!

Getting Fit Brings Out My Inner Daredevil
During the PCP, I rock climbed and flew on the flying trapeze, both for the first time. I played on my very own slackline. I bought my very first new bike (which I totally forgot to blog about, so here you go - it's AWESOME!). I jumped off a public dock in my skivvies. I even wore a bikini in public for the first time in 8 or 9 years! These are all things that I wanted to do when the PCP started (well, except for the spontaneous dock jumping) - and I did them ALL, dammit. Next up? I wanna learn to SURF. Talk about manifesting one's own destiny!!

Last But Not Least: There Is No "I" In TEAM BADASS!!
Whenever I needed inspiration along the way, I thought of Haley and her badass firefighting classes; Grace and her hardcore volleyball tournaments; Louise and all her travel/apt selling/wedding planning; Ilan and his crazy intense job/endless client dinners/international lifestyle; Will and his intense work with Alzheimer's patients. Seriously - you're all AMAZING and I'm in awe of each of you. I'm also grateful and proud of us as a team for passing the baton of support, encouragement and ass-kicking to whomever needed it in the moment. Let's keep that going, eh? Via FB or email until there is an official PCP forum??

To Patrick and Chen - Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for creating an experience of personal fitness that goes way beyond the physical. Patrick, your wisdom is deep, man! Thanks for being so very present through this process, through all your emails and comments and chats. It's been an honor and a privilege, sir!

To past PCP'ers, particularly Team SEXAAAY - Thanks for leading and lighting up the way ahead. I often thought of you guys, especially during the final weeks, remembering little gems from your blogs. Great role models, all of you!

To the present teams - F*@#ing rock it!! I know you will. And if I need a little kick-in-the-arse to get my post-PCP workouts going, I'm gonna turn to YOUR BLOGS, 'cause that's where the rubber is hitting the ROAD!

Finally, to Dan - Thanks for being my IRL support system and PCP-enabler, even when it got hard. ESPECIALLY when it got hard. I love you, and I hope that this experience helps set in motion a healthier way of life for our family.

I think I'll close this (extremely long) post with a coupla muscles shots. What, did you think I wouldn't?? :)

Have you ever heard Patrick say something like, the exercise you hate the most is the one that will set you free? He's right, y'all. Remember all the whining I did about how much I hate pull-ups? I give you, Exibit A:

If I can do this, I'm pretty sure I can do anything.

XOXOXO

Not Yet Complete...

2010-10-03T05:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry, all! Am knee-deep in my final 3 day yoga teacher training intensive. We "graduate" today! All my time and energy has been put into that since PCP ended...but I'm thinking of you all and hope to get my final post up tonight or tomorrow. xoxo

Day 90: HOT DAMNNNN!!!!

2010-09-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

Today is all kinds of awesome. Had my photo shoot this morning with the lovely Sara S. Did another goddamn pull-up (that first one was not a fluke - haHA!). Did the final workout...not sure how much we're supposed to reveal about it, but...suffice it to say that it felt damn good to see just how far I've come. On the flip-side, it was still a workout, I still worked up a sweat and felt a little burn...just in a fraction of the time that I'm now used to working out. Ok, ok - I just have to toot my own horn for a moment. 700 jumps? Used to take me forever. Today? 4.5 minutes. HOT DAMN!

I still ate a nice big PCPish breakfast after working out - it was lovely to think, what do I really want to put in this bowl? instead of, damn I don't have enough grams of protein! And, NO SCALE!!

Took the laptop over to my fave coffee place to get some other work done. Decided to get a treat to go with my double cappucino. Couldn't handle the thought of an entire muffin, so I chose a cranberry hazelnut biscotti - deLISH! Also, very very sweet. Wow. Needed that cap to wash the sweet out of my mouth.

Still, it's a normal day over here - I've got tons of stuff on my to-do list, a mountain of dishes to wash, playdates to facilitate, food to cook. What's great is having the energy to tackle all of it, piece by piece.

More thoughts to come in the form of a final post. Will take a day or two to put it all together.

HAPPY DAY 90, TEAM BADASS!!! You guys are the fucking best!! I dare say we've each rocked this program in our own spectacular way. I bow before each and every one of you!!

XOXO

Day Almost 90: A Big Surprise

2010-09-27T18:41:00.000-07:00

DUDES - I have something incredible to report. But first, I have to say, all that whining and complaining I was doing in the past week or two, struggling with VANITY and imperfection and feeling weak in certain areas....I take it all back. Well, I can't really, 'cause it's out there. But I hereby announce to you all that I'm DONE with the complaining, I'm DONE with the judgment and perfectionism. I'm not sure I can explain why - maybe it's just the timing of everything. Coming thisclose to the end, knowing it's not really the end at all, feeling just how much stronger I am now than when this all began...all week I've felt supremely OK with myself. I can take it all in now - the hard work, the sweat, the physical changes (including the parts that still "need work"), the emotional and mental shifts. It's all OK - matter of fact, it's all GOOD.

So what happened this afternoon didn't create this feeling - it just confirmed it. Ummm...I did a pull-up.

It just happened! I was over at Sara's house, checking out her pull-up bar. She said, show me your stuff, Rubin. I was all, yeah, yeah, my pull-ups are WEAK. And then? I pulled my chin all the way up to the bar. Maybe not over it, but up to it. WHAT??? Shocking!! No one was more surprised than moi.

So, yes - all you wise ones out there with your "the limits we set on ourselves can be re-set" (Ramiro) and other related revelations about the body's potential being far beyond what the mind says it can do...I'm living proof. And a true believer.

Day 89, Dammit!!

2010-09-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

NOOOOOOO!!!! Our blogs have been moved down to the "complete" section on the homepage. NOT. SO. FAST. PATRICK! I have so much more to say - don't pull the plug yet! LOL!

I'm really hurting this morning, thanks to late-night supersets. In fact, today is the first day that I did NOT jump rope first thing this morning, before getting the kids ready for school. Still recovering from being up so late on Sat night, needing the extra sleep. ALSO - it's raining.

FWIW, I can definitely tell a difference in my morning from NOT jumping rope. Pretty much without fail, getting all that blood circulating and muscles warm, not to mention the feeling of accomplishment...makes for a happy, energetic morning with the family. Today did not get off to a great start, reminding me of how pretty much every morning used to be prior to PCP.

Exercise begets more exercise...and energy...and motivation! I have more to say on that topic, but I've got to get my jumping done now...in the rain. :(

Edited to add:

Back now, barely. Did it all - the jumps, the sets, the whole 9. Now I am a puddle of tears and sweat, a total mess. Had to come back here and share this - in order for me to get through planks, I need my headphones and a good song on repeat. Today, it was Steely Dan:

I never seen you lookin' so bad, my funky one
You tell me that your super fine mind has come undone
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you

Patrick - at the bitter end of this fucking thing, this song is like hearing your voice in my head. And it's true - so MANY major dudes have told me, every day, through this damn blog. The presence, support and camaraderie of ALL of you major dudes has been the absolute BEST part of this - THAT is the part I'm so sad to be saying goodbye to. I can't even think about Team Badass without crying.

Day Whaaaa???

2010-09-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

I think I just lived through the longest weekend ever. I don't know how, but we packed so much into this weekend - some of it planned, some not. Some of it totally wacky! Like the parade on Saturday. 100 firetrucks, 500 firefighters and 30 marching bands. All of whom descended upon our neighborhood (staging area for the parade) and proceeded to tailgate for 2 hours before the parade started. I was doing my workout on the back deck Sat afternoon to the sounds of 6 bagpipers warming up. For the record, 6 bagpipers easily sounds like an entire legion of bagpipers. Truly. Awesome.
I could have hung out on the street for hours totally digging this once-in-a-lifetime experience. I mean, how often does a parade start right in front of your house?? But - Dan and I were also rushing around to get ready to leave for the Catskills and the Ramble. Remember how the B&B Lady cancelled our reservation at the last minute? Well, we made some calls and ended up staying here:
A totally tricked out Airstream trailer, part of Kate's Lazy Meadow Motel near Woodstock, NY. Owned by Kate Pierson of the B-52's. How wacky is THAT???

So, the Ramble. UnbeLIEVable. Levon Helm (of The Band) lives in Woodstock and built an incredible barn/recording studio/performance space where he gives shows once a month for an intimate crowd of 150 or so. His band is TOPS, and Levon - in his 70's now? - rocks the hell out. Plus, each show features a guest artist or three. The reason we got tickets for this particular show: Anders Osborne. I'm a huge fan of this man and his music - he makes my heart go pitter-patter. :) Highlight of the night - besides his scorching set - was finally getting to meet him and shake his hand. Sigh! Wish I had a picture - no cameras allowed at the barn.

Many other weekend events besides these, too numerous to mention, really. One quick PCP-related thing: didn't have time to do today's SUPERset workout until tonight. Finished around 9:30pm...completely wrecked, etc., but also elated that I made it through. Tomorrow, I was planning to be home in the morning to do the last HUGE workout without interruption. Don't know if I'll be up for it, though, with only 12 hours in between. Otherwise, I'll be doing it at night again (not my favorite). Guess I'll see how the bod feels in the AM. On that note...

G'night, all!

Day 86: SUPERsets

2010-09-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

WOW. Supersets - where have you been all my life???

Not to give too much away to the newbies, but it's like a whole new level of workout. The bicep/tricep set in particular was like, BAM! Pain in front of arm, pain in back of arm - FEELS GOOD!! Even the pull-ups didn't get me down today. Patrick, you saved the best Jedi mind trick for last with these supersets. Sneaky you are!

The ab set just about killed me, though. After the last plank, I flopped/rolled onto my back and literally couldn't move for more than a few minute - first time that's happened to me in 86 days! I was COOKED. DUNZO. And yet, somehow, thrilled!

This euphoria lasted me a good long while - until dinnertime-ish, when the plumber showed up. We have a laundry list of small plumbing issues left unattended for too long - so finally, I got the plumber over to have a look. The net-net is that we have two ancient leaky pipes running from our kitchen sink to the crawl-space under the house that need replacing - bummer. And the bigger bummer for my new daily-cooking lifestyle is that there is indeed a leak under our dishwasher that is soaking, buckling, and perhaps rotting the floor underneath the linoleum tile. SO - we are out a dishwasher until we get it replaced and we need to figure out how much damage control the floor really needs. Whole kitchen needs re-doing but we don't have the moola. Do we try to rip up the rotting floor in just that area? Or ignore the floor and just replace the dishwasher? Bah - ignoring is how this issue became a problem in the first place.

And in the meantime, NO DISHWASHER = double the meal-prep and clean-up time. Sob!

Plus - Dan and I were set to go to the Catskills tomorrow for a night without the kids. B&B Lady called me in the midst of Leak Discovery to say that she's sorry to have to cancel our reservation (something about plumbing issues left behind by previous guests - kinda ironic). So now we're scrambling to find another room somewhere - we're definitely still going, as we have tickets for Levon Helm's Midnight Ramble.

However, even with all these unwanted curveballs piling up around me, I'm sitting here thinking about supersets and how BADASS I was this morning! I kinda can't believe it. :)

Day 85: I Came, I Saw, I Left: Gym Visit

2010-09-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

A fancy new New York Sports Club opened up in our area 2 or 3 years ago. As it was being built, it was a BIG topic of conversation - most of my friends were planning to join, everyone wanted to get "in" before they opened, i.e. the pre-opening special rates. We all called to put our names on the "list" before they even opened the doors because they were only offering the deal to a certain number of people....it was crazy.

At the time, I got all swept up in the hysteria (even though I've never really been a gym person) and joined the gym along with Dan. I went exactly once. I got on an elliptical machine and had such a visceral reaction - all the NOISE, and TV SCREENS, so many BUTTONS to push, so many PEOPLE! - that I almost started to cry right there. It was an overwhelming environment - so I decided to stick to the yoga studio, where it's quiet and peaceful. Luckily, I was able to talk the gym into giving me a refund.

Fast forward to today - I figured I'd go back and check it out. Even though there are some smaller and cheaper gyms in the area, this is overwhelmingly where everyone I know goes (including Dan, who goes regularly in the early mornings before work). I have to admit, I was a little nervous to go back. I felt compelled to wear leggings and a tank top that shows off my shoulders and arms - like I'd just come from a yoga class. I even put on a little make-up! To me, I guess, gyms = workout competition, like everyone there is checking everyone else out while working out. I wanted to present a strong version of myself.

Walked in, requested a tour. Friendly guy at the front desk had me fill out a little form that included questions like, do you currently exercise? What do you do for exercise? What are your fitness goals? I answered, yes, yoga and home workout, to continue exercising through the winter (this was my "line" for why I was interested in joining - being able to swim for cardio through the winter). As soon as I had filled out the card, a tall blond woman strode over to me and introduced herself. She had the direct eye contact and the too-close-for-comfort, in-my-personal-space stance of a true saleswoman. Immediately, I forgot her name. She asked me if I'd ever been here before. I said, yes, I had toured the gym when it was first opening up. Right away, she put her hand on her hip and squinted at me: "So, why didn't you join then??" Wow, way to put me on the spot, Sales Lady! I mumbled something about not being able to afford it at the time because I was spending money on yoga classes outside of the gym. She then asked if I still wanted to have a tour since I'd been here before. Now I'm thinking Sales Lady's sales skills could use some work! YES I want a tour, that's why I'm HERE, bi-atch!

So she QUICKLY walked me around for about 5 minutes. The whole time I was half-paying attention to her, smiling and chatting her up so that she would soften up a bit, and half-trying to see what all the people there were doing. That's what I was truly interested in - observing the gym rats in their natural habitat. Sadly, Sales Lady didn't give me much of a chance to watch what was going on. In terms of equipment, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of different weight machines. There was a whole area for free weights/lifting, which, ok, every gym has that. Then there were 2 different systems of circuit(?) training machines that are supposed to isolate different muscle groups. One that you're supposed to do on your own, and a second, different system where a trainer is available to help you (during certain hours) go through the whole circuit in 20 minutes. Then there was a whole separate area with more weight machines - but my head was spinning by that point, so I can't remember what were the point of THOSE.

Sales Lady did show me two different areas designated for stretching, so I got to ask if they had "smaller equipment like medicine balls or resistance bands" (I didn't ask about jump ropes, though I should have, just to see her reaction). She said, yes of course they have those things, and then made sure to walk me all the way back across the room to show me. I saw, I believed.

Then it was on to the sit-down sales-pitch. Sales Lady went through all the membership options and prices (snore). It was at this point, as we were sitting across the desk from each other, that I decided to remove my thin sweater and flash my incredibly toned shoulders and arms at Sales Lady. She didn't fall off her chair or anything, but she did ask me why I was interested in joining the gym now (as opposed to being a lemming when the club first opened, I guess?). I said something about just finishing a 90 day program that I've done mostly at home and wanting to keep the momentum going....and, I swear I'm not making this up, that was when her eyes wavered from their tractor-beam direct-eye-contact stare...and she totally checked out my biceps!!!

SCORE.

Of course Sales Lady had to follow up with, are you ready to join today? I said I'd think about it and come back. At this point, I'm expecting the hard sell - bring it, Sales Lady! You're no match for these homemade guns! But...she let me down once again. I was shaking her hand and outta there before I knew it. From start to finish, I think my visit to New York Sports took all of 12 minutes.

What I shoulda done, I realized later, was forego the whole tour/sales pitch thing in favor of Dan getting me a guest pass so that I could have hung out and observed the gym rat scene at my leisure. The one person who stood out among the sea of treadmill runners and free weight lifters was an old lady who was working with a super tiny but drill sargent-y personal trainer. Old Lady was killing it! She was all up and down the hallway doing these squat - turn 180 - squat thingys. Later on I saw her on the floor doing plank - lift right arm - plank - lift left arm. Awesome.

Needless to say, I ain't going back. I seriously could NOT imagine doing a PCP workout there...or at any gym, for that matter. Not with the facial contortions, the heavy audible breathing, or the grunting/swearing/shrieking that goes on here at home. Most importantly, though, knowing that I can do a great workout at home or wherever I happen to be...is very freeing. Not that I was ever a slave to the gym industry, but now I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will never need to spend that money, or my time, at a gym. YAY!

Day 84: Oy, I'm Plotzing!!

2010-09-22T18:01:00.000-07:00

FIRST of all, I can't beLIEVE we're at T-6 days. WTF?!?!?!? Or (for Stu), what the FUCK???

Yep, it's one big mishmash of emotions over here. Anxiety about being kicked to the curb to fend for myself in less than a week. Anxiety about making it thru the final week's workouts. Premature nostalgia for the whole PCP experience. Love for my teammates. Depression re: the fact that we won't have these damn blogs to keep us going. Excitement about the final week's workouts. Fear that I will fall off the wagon after day 90 - especially with the exercise. I don't see the diet as being so hard to keep up....but I fear that those will become my famous last words. :)

OY.

Anyway, TEAM BADASS, I'm thinking of you all right now. Wishing you well, wishing you strength and focus and dedication for the final week. Also wishing you ease and good humor as we get ready to KICK SOME ASS!

Promised myself a good night's sleep tonight. 'Night, all!

Day 83: Who Doesn't Love VIDEOS??

2010-09-21T17:36:00.000-07:00

Now that I've figured out how to embed videos, NO ONE can stop me!!

From my house to yours, here's a little sumthin' to inspire your next workout:

This little ditty has become one of my favorites on my workout playlist - though, I have to admit, I totally poached it from Tara's list. It's an old standard made down and dirty. Here's a live version:

There are tons of jump rope trick videos on youtube - my favorites are the super amateur ones, no soundtracks, no fancy camera work. Check out this guy just doing his thing on the street. Getting winded, tripping, saying hi to the random lady strolling by...it's pure gold.

And I love this chick jumping barefoot in the hotel parking lot - she's got some badass tricks up her sleeve:

So I gotta say - after 83 days of jumping rope, I finally figured out how to do something other than jump with both feet over...and over...and over. Stay tuned - if one of my family members can capture my new trick on video, you guys will be the first to see it!

Day 82: Indulgence #3 and...

2010-09-20T17:34:00.001-07:00

Here's a quick run-down of my final indulgence from last night. Since my last indulgence was a lovely date night out with my husband, I figured this would be a good chance to include the kids. So we all went out to Sweetgrass Grill in Tarrytown, a new-ish restaurant featuring seasonal and locally-sourced foods.
Our shared appetizer was an OUTRAGEOUS marinated heirloom tomato salad with cucumbers and charred mozzarella. You can see where my fork went first :)
And here we have a whole egg pappardelle (pasta) with garlic lamb sausage, roasted corn, braised bacon, corn puree, and fresh basil. YUM. Didn't finish all of it, but came pretty damn close. Dan ordered a braised eggplant and shrimp dish that was equally yummy. The kids were psyched that they could order their standard grilled cheese and french fries. Here we are with full bellies:
After dinner, we ambled down the street to the local ice cream shop where we promised to take the kids for dessert. I figured maybe Dan and I would share something, but he wanted his own, so I was FORCED to order my very own ice cream cone. I found the chocolate-y-est flavor on the menu - I think it was called "black soot". Dark chocolate ice cream with a fudge swirl and chocolate crunchies mixed in. It was GOOD, y'all. Very, very good. More than made up for my disappointing first indulgence experience.

Food was great, company was exceptional, and I loved being able to enjoy a special meal out with my family. Looking back, the food I ate for dinner could almost have passed for PCP-compliant, even though I wasn't thinking about that at the time. I just ordered what looked good. The ice cream, though, definitely made this a far-from-PCP-diet indulgent experience, so I'm really glad I had it.

Now I'm all fired up for the final push!! Let's RIP IT UP, TEAM BADASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS - And it'll be a lengthy PS...I have to show you guys what I did this afternoon:
Inspired by the YogaSlackers and a workshop I took with one of them last spring, I finally set up a slackline in our backyard!
HA - tonight's email from Patrick said to find a new ab exercise and blog about it. So, BAM! Here's mine:
Balancing on one hand & one knee is a pretty standard-issue core strengthener. Try doing it on a one-inch thick piece of tubular webbing that is swaying between two trees! Actually, doing anything on a slackline requires TONS of core strength. Here's how the pros do it - seriously, watch this short video:

And here's me - video, and commentary, courtesy of Stella. Keep watching for the big finale!

The kids had just as much fun as I did trying to stand up on the line:

So, obviously, I'm psyched with our new outdoor activity! I plan on making this a part of my daily practice. Balance and core strength FTW!!

Day 81: How It Is Right Now

2010-09-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

OK - I'm going to let off a little steam right now by freaking out about the fact that Team BADASS is finishing this thing in NINE days (how is that POSSIBLE?!??) and I still feel like I have a bunch more work to do to reach my personal peak condition. I know, I KNOW! It's not like we're going to turn into a wax museum version of ourselves on Day 90, forever stuck at whatever point we're at on that day. I KNOW it's not about the 90 days! Believe me, I plan on keeping this thing going, in some form or other, for years to come. However - there have been moments during this past week where VANITY has reared it's ugly head and pointed out all the places on my body that still need work.

Here's what VANITY has been talking about: a)Back and shoulders = WEAK. Pull-ups still totally suck and I hate them for making me feel so...weak. b)Hips and butt = still rockin' some layers of fat. Might be some muscles under there somewhere, but they have yet to make themselves known. c)My old "friend" Melvin - ha! Still hanging around - yes, literally hanging from my body like an old balloon that's lost it's air. Can't imagine him ever leaving for good.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, deep breaths. Had to get all that off my chest. Yes, these nagging thoughts (thanks, VANITY!) have been bugging me - HOWEVER. They happen sporadically, popping up from time to time in the midst of what is becoming my "new normal", to quote Haley. The new normal keeps evolving, but so far, it's characterized by increased energy, steadiness of mind and heart, equanimity, and commitment to health. The daily diet and exercise is, yes, still "required", but it has also become a given. I know, upon waking, that I will get up and jump rope. I know that I will fit in the rest of the workout at some point throughout the day - it's a given. I know that I will make sure I eat what I need to eat in order to sustain myself. Right now, that means hitting the grams. In the future, it will be a little trickier, but I know my experience of food has already shifted so much that I can't see myself going back to where I once was. I can feel the benefits of all my hard work manifesting throughout my days - and mostly, I can take the long view when it comes to my physical body. Especially after a day like yesterday, when everything comes into focus. All my rants, all my worries, all my obsessions...they are so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Life is short! Why create unnecessary pain??

...Aaaaaaaannnndddd the next morning I have to face the dreaded pull-ups all over again. I curse, I rant, I feel completely defeated, I cry. I might even slam a door. And then I do the rest of the workout. When I finish, I eat. Somewhere in there, I am reminded that getting my undies in a bundle is part of the human condition. This reminds me to breathe. I turn on some music in the kitchen and suddenly my kids are laughing at me while I "shake my butt". Which reminds me that my butt is good for shaking. More laughter and dancing ensues.

That's just how it is right now.

Day 80: Yom Kippur Musings

2010-09-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

A very interesting day, this Yom Kippur. Gave me a lot to think about this year.

First off, fasting. Not eating food connected me to those who don't have food to eat. We are SO LUCKY to be able to eat beautiful, bountiful food. So many others are not so lucky.

Second, feeling the effects of not eating or drinking for 24 hours (feeling tired, light-headed, cranky) reminded me of how I used to feel a LOT of the time, just because I wasn't feeding myself well. I can see the difference BIG TIME in my interactions with the kids. Before the PCP, I was often cranky with them, had no energy and therefore little creativity in spending unstructured time with them. Now, thanks to all the changes in diet and exercise, I have so much more energy and not so many huge shifts in mood. We're all enjoying our unstructured time together - impromptu bike rides, walking the dog, playing made-up games - and I'm actively building more down-time into our days. Interesting how the fast brought up that awareness of how I used to feel, day in and day out.

Third, even though I wasn't eating well during the day, I did the next best thing in order to take care of myself: a big fat NAP. It was both luxurious and necessary.

Fourth, fasting is not easy. It's meant to be difficult. In the context of Yom Kippur, it's meant to be a reminder of our own mortality. I really did feel that today. Awareness of how our lives are so short and yet, we all carry so much pain around inside of us, some of it self-inflicted, some of it the result of mistakes we've made. It's a very powerful thing to be able to stand up as a community and get in touch with all of these things. Life is short, and yet, pain. What is our responsibility in all of this? How can we repair what has broken? Where do we choose to live from, now?

Felt good to sit with the questions.

Day 77: Family Matters

2010-09-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

DAMN!!! My blender just bit the dust. I guess this last banana/blueberry smoothie cream was the straw that broke the camel's back. The rotary thing that spins the blades around from the bottom, completely disintegrated. And now I'm stuck with hunks of frozen bananas & blueberries, sitting dejectedly in a bowl of milky yogurt. Sigh!

So today, my 7 year old daughter Stella decided, pretty much out of the blue, that she wanted to make her own exercise and diet plans. We haven't talked too much about the PCP, she and I, though she's certainly watched me exercise and cook more in the past 2 1/2 months than I have in, oh, probably her lifetime. (Though, randomly, this morning she asked me if I've ever used the stove - apparently she hasn't noticed me standing there cooking EVERY DAY.) From the backseat of the car, she piped up that she wanted to make a list of exercises she could do in the morning, afternoon, and evening, plus a list of foods that she could eat for each meal. The minute we got home, the two of us sat down and wrote all this stuff down. Her food list is short since she's a pretty picky eater. Boiled eggs made it on there twice, even though I don't think she's ever eaten one. But hey - it gave us the opportunity to talk about balanced meals and eating fruit/dairy for snacks, instead of processed foods. Plus, she ate half a sweet potato later for dinner, a new veggie for her. Score!

The exercises on her list were mainly her ideas but she also wanted me to show her some new stuff. See if you can spot which is which:

EXERCISES (Stella ONLY)

Morning:

jumping jacks
push ups
crunches

Afternoon:

squats
plank
duck walk (i.e. creep - she liked the name "duck walk" better)

Evening:

stretches
downward dog
meditation

Even though she marked this 'STELLA ONLY', she agreed to let Milo in on the action just this once. The two of them took yoga mats and went in the playroom while I made dinner. I'm kicking myself for not spying on them and/or taking video of their shared workout - hopefully I'll get another opportunity during "morning exercises"!

Just to keep that ball rolling, I invited them to do 8 Minute Abs with me after dinner. Pretty funny! Milo was tired, but Stella was totally game - she kept wanting me to check her form (that's my girl!) and stuck with it until the end. "What is he saying? What does 'firm up' mean? Why does he keep calling us 'guys'?" 8MA dude's funny sayings are even funnier when channeled through a 7 year old.

Even if all of this is just her "activity of the day", I am psyched to know that some of my new PCP-ified habits are starting to trickle down to the kids.

PS - TEAM BADASS is lookin' GOOD, yo! I'm loving all the new pics...which reminds me that I need to take some new ones tomorrow. And I can't get over the SEVENTEEN Day One'ers!!! Holy influx! Welcome to the hood, y'all.

Day 75.5: Form-Junkie

2010-09-13T18:31:00.001-07:00

I've been having some pain in my left shoulder - it gets pretty intense about halfway into my jumps and has almost caused me to knock off early a few times. Strangely, it hasn't bothered me as much while doing actual shoulder exercises. Except - I was watching myself do front shoulder raises yesterday and noticed that I was pulling up on my left shoulder while raising my arm, maybe to compensate for the fact that it's been hurting or is weaker than my right? Anyway - the pain was particularly bad this morning, so I went to see the chiropractor this afternoon.

He concurred that my left shoulder is much tighter than my right and could tell that I've been pulling it up and forward too much. He encouraged me to keep watching my form - which, duh. He also worked my shoulder/spine/chest/neck and it does feel a bit looser now. Hopefully I can tell a difference while jumping in the morning.

If I had one criticism of the PCP, it would be this: I dearly wish I could have done at least ONE workout with someone - Patrick ideally, or someone, anyone who could check my form and work out any kinks. Someone who could also push me to the outer limits, the way that Naoko or others who have worked face-to-face with Patrick have been pushed. Patrick, you should really think about cloning yourself so that there are at least a few of you spread out over the globe. :) Anyone who's ever been in a great class or private session with a knowledgeable teacher understands - there is no substitute for hands-on assistance. That is the only thing missing for me. Instead, I STILL - 75 days in - study those tiny pictures on our workout sheets, making sure, to the best of my ability, that my form emulates the illustrations. I guess I'm just a form-junkie, always looking for that next assist!

Day 75: Low to High, All in One Day

2010-09-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

First, a little story. Yesterday I woke up on the late side after having gone to bed super early. Tired, sore of body, emotionally...kinda spent. Feeling like I was hitting another wall with PCP, overwhelmed by the craziness of our fall schedule, off-balance from many things demanding my attention, worried about annoying health issues popping up again. Basically, poor me!

Got a very late start on morning jumps - and was totally hating every moment. Body was tired, legs were sore, left shoulder KILLING me. Got so frustrated that I burst into tears near the end. This, plus a late start, meant that I wasn't able to do the rest of the workout - had no choice but to carry on with the day, take Milo to hockey, get myself in a better frame of mind. Busy afternooon - and with friends coming over for dinner, I had to squeeze in my workout just before they arrived. By this time, my body was feeling better, my mind was calmer, and I just did what I needed to do. Reached failure on all the shoulder exercises, totally rocked it out on all those v-sits - a MUCH better experience than the morning.

Had a fun dinner with our friends - and an almost totally PCP-friendly dinner, I might add! My mood had improved so much throughout the day that my husband noticed and commented on it. This entire day was another reminder to me about how quickly things change. Even from the depths of my bad mood, there was nothing major that happened to snap me out of it, just a continual, almost imperceptible slow climb upward. Like Patrick said in a recent email - there is something to the endorphin rush of regular exercise. In the morning, I felt so blue - if it weren't for the PCP, I would have stayed in bed, in a crappy mood, ate junk and just perpetuated that bad mood. Might have even led to a mini-depression. But because the workout had to get done one way or another - and, because there was GOOD FOOD to be eaten instead of junk - I was able to re-establish an equilibrium much more quickly than before. Whew!

Which brings me to the very best part of yesterday - the part that still has me completely and utterly elated. Last night, my friend Sara called (the same Sara who we shared a house with on Fire Island) to tell me that she is seriously thinking about doing the PCP!!!!!!!!!!!!! And starting in TWO DAYS!! This was a total surprise, in the best possible way. I seriously thought that she had been thinking I was a total nut-job for getting myself involved in this project, when in fact she has been thinking about getting HERSELF into peak condition! I could not be happier for her or more proud - GO SARA!!! HUGE shout-out to you for taking this step!!

OK - changing the subject now to a completely distasteful topic. I've been swilling raw egg mixed with milk every day for a week or so now. I've also experienced an unfortunate uptick in HORRIFYING gas. I almost can't stand to be around myself, not to mention those poor folks in my physical vacinity. It's the raw eggs, right?? Also, I've had the runs (sorry!) for the past few days - strange, after being so completely regular for months now. Maybe I need to start cooking the eggs again? My tummy isn't upset, there's just way to much nasty output. Help??

More to come re: a VERY EXCITING and HUGE new purchase, to be revealed in a future post. :)

Have a great day, PCP kids!

Day 71: In Which I Psychoanalyze Myself

2010-09-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

This morning, I looked at the exercise sheet and laughed. "Davincis - 5 sets x failure". HA! Thanks, Patrick, for getting right to the point. No more pussy-footing around this whole "failure" scenario! Message received - just DO it already.

This, plus Patrick's most recent blog post, is making me think. I'm starting to understand the whole "art of laziness" thing. Why not work super hard in order to get to failure SOONER? Why take extra rest time just so you can do extra reps/sets? What a waste of time!

This way of approaching the workouts sounds really good in theory - in practice, I'm just beginning to get it. It's so opposite of my usual response, which has two components:

First, like many people, I tend to have a true panic response when faced with physical pain/challenge/difficulty. When stuff starts to hurt, my mind goes "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" and I panic and bail out. Granted, I've worked with this panic response quite a bit in my yoga practice. The Kripalu tradition has this thing called "Stage 2" where a strong pose like Setu Bhandasana (bridge) or Utkatasana (chair pose) is held for quite a while (a few minutes in some cases) so that the practitioner can literally "ride the wave" of physical, mental, and emotional responses to sensation, noticing what comes up. Undoubtedly, the initial reaction, after the first few breaths, is "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" Or at least it used to be, for me. Now, I can watch that reaction, see that it's just what my mind likes to say, come back to my breath and focus on the sensation itself, breathe into it and watch it change. Also, trust that I won't die. This type of thing has come in handy with the planks - sustaining a pose feels familiar now, doesn't make me fear death.

The repetitive exercises, on the other hand, all the reps and sets - THIS is something new that I've had to train myself to tolerate. There's so much more to think about in terms of form, effort, props. So when the repetitive motion starts to feel impossible, I wonder if I have the form right, if I'm DOING it wrong/right, if I "should" be stronger by now. Which brings me to the second component of my usual response...

I have a complicated relationship with authority (and who doesn't, right?). Growing up, I was surrounded by authority figures, both at home and at school. Not surprisingly, I developed into quite the rebel. I still have a strong independent streak, as those who live with me or who are close to me will tell you. But I also have an ingrained tendency to rely on outside authority in certain areas where I might be better served by trusting myself. What do the "experts" think I should be doing?? How would YOU do this?? That kind of thing.

How does all of this relate to the PCP? Well, if it's not already obvious, I've been very happy to place my general health in the hands of Patrick and Chen - the experts - over this 90 day period. I love the grams - there's just enough flexibility in what to eat, but no guessing required in how much to eat. And, as much as I find the workouts both exhilarating and torturous, it's the reps/sets that are my real training ground right now. Being told what exercises to do and how many, each day, has been a total blessing - there's no way I would have worked this hard without someone TELLING ME what to do.

But then, suddenly, today presented a new challenge. The experts were no longer telling me how many Davinicis they expected of me. I couldn't even choose the max or the min! Instead, I had to pay attention to my own body, watch my reactions, and make some choices. At what point do I declare "failure"? When the mind wants to quit for self-preservation purposes? Or is it possible that the body can do more than the mind says it should? I know the answer to that last one is YES. So - if I drop the counting, forget how many reps I did the last time we did Davinicis, or in the last set - then what??

What happened today was that I kept the rest times short - down to the second - and started each set with gusto, stopping only when I realized my form was being compromised, and - in the 5th set, I went until I could go no further. No idea how many reps - probably a lot less than previous times. Less because I wasn't slowing things down unconsciously in order to make sure I got to all the reps listed on the sheet. HA! I can't believe I was doing that, but I really was! I must have been wasting time, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be physically able to perform the perfect sets that the experts were expecting. No WONDER I haven't been able to get my workout down to an hour!

So, hey - it's a learning process, eh? It feels good to be at this stage of the game, learning to let my body show me how far it can go, learning to take back some power from the experts. I'm curious to see what happens to my workouts this week, if I can truly begin to embrace failure instead of merely flirting with it.

Day 69: The Devil's in the Details

2010-09-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I feel like an idiot! Just found out that, all this time, I've been doing some of the exercises wrong. Rowing never made sense to me - I just couldn't really feel it in my back. So I finally asked Patrick about it, and yup, I've been anchoring the band a bit too high. High enough that I was pulling down and back, instead of back and up. So tonight I set the band lower and pulled back and up - what a difference!! Also, the lawnmower - I think my form has been off and I've been pulling back too much with my core, not isolating in the shoulderblade area. Hmphh! No wonder my back is less developed than the rest of me.

Speaking of details, I learned something cool about planks the other day. Decided to venture over to the power yoga studio and check out the scene. I went with a friend and took a class with a wonderful teacher named Freddie who had a ton of great alignment details to share. It was actually more like a strengthening workout than a traditional yoga class - something that would have bothered me months ago, but as a PCP'er, it was cool to see how strong I've become...and to learn some new tricks. So let's see if I can describe this accurately.

Come into plank on your forearms. First of all, make sure that your butt is in line with the rest of your body. If you find that you're holding your butt too high, lower it, making one long line from your heels to the crown of your head. Next, press strongly into your elbows as you spread the shoulderblades away from one another, rounding slightly in your upper back. Feel how this causes the obliques to engage. Now, pull the abdominals in strongly as you round the lower back as much as you can without losing the long line of your body. Last, begin to pull your elbows and your toes toward one another. Notice how you feel!

This experience was noticeably different for me than what I had been doing up until then, which was kinda "hanging out" in plank. I put my body in the form of the pose and used my breath to focus and sustain me until the allotted time was up. But THIS plank, where I was purposefully engaging every muscle in my body - WOWSA! It was much more challenging, for sure, but it also gave me the feeling of being made of steel - totally solid, hard as a rock. Also, vibrating with energy! Even in the yoga class, we held this for a nice long time. Probably not 90 seconds or anything, but even so - I was like, holy cow, Freddie - have you studied with Patrick??

The next day, we had 5x90 second planks on our list, so I did this hard-body plank. And failed out on the last two!! Success! I mean, failure! COOL.

Day 68: The Freak Show Continues...

2010-09-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm at a point with the physical development where I'm discovering lots of new, freakish things about my body. It's becoming quite funny, actually. Check it out:
What the heck is that thumbprint-sized indentation between my boobs? Well, I guess that's my sternum - hello, BONES. I noticed this yesterday, which led to another freakish discovery. I can now visibly flex my pecs in the mirror. But - since my boobs have almost completely disappeared, my buffed-out pectorals bulge out of my chest more prominently than my poor, sagging bresticles. This is a sideshow-quality display for sure, but...you'll have to take my word for it. :) All I can say is, thank god for SHIRTS!

Also, here's a close up how those abs are doing:
I'm starting to see some of the upper abdominus rectus peek through, as well as the obliques and lats. And then there's the remains of my wrinkly belly fat. Sigh! It acually looks flatter in this photo than it normally appears. Hmm, maybe I should give it a name...let's see, how about Melvin? Louise - I think Melvin and Nigel are related. 2nd cousins once removed?? HA - by the end of this project I'd like to see both Melvin and Nigel COMPLETELY removed!!

Funny story - remember my friends, Rachel and Bernie, who we camped with in Colorado in July? They came to NYC this weekend so we got to hang out. They both commented on how different I look since we saw each other a month ago - which, since they are such close friends, prompted me to show them all my new sideshow tricks. (Well, except the boob/pec thing - I do have SOME modesty!) I flashed them my abs and then made some comment about Melvin still hanging around. Bernie, who is a brilliant family doctor, said, "Dude, I'm sorry to tell you, but the only way to get rid of that completely is to have surgery."

WELL, Dr. Birnbaum! I take your comment as a personal challenge. Even if it takes me more that 90 days - even if it takes me double that - I WILL eradicate Melvin! And I will do it without surgery. You've laid down the gauntlet, so I now have no choice but to use every tool in my arsenal. 8 Minute Abs every day for the last 22 days of this sucker - BRING IT! There - now I've said it. Now I have to do it!

In other badass news, I ate a raw egg this morning! Just whipped it and tossed it in a big glass of milk, sprinkled in a little cinnamon, and down the hatch. I felt just like Rocky Balboa. YUM.

Tomorrow, first day of school for the kiddos! Milo is starting kindergarten, Stella's psyched for 2nd grade. Can't believe summer's over!!!

Day 65: Things are Dropping, For Better and Worse

2010-09-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

Right before I started PCP, I bought a fancy new scale that tells me not only my weight, but also body fat %. I've been checking the scale randomly for my weight since we started. Haven't had a huge drop in lbs, no biggie. But yesterday I decided to check the body fat % for the first time. The stats:

Day 1, weight 117 lbs, body fat 24.3%
Day 64, weight 110 lbs, body fat 18.8%

So that's a 5.5% drop. Pretty respectable, eh? I'm happy to see the change in numbers that I've been feeling in my body. New muscles, less fat, yay!

However, and this may be TMI, I've also been experiencing a concurrent drop in sex drive. Pretty much since the beginning of this project. This is not necessarily a new issue for me - I've struggled on and off with keeping the spark alive over the years. It's probably a combination of hormones and mental/emotional blocks that seem to pop up from time to time. I do think my lack of sex drive is being exacerbated by the PCP. When I commit to a project, I become completely focused/obsessed with it. I'm sorta all-PCP-all-the-time, to a fault. Dan, when he reads this, will definitely be nodding his head.

Not to mention all the changes I'm experiencing on a physical level. On the one hand, I'm very proud of all the progress I've made in my body. I like what I see, but even more, I love how I feel - super strong and healthier than I've probably ever been. But - here's the weird part: this new, improved body is kinda freaking me out. I'm SO not used to having these muscles. Seriously. This morning I was working out on the deck, doing bicep curls, and I decided to face the windows instead of the backyard. I watched these crazy biceps in the reflection of the window and they just didn't feel like mine. My mind went into a daydream about showing up for a yoga class at the "power yoga" studio where I rarely go (power yoga is usually not my thing) and what kind of assumptions might be made of me merely for how defined my body is becoming. Am I really ready to step out into the world as a super-fit, muscle-lady who "works out"?

I don't know - I'm just not owning it all yet. I think these conflicted feelings about my body and my appearance are affecting my ability to relax and just be myself, even with my poor husband. The flip side is that I know from past experience that once I can be honest with myself and with Dan about how I'm truly feeling, things will shift. The other day, he asked me, "Have other people on the PCP lost their sex drive?" For both of our sakes, I hope we can turn things around (though blogging it out is probably not the solution Dan had in mind... ;)

Day 63: Let's Talk About FOOD

2010-09-01T06:32:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I blogged about what I'm eating. I've made a couple of new discoveries in the PCP food world that have been making me VERY happy, so I thought I'd share!

First, kale chips. YUM.
Now, that might look like just a bowl of fresh kale, but in fact it's a bowl of crispy roasted kale chips - a FABULOUS replacement for any other kind of chip, if that's what you're craving. Or, you might look as this as the absolute EASIEST way to eat a big bunch of kale (possibly in one sitting!).

Here's how to make them:

1 big bunch of green or red kale - the curly kind works better than the lacinato kind
1 Tbsp (or less) olive oil
1 Tbsp (or slightly more) vinegar

Heat oven to 350. Wash kale, and while you're doing so, tear the leaves from the stems (discard stems) and tear leaves into chip-sized pieces. Dry thoroughly (salad spinner works best). Place dry kale leaves in a big bowl and add oil and vinegar. Mix it up with your hands so that all the leaves are coated in the oil/vinegar. Place in single layer on baking sheet and bake for 10ish minutes. Check on them at 8 min or so - maybe stir/flip them. Depending on how crispy you want them, keep them in a little longer. They're done when they are crispy and dark green. Take them out and eat them right off the pan! Or, keep them in an airtight container.

Bonus - when kale is roasted like this, it becomes almost weightless - so you could hypothetically eat a TON of kale chips as part of your veggie alotment. Because of the oil, I've been trying to eat them sparingly or as a PCP-ified snack. I supposed you could try to roast them without any oil - let me know how that comes out!

Next, baked tilapia. Sadly, I have no pictures of this. But I've experimented with different ways to bake this fish, and I think by now I've perfected it - at least for my tastebuds!

1 - 2 tilapia fillets
2 - 4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 lemon
cracked pepper
tiny amt. olive oil

Heat oven to 350. Brush bottom of baking dish with oil. Place fillets in dish. Rub crushed, juicy garlic onto the fillets - the more the better. Squeeze lemon over the whole thing, and sprinkle liberally with cracked pepper. Bake for 20ish minutes, until the edges of the fish start to brown and the flesh flakes in big chunks. (I realized that I had been undercooking my fish so that it came out a little too soggy - so now I err on the side of a few more minutes in the oven. It won't dry out because of all the lemon juice.) Enjoy right out of the oven - also makes good leftovers.

Hey, here's a bonafide PCP dessert: banana smoothie-cream. I think someone else (maybe Elena?) blogged about this a while ago, but MAN does it deserve a re-post! I discovered this the night we got back from Fire Island - cupboards & fridge totally bare, but hiding in the back of the freezer? Frozen bananas!

Overripe frozen bananas (PERFECT way to use up those brown ones)
Plain yogurt
Splash of milk

If you've got a fruit/yogurt snack on your diet sheet, measure out the appropriate grams of bananas & yogurt and throw 'em in the blender. Blend until smooth. Experiment with texture/thickness - if needed, toss in a splash of milk to make it a little thinner/creamier. Pour into a tall glass and FREAK OUT over how the gods are smiling on you with this delicious treat. I might even go so far as to say that this is BETTER THAN ICE CREAM.

Last but not least, a new way to prepare eggs - poached in the microwave! My friend Sara and I experimented with this on vacation. If you like poached eggs but hate the mess/time it takes to prepare them, this is definitely a quick and easy method.

Crack an egg into a mug. Add 1/3 cup water and a splash of vinegar (to help keep the egg together in the water). Place in microwave and cover with a saucer. Cook at 80% power for 1 minute. If the white still looks undercooked, cook again at 80% for intervals of 10 secs. (Requires a little experimenting with your microwave to get it just right. Biggest difference between this and a stovetop method is that microwaves cook from the inside out, so the yolk might be on the firm side.) Drain and enjoy!

As a post-script to this post, I gotta say that the PCP has completely revolutionized the way I cook! I've had a similar experience to Tara - before PCP, I cooked either from recipes (which always seemed to require special ingredients like obscure spices or oils that I didn't have in the pantry - thus, the glut of one-time-used items hanging around in the back of my pantry) or not at all. Looking back, I don't even know WHAT I was eating half the time. Frozen Trader Joe's? Crappy prepared food from our local market? Leftover food from the kids' dinner? Yes, yes and yes.

Now, like Tara, like all of you, I shop for fresh foods without worrying about how I'm going to prepare them. No recipes, no random jars of spices that I'll only use once. I buy TONS of vegetables and marvel at how quickly I go through them - and, at how many ways there are to eat them: roasted, steamed, sauteed, grilled, raw, combined or on their own. I buy fish and chicken knowing that I can prepare them in delicious ways. I have a new appreciation for simple, cooked whole grains like quinoa, brown rice - and eat them with raw veggies on salads as often as I do in warm bowls of cooked veggies.

The best part of the PCP diet for me is that I have finally become more confident in the kitchen merely because I've been forced to experiment. The mysteries of the kitchen are finally being de-mystified simply because I'm IN there all the time! I can't tell you how happy this makes me.

Also - having previously adopted bad eating habits out of pure laziness and bad planning, I now see the beauty and EASE of thinking ahead just a little bit to plan my meals. It's not nearly so hard and so time-consuming as I always assumed it would be! Planning ahead AND knowing that it really doesn't take long to whip up a batch of roasted brussell sprouts, now that I've done it so many times. This knowledge will take me FAR beyond the end of this project, that's for sure.

Happy eating, PCP comrades!

Day 62: Fire Island Retrospective/New Pics

2010-08-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

Dudes - this is my third try today at writing a retrospective post about our time in Fire Island. First try was all fun stories and pictures. Second try was an attempt to verbalize how hard it was to be on the PCP in that environment. Just now, I went back and read my last few posts from before and during our trip...and realized that I'd already verbalized this conflict as it was happening. SO - for my third and final try, suffice it to say that, PCP + social-y vacation with husband, friends and kids = HARD. I don't think I handled it as well as I could have, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I still managed to have lots of fun times with everybody.

Now that we're home, I'm overwhelmed with relief, so happy to be back in my own space, in my own kitchen, in charge of my own destiny, as it were. I've had the best couple of days of workouts and cooking - in fact, I think I've had 3 PPCPD's in a row!! Interestingly, the kids are also reveling in being back in their own space. They both spent the entire day yesterday creating elaborate "hide-outs" in their rooms, and today was more of the same - building and expanding their hide-outs, playing games in there, listening to music. Even the dog has been in rest and recovery mode. Home sweet home!

I do want to share some pictures of the gorgeousness that is Fire Island. First, my early morning jumping spot: the Fair Harbor ferry dock.
Check out that swan floating by. Almost every morning, a crew of swans would be out in the bay, all in a line, on their way to work, I guess. The earlier I got out, the better chance I'd have of seeing them - too late, and I was treated instead to the garbage barge dropping off the trash taxis for their daily rounds.

I totally forgot to take pictures from the roof deck where I did most of my exercises. Our friend Doug the photographer took one of me doing lunges up there, but for the life of me, I can't get it to load from his flickr set. Maybe later.

One night, we saw the moon rise over the ocean, an enormous orange orb rising up from the horizon, creating orange moon-shaped reflections on the water. Incredible! The next morning, we ran out to the beach to see the sun rise in the same spot:

A very Fire Island tradition - the wagon sale. Kids load up their wagons with stuff to sell - mostly homemade stuff like baked goods or painted shells (though this year, there was more and more random street-fair type junk being sold) - and haul them out to the dock during "sixish". Sixish is when everyone brings their boozy drinks to the dock to watch the sunset - usually more like 7 or 8 o'clock. Here's Stella with her wagon sale of handmade shell necklaces:

She made $12!

An hour or so later, sunset over the bay

Last but not least, the beach. We had a LOT of awesome days at the beach - one of the big reasons we love Fire Island.

The kids on their boogie boards
Stella and I relaxing in the shade
Milo doing some serious sand excavations
Dan and I soaking up the rays - well, except for Dan who doesn't like the sun ;)
Clyde jumping around in the surf like a madman
Stella and I making muscles on a red flag day
Wave jumping
Fire Island family portrait

New weekly pics are up! You'll recognize a bunch, but there are a slew of other new ones taken "on location". I'm pretty happy with how my upper body is shaping up - I kinda can't believe the muscle definition in my chest and arms, and external obliques. Abs and hips/buttocks still need some work. Good thing I have another 28 days to put my butt to the grindstone!

'Til tomorrow...

Day 61: This One's For You, Team Badass!

2010-08-30T10:47:00.001-07:00

Haley, girl, I'm giving you the biggest virtual fist-bump right now! Your post just got to the heart of it for Team Badass. We do need to recommit to the blogging, the photos, and to making it HAPPEN for the next month! We ARE the role models now (!?!). Mostly, though, I'm so psyched that you wrote that post. Path of righteousness, indeed!!!

So here's a fun little image for you. Yesterday, we left Fire Island - a process in and of itself. All packed up, we had a team of 5 adults and 4 kids hauling our bags down to the dock where we caught the ferry back to the mainland. Before the ferry came, my friend Sara decided to do some impromptu dock-jumping. After her first jump, she called over, "Mrs. Rubin, I double-dog dare you to jump in here too!!" I have to point out here that she came to the dock in her swimsuit, while I was freshly showered and wearing real clothes for the first time in two weeks. Well, it took me about 3 seconds to decide, the hell with it, I can't walk away from a double-dog dare!! I stripped off my shirt, dropped my shorts - yes, in front of all those assembled on the dock to catch the ferry - and dove into the salt-water bay in my skivvies. Totally badass. After 2 jumps, I put my clothes on over my dripping wet body and got on the ferry to go home.

This was the perfect way to leave Fire Island - facing a challenge and not taking the easy way out. Sure, it was a super hot day and jumping off the dock is nothing but fun - but still. Would have been easier to stay nice and clean and dry, and not flash my undies to the world. And this is how I feel about the PCP right now: it's time to dig in, get all dirty, and take no prisoners. We all signed up for this challenge, and I think we've all found it to be a good deal more challenging than we expected going in. Despite all doubters, despite all hardships, despite even ourselves at some points, we're still here.

Thank you, Haley, for being our karmic kick-in-the-ass!!! I pledge to keep up my end of the deal and to blog religiously until the bitter end. Go Team Badassssss!

Day 59: A New Way to Jump

2010-08-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Ilan, I've been totally inspired by you and your jumprope skills. For the past 2 mornings, I've set my watch to 16 minutes instead of 4 sets of 4 minutes. Instead of my brain wondering when those 4 minutes are. going. to. be. done....I just don't worry about the time and jump for as long as I can. Feels great - and, surprise, I can jump for longer than 4 minutes. Those 16 minutes go by much faster, even if I take a short break somewhere in the middle. Revelation!

When we get home, I NEED to get myself a pull-up bar. I've been using a bar on the playground for the past 2 weeks. I gotta say, my pull-ups are totally ridiculous, as I can only lift myself a few inches. But over the 2 weeks, I gained at least an inch or two. So Patrick, is it better to do what I can with the real pull-up bar without assistance, to use some kind of assist to be able to lift myself higher, or to stick with incline pull-ups for now?

Tomorrow we leave Fire Island for the mainland. I have lots of pics to share but no time at the moment. Off to enjoy the beach for our last full day!

Day 57: Indulgence #2

2010-08-26T05:49:00.000-07:00

Wow, the time keeps on flying! Still here on Fire Island, having a much better week. Not much time online, however - I feel very out of the loop with the blogging, both mine and yours. Here's what I did for my second indulgence, last Saturday night.

In the little town of Fair Harbor, we have a grocery store, an ice cream stand, a liquor store, a take-out pizza place, and one restaurant: Le Dock. It's on the dock - ha. It happens to be quite a good restaurant, with lots of local seafood options. For this indulgence, I wasn't necessarily craving a specific food. What I was craving was a nice, relaxed meal in a restaurant where I could taste and indulge in some special fresh and local foods. Le Dock = perfect choice.
Our friends were nice enough to babysit while Dan and I went out for dinner. Confession: I'm sure I went over the calorie allotment for this indulgence. I was planning to share a bunch of dishes with Dan (which we did), but of course there was also a glass of wine and some bread...once I got going, it was like, why stop??
There's my ahMAZing "she-crab soup" appetizer - chock full of potato, corn, tomato and big chunks of crab in a creamy, peppery soup. I ate almost all of it. On the right is a disappointing "salt and pepper shrimp". We didn't realize it was going to be just a plate of fried shrimp (though I still ate a bunch of them). Dan had a ceasar salad, which I did not touch, being completely bored with salad.
Here's the delicious entree we shared: a tempura soft-shell crab roll with avocado. Holy yum. It was perfection. I stayed away from the soy sauce - no need for all that salt.

Then, even though I was full and pleasantly buzzed from one glass of pinot grigio, we had to try their "special" dessert of the night: an apple tart with a tiny bit of vanilla ice cream.
Can you tell how excited I was to have a real dessert?? It was totally perfect - baked apple with some cinnamon, just the right amount of crust, a little ice cream. Not too sweet! I couldn't even imagine eating the flourless chocolate cake - that would have done me in for good.

The full effect of eating all this food was me passing out on the couch pretty soon after we got back. My belly was uncomfortably full for a few hours, but I slept soundly that night. Woke up early with a slight belly ache, went to the bathroom, went back to sleep, then got up for the day feeling slightly sluggish. Didn't feel like jumping that morning, what with the remnants of the meal still jostling around inside me, so I went for a half-hour run on the beach instead. After that I was back to normal.

All in all, it was a very satisfying indulgence - unlike the previous one, that grainy ice cream cone which just wasn't good. Pretty much everything I ate was delicious, it was nice to have one glass of wine, and I totally enjoyed the low-key, relaxed restaurant environment. It felt like a celebration of having come this far in the PCP - and also a reminder that on a daily basis, I feel SO MUCH healthier and lighter eating all the simple veggies, proteins, fruit and grains of the PCP diet. Nice to indulge, but I was very happy to get back to my tupperware of vegetables in the morning.

One more thing: similar to that apple tart, my friend Sara (the baker) made an incredible plum/blueberry tart the other night. Again, very simple, but the crust is made out of butter, flour and sugar, so not PCP-friendly. For my portion, we just put a bunch of plum slices and some berries in a tin-foil pouch and baked it alongside the tart. The end result was like a fruit stew - a soft, delicious pile of warm fruit that felt very dessert-y. Perfect way to eat fruit that might be getting a little overripe!

In other news, we've gotten into more of a groove here with the sharing of the house. It helps a TON to have Dan here. We've had some very good days that are a mixture of the 4 of us going off on our own, and then some amount of being together with our friends. Even 4 days of rainy cool/cold weather was not so bad - and now it's beautiful and sunny again. In terms of PCP stuff, I'm still splitting up the jumping from the exercises. It just works better that way in terms of fitting it into our days. I'm doing the best I can with the exercises - often getting interrupted, but sometimes doing some extra sets when that happens to regain momentum. I do like timed jumping much better than counting my jumps, as my brain doesn't have to work so hard. :)

I CANNOT BELIEVE that Team Sexaaaay is only three days away from finishing this sucker!!! This is not fair. You guys can't graduate - who will we look to for advice and wisdom??? I'm getting sad already. Sniff!

Day 51: New Pics

2010-08-20T19:53:00.000-07:00

New pics are up! Sorry it took so long. Haven't posted any since Day 39 - oops.

WOW I'm fried in these photos! This, despite copious applications and re-applications of sunscreen. You can plainly see how my belly once was the whitest part of me. Speaking of, these pics definitely show off my wrinkly elephant skin...I wonder what will become of it, if anything??

Feeling much better today - thanks for all the love, folks. And now we have 4 adults on the premises for the weekend, so childcaring and childsharing should be a bit easier. Oh, and my outburst yesterday was definitely PMS-related. Aunt Flo showed up today to take some of the edge off, thank goodness.

Will take and post some photos of this lovely island over the next few days - especially my view from up on the roof deck, and my early morning jumping spot. It's gorgeous here. Views definitely help with the pain!

Day 50: When PCP Stress Rears Its Ugly Head

2010-08-19T18:05:00.000-07:00

CanNOT believe we're at Day 50 already! Where has the time gone???

Today was another freakin' emotional day. These workouts are bringing me to tears, kids. I dunno, I suppose it's one way of letting out some stress. It's almost like Pavlov's dogs at this point - exercises get hard, tearducts activate.

What's it all about? I feel kinda beaten down by the last few days. It's somewhat complicated to be sharing vacation space, to negotiate all the details of the day with another family, and then to try to work in my PCP responsibilities on top of that. I end up feeling resentful - resentful of the PCP for making me think and plan while on vacation, resentful of the vacation itself. I know that I purposefully signed up for both things, knowing that they would coincide - and I trust that it will all work itself out. But today, I was not at my best.

It's super busy at the house. Kids everywhere, dogs underfoot, adults with different agendas. I started my workout in the early evening while everyone was out at the beach (thank GOD Dan arrived this afternoon, so it was possible for me to stay behind). Halfway through, everyone returned, just as I was sweating it out and fighting tears up on the roof deck. I tried to ignore all the goings on for a few more sets, then decided to take a break, help with the kids, and finish up later. I came down to find Milo trying to rinse himself with the outdoor hose. I asked him to go get in the shower instead. He looked at me, yelled NO and literally turned the hose on me. Classic. I had such a knee-jerk reaction to this - I yelled back, ran back up to the roof deck, and dissolved into tears like a 5 year old. At this point, I thought, I'm actually going insane! I'm losing control of my faculties!

Over the course of the next half hour, I also yelled at my daughter, yelled at the dog, stomped around the house menacingly, and then finally went on to finish the workout. I'm sure I scared the rest of the crew - I certainly scared myself. When I finished the abs, I took some extra time to stretch and breath up on the roof deck...and when I re-entered the house, feeling a little more calm, the kids and Dan were all fine and happy, as if nothing untoward had happened. But it did happen and I feel badly about it. When PCP meets life, it's not all wine and roses.

To add to all the drama, I'm feeling like it's near to impossible to achieve a focused workout here. Yes, I know, I'm a little type A - I like to tick things off in perfect succession. So far, I've had to be quite "creative" with time and space to fit everything in - it all happens, just not when I want it to. And I do miss the endorphin rush which, as Grace mentioned, comes with doing everything from start to finish. I want to kick this program in the ass, but right now it feels like the other way around.

Annnnnd, another thing. My diet has shifted to include quite a bit more food suddenly. No more apple and egg whites for dinner - and just as I was beginning to appreciate the simplicity of that meal! Now I have an egg and milk after working out, bigger snacks, AMAYW veggies for lunch AND dinner, protein at all three meals. Hey - I'm not complaining, as I'm definitely not so hungry anymore! But it's an adjustment that, coupled with the lack of focused workouts, has left me feeling soft and blobby in my body again. I know, I know, our bodies are constantly shifting and changing - this feeling will definitely go away. Maybe it's also PMS?

OK - rant over. An upswing is right around the corner, right?

Thinking of all you PCP'ers right now - thankful that you're out there!

Day 48: From Fair Harbor, Fire Island

2010-08-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Holey wholey holy heck - YES I'm still here. From Sat - Tues, here's the short version:

Arrived on Saturday morning, VERY glad to have that day of packing/organizing/freaking out hell behind me. Sat and Sun were busy days of getting settled, hanging with our friends and friends/family of those friends who were all here for the weekend. Sun night everyone left except myself, my friend Sara, our 4 kids and 2 dogs. Mon and Tues we've been doin' the Fire Island thang...going from the ocean side beach to the bay side beach, riding bikes all over, eating ice cream everyday (well, everyone but me - SAD).

I'm not going to lie - it's great to be here. This is a special place where virtually everyone is on vacation and in vacation mode. It's verrrrry relaxing. That is, when we're all set up on the beach, or riding our bikes around. Being here with 4 kids and only 2 parents means a significant part of our day is spent getting ready for beach or bike rides, or dealing with the individual dramas and group dynamics of 4 kids under the age of 7. So it's fun and relaxing, but also a lot of work.

Fitting the workouts into these 2-parent days has been a challenge. For the first time, I've been splitting up the jumping and the exercises, which I kinda like from a stamina standpoint. Jumping I've been doing first thing. But it ain't easy to find the time or the space or the focus to fit in the rest. So far, I've figured it out - but it's been kinda laughable. Sit-ups on the deck with 2 dogs and 2 kids in my face...planks in the kitchen at 10 pm while veggies roast in the oven...kung-fu sit-ups at the playground in front of the playground rush hour crowd...it's a different type of workout.

At certain points, I find myself feeling overwhelmed, frustrated by the feeling of being half-assed in both the PCP world and the social/IRL/vacation world. I feel pulled to be be as focused on PCP stuff as I've had the luxury of being all summer. But at the same time, I want to fully enjoy every day here without being so serious all the time. Any other time we've been on vacation with friends, I'm the party girl - always ready with a drink, always willing to indulge. (Which reminds me - indulgence #2 comes at a GREAT time!) I miss that girl. I miss getting a little loosey goosey. And now I've driven Sara to drink alone - NOT FAIR!

On the plus side, there is only one more full day of 2 parents/4 kids (hopefully). Dan is supposed to join us out here on Thursday, to stay for the duration - yay! Also Doug (Sara's husband) will be coming and going over the next two weeks. Another plus is that I've been having a really good time with the kids - this is a little slice of heaven for them, being here. It's great to see them doing their thing and to do it with them or alongside them. New activity this year: jumping from dock into bay!

No wifi here, but we do have an (meaning one) internet cable. With 2-4 laptop-ed adults and only one connection at a time, I don't get much time to blog or respond to blogs. I really, really should be asleep now, for instance. Gotta get to that - so g'night, will try to respond more tomorrow.

Day 44.5: Still Raw...

2010-08-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

...just like my veggies.

So, yeah. Quite the emotional upheaval earlier. The thing that made it possible for me to carry on with my day was, literally, blogging it out and knowing, even before anyone responded, that you would all understand and not think I was bat-shit insane. So, thanks for that and also for your words of wisdom. They really did help. I do feel moderately better.

I guess I could sense it building, this anxiety around moving my PCP-ified life out to the island. Which is, of course, kinda nutballs since Fire Island is the happiest place on earth, a place of few cares and no worries. We're lucky ducks to be able to be there for so long and I really am excited to finally get there - and, to be with our friends! And yet, those lingering worries about how to navigate the PCP out there just came to an ugly, ugly head this AM.

I know I'll get thru this phase - I'm not truly considering throwing in the towel. I want to get to the sage-like hard-body stage that Team Sexaaaay is rockin'! For now, though, all I can do is muddle through one day at a time.

Not so much looking forward to tomorrow's workout, since most likely I won't have time in the morning to do it at home before we leave. But I *will* get to wear my new workout gloves (thx for the suggestion, Haley). Which will hopefully prevent more of this from happening:
Wait, what? You're wondering why I'm flipping the...OH! I see it now! So sorry, didn't mean to offend. I just wanted to show you my bruised middle finger. Yep, whipped by my new rope. But, now that you mention it, a f*$# you feels kinda cathartic.

YES I will have internet access at the beach - holy hell, I think I'd be even farther over the edge if I had to unplug from everyone's blogs for that long. Y'all keep me going. So, more updates forthcoming fer sure.

Day 44: JINXED

2010-08-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

F*@)$%*(#@)@(*$^&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's hitting me. Hard. I cried thru the entire workout this morning - in fact, am still crying. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. My body hurts, every part of it. My new rope keeps snapping the backs of my hands when I trip, so my knuckles are swollen and sore. The backs of my knees are bruised and sore from that trapeze bar. My glutes are KILLING from who knows what. I can't do the incline pull-ups to save my life. Why isn't my back getting any stronger?? Plus, now the insides of my knuckles are red and sore from gripping the table. Everything about today's workout sucked ass - and yesterday's wasn't much better. It's taking me SO LONG to get through the whole thing. And I keep my rest times short, I really do! It's the damn exercises themselves that are dragging me down, way down.

Plus, I've got a million things to do today. I'm packing up our whole family for 2 weeks - clothes, food, stuff, bikes....and still a few errands to run. I hate days like this. Overwhelmed by to-do lists, no time to do fun stuff with the kids - it's likely that they'll spend much to long in front of the TV today. Damn.

I've been so focused on these workouts, on the cooking/shopping/preparing food, on the blogging...which, I'm realizing, is literally time taken away from my husband and my kids. I hate that when my kids get up in the morning, I'm in the middle of my workout and I don't really say a proper good-morning until I'm done. I hate that when I'm working on a blog post, the kids will be asking to go do something and I tell them, give me a few more minutes. Another few minutes. I hate that my evenings are now spent either blogging or cooking instead of hanging out with my husband. I find it sad that most nights, I'm on the laptop and he's on his new ipad. That's what's become our quality time.

I'm scared about going out to Fire Island. We're renting a house with our best friends. Last year, we spent all our time out with the kids during the day, and drinking copious amounts of tequila at night. I don't know what's going to happen this year. I don't see how I'm going to find the time it takes to do all this PCP jazz - and still be able to live in laissez-faire island time. There will be 4 or 5 days where it's just me, Sara, and our four kids - oh, and 2 dogs - so stealing away to work out won't be so easy. Plus, my early bedtimes and non-drinking are diametrically opposed to the late-night boozefests that we so enjoyed last year. F$*%!

I'm tired, my body hurts, and I just remembered the container of leftover non-PCP pancakes that I made for the kids yesterday morning. Just shoot me now.

Day 43.5: How I Spent My Evening

2010-08-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

First, getting OVER myself.

Second, trying this:

And this:
And also this:
More pics and video (hopefully) to come.

Day 43: Waiting For That Other Shoe...

2010-08-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

Here's what's on my mind today:

When I read the following words from Patrick re: the proverbial PCP valley...

"The people I REALLY worry about are the ones who post about how fun
and peachy PCP is and how they NEVER go off the rails."

...I said to Dan, "Dude - do you think he's talking about ME???"

I'm just sitting here, waiting. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Wondering if it'll happen during the next 2 weeks while we're at the beach...

...'Cause that'd be fun! And peachy! Can't wait!

Day 42: Quick Update

2010-08-11T05:50:00.000-07:00

After only one morning together, I do believe that my new rope and I are a match made in heaven. :)

We're still getting to know one another, but there were times where we fell into an easy rhythm and I felt that we had known each other for years. Sigh. I guess this confirms my suspicions that ex-rope was no longer pulling her weight. Goodbye, torn and frayed! Hello, sleek and sexay!

(Also, with the new rope, 1500 jumps went by MINUTES faster on the clock than 1400. Yay!)

This morning I also experienced 8 Minute Abs for the first time. Definitely cheesy, but definitely GOOD. I love his enthusiasm!!!!!! He talks like this!!!!!! Just 10 more seconds, you can do it!!!!!! Eight minutes went by in a flash. Kinda nice to have somebody cheering me on!

XOXO

Day 41: Deep Thoughts and Random Observations

2010-08-10T14:52:00.000-07:00

Coupla random observations to share with y'all:

1) I think I cleared the 100 jump hurdle merely by counting my sets by 200 this week. (Thanks for your ideas and responses, all.) Funny how the mind works! It makes a big difference having only 7 stones to keep track of now. Even though the overall time hasn't changed too drastically, I'm not getting so frustrated by how long. it. takes. to. get. thru. all. the. sets. And, of course, my body is totally willing to jump 2oox - or more - in a row now that my mind is willing to allow it. Tomorrow, I'm going to do 5 sets of 300 jumps. No biggie, right? RIGHT!

2)Speaking of the ol' rope...here's what 41 day of jumping has done to mine:

Torn and frayed!

"And his coat is torn and frayed
It's seen much better days
Just as long as the guitar plays
Let it steal your heart away
Let it steal your heart away"

Let's go in for a close-up, shall we?
The blue outer layer wore away a few weeks ago, leaving what seemed to be a sturdy thick rope underneath. But this morning I noticed that the white rope was almost non-existent, just threads covering a third, smaller rope inside. Needless to say, the ol' rope, she is no longer swingin' the way she did when she was young. She used to swing like a dream, like a Stones guitar lick, stealin' my heart away. Now she's all over the place, sloppy and feather-weight when I need her to be steady and strong. So I broke down today and purchased this:
To be honest, I'm scared of this thing. What with all the tripping that goes on, I'm afraid I'm going to end up getting whipped with 40 lashes! But - if it's durable, strong and steady, and if I can adjust it to the right length (as the package says I can), then a few lash marks now and then might be worth it?? I don't know - will report back tomorrow.

3)It occurred to me today, as I was out and about running errands with the kids, that my days now are all about consistently resisting temptation. This week, I'm really starting to see where I would normally turn to food in response to whatever stress or boredom presents itself in the day-to-day. Day camp is over, the kids are with me all day, there's no routine or structure to our days, and I'm trying to get a bunch of stuff accomplished before we go off to the beach for two weeks while keeping the kids from causing damage to themselves or the dog. Sometimes, I feel stressed by all of this. Yesterday was one of those days, today was not. So I watched myself wandering into the kitchen, either out of stress and boredom, really wanting to put a handful of something in my mouth. Or coming so close to eating a slice of Stella's muffin when I took them out to the coffeeshop - because I was hungry, because it was there. But I didn't cave! I saw what was happening, I saw the emotions behind the urge to eat, and I made a choice. RESIST!! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!

Also, I know that the slippery slope is a very steep and icy one. I just don't want to tempt fate by sliding down there even a little bit. I could so easily go "off the reservation" like many of you have blogged about. It's totally possible that I still might! But for now, I don't know - I'm finding out how strong my will-power really is, I guess. I keep going back to, this is only for 90 days. I can do - or NOT do - anything for 90 days. It's the blink of an eye, really, in the grand scheme of things.

4)Speaking of staying the course even while out and about...I don't know how many of you in the States have a Whole Foods near you? (Aside: I have mixed feelings about this place - some of my friends call it Whole Paycheck, but still shop there, which kinda sums it up.) I discovered today that this is the very best place to grab a totally kosher PCP lunch! They have an amazing salad bar/prepared foods bar where I was able to get a big bowl of cooked grains, pieces of simply prepared turkey breast, topped with loads of fresh veggies/yummy salads - they even had balsamic vinegar alongside the dressings. No, I didn't have my scale with me, but I'm getting pretty good at estimating amounts. I will admit that I drove kinda out of my way to eat there with the kids...but we had more errands to finish afterward and had reached the point of MOM I'M STARVING!!! So it was worth it.

Anyhow, stay strong, PCP compatriots! Show yer ass who's bad!!!

XOXO

Day 40: Bikini KILL

2010-08-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

Vermont! Cool, sunny weather! Kids riding bikes! On 2 wheels! Blueberries!

These are some of the highlights of our weekend. Fun times. Another very personal highlight for me...I went shopping. For a bikini. (!!!)

Even a week ago, I wasn't convinced that I'd ever feel "peaky" enough to bare my belly in public. In fact, I went bikini shopping just so that I'd have something to wear in my weekly photos. But, damn! Looking this week's photos, I can hardly believe that's me:
I've had a shall-we-say "complicated" relationship with my belly since having kids. My pregnancy battle scars include lots of wrinkled, sagging belly skin and visible stretch marks over both hips. Recently, I've made peace with these aspects of my physical body, just accepting them for what they are - visual reminders of my baby-carrying days, not weaknesses, but signs of how strong my body truly is. At the same time, I've accepted the fact my belly is best kept covered, even at the beach: I'm too old, bikinis are for the young, most moms wear tankinis or tank suits, nobody wants to see my saggy belly skin...blah blah blah.

Well! I'm quite surprised to say that, when we go to the beach in a few days, I might actually wear that bikini out of the beach house and onto the beach. And this is not just because my body has become thinner, trimmer and more muscly in the past 40 days - that's part of it, but only part. My skin is still wrinkly, my stretch marks are still visible, and I doubt that those things will ever change. What HAS changed, however, is my mindset. I look good, I feel AMAZING, and I just don't care anymore what other people think. Like Royce, I'm ready to step into my superhero costume and work against the opposition by engaging in positive actions. Plus, those little wrinkles could use some SUN! Can I get an AMEN??

I'll leave you with an image of yesterday's morning snack:
From the bush to my mouth. YUM. All in all, the four of us picked 9 lbs of blueberries. Might have to dig up Elena's PCP pancake recipe for breakfast tomorrow!

XOXO

Day 37: Jumping Thru (Mental) Hoops

2010-08-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing:

I think I've created a mental block in regards to the way I jump rope. I've always kept track of my jumps by sets of 100 - putting a small rock (14 of them now) into a pile until there aren't any left. By now, I feel that I should have the stamina to jump more than 100x in a row (tripping notwithstanding). And I have - 165 or so is my record, I think. But mostly, I can't seem to just...keep...jumping. Whenever I get to 100 - 120 jumps from wherever I began, I stop - to catch my breath, because my arms/legs are aching, because I don't believe I can jump anymore without stopping first. And then it's at least a minute of recovery before I get back on the horse. 1400 jumps has taken me exactly 20 minutes the last 2 days. This feels a little long, no?

It's a mental thing, I'm convinced. So what can I do to bust through this block? Maybe I should use the timer on my watch that I use during exercises and only give myself 20 secs of rest whenever I stop? Or is what I'm doing fine for now and I should just (as Patrick says) CHILLAX??

Even with the 20 min jumping, I finished the workout today (a long, hard one) in exactly one hour. So that feels pretty good.

Oh, and the minute we lost our dinner bananas, I went to the store and bought the BIGGEST apples I could find: Crispins - tart, juicy and delicious. And HUGE. With an emphasis on ENORMOUS. They are good. That is all. :)

XOXO

Ed: Now I'm curious - how do you guys keep track of all of these hundreds of jumps? What's your counting mechanism?

Day 35: The Incredible Shrinking Dinner

2010-08-04T19:27:00.001-07:00

Just opened the email with our new diets for the week...ugh. I can't believe I lost my dinner banana!! (Ha - never thought I'd write that particular sentence.)

Instead of feeling "cleaner and lighter" like Patrick assured us we would with fruit dinners, I've been feeling a mixture of gassy and hungry, post-dinner. After the gas subsides, I feel ravenous and the ol' veggie snack doesn't do much to alleviate the hunger. Last night I stayed up too late and ate a bunch of blueberries before finally hitting the hay. I think this is the first time I've "cheated" on the PCP diet. Tonight I'm just going to go to bed hungry, hoping that I won't notice the growly feeling in my tummy if I'm asleep ;)

On the up-side, now I finally know what a pistol squat looks like! You guys wouldn't believe what I've been picturing in my head this whole time...!!!

Gotta get to bed. 'Night, all!

XOXO

Day 34.5: Indulgence #1!

2010-08-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

So at the end of my big badass workout/hiking/climbing day last Saturday, I finally indulged. Actually, I don't think this particular indulgence merits both bold and italics. It was really more of an indulgence. Kinda "meh" all the way around. Here's why:

Since sugar and sweets are more my downfall than salty/fatty, I figured I'd head in the direction of dessert. If I had been home, I would have had scores of delicious and *high quality* treats to choose from. My best friend is an excellent baker so I'd probably just eat handfuls of her cake scraps. Or maybe some good quality dark chocolate. Point is, I'd at least be able to pronounce most of the ingredients. Yes, I admit, I am a food snob.

But there I was in Estes Park, CO - a touristy little town at the entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park. A place where one would go for outdoor adventure, not a place known for it's cuisine. The downtown strip is punctuated by ice cream/sweet shops - the kind of places that sell cotton candy, caramel corn, trays of fudge in 17 different flavors, and these bad boys:
As I mentioned before, our family has a yearly tradition of going into town for ice cream at least once during our vacation together. We are still trying to figure out which of these shops has better ice cream. Each year, we're left somewhat disappointed by the quality or the taste - the adults, that is - the kids, not so much!

Still, ice cream is ice cream - can't be so bad, right? We ended up at a busy shop, trying to wrangle the kids and their orders without anyone dropping his cone on the floor...so I barely had time to think about what flavor I wanted. Got Mocha Almond Fudge in a sugar cone:
It was ok - tasted good, nice mocha flavor with some chocolate and almonds swirled in. The texture, though, kinda grossed me out. Instead of being thick and creamy, it was grainy and icy. The cone was the best part. Nope, scratch that - the company was the best part:
That's me and my brother Tim and the four cousins: Ben, Milo, Stella and Sam. The kids were pretty psyched with their Bubblegum and Cotton Candy cones, as you can see.

As far as the effects of the ice cream, I gotta say it wasn't too dramatic. I just got a slight bellyache for a coupla hours - it was gone before I went to bed. No noticeable shift in energy level, up or down. Overall, I felt like I could have skipped this indulgence...I wasn't really craving anything in particular, especially given the choices I had in front of me. I would have been just as fine not eating the ice cream - better off, for sure, from a physical standpoint. But even mentally, it was kinda like, eh, I could take it or leave it. I took it because it was required, not because I was super psyched to be allowed to go off-diet. I do think the excitement level would have been a little higher if I were able to eat some of the treats I prefer. Grace, I think a couple of your Peanut Butter Bombs would have done the trick quite nicely!

Anyhoo, I think we'll get more of a meal-sized indulgence next time? Now that is something I can get behind!

Day 34: Vacation Adventures, Pt. 2

2010-08-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm back, back at home in NY, back to some semblance of a routine, and missing vacation somethin' terrible! I always seem to get the post-vacay blues. Instead of adventures, I've got big piles of *stuff* to deal with here at home - blah de blah blah blah. Oh well - perfect time to post about our exciting last day in CO!

Here's my day on Saturday:
1) PCP workout
2)Breakfast
3)4.5 mile hike with all 10 of us, up to the top of a moutain with 360 degree views of surrounding moutains and valleys. Not a long hike, but one that required the major parenting effort of encouraging, cajoling, and - in the end - carrying my 5 year old son to the top. Thank god I'm in good enough shape for that last part! Here's me and my offspring at the summit:
4)Quick snack and change of clothes
5)First time rock climbing on REAL ROCKS!!!

So, I've climbed up some of those fake rock walls only a handful of times. But I've recently become enamored of the idea of trying the real thing - in part because of how strong I feel in my body, thanks to the PCP. I figured, now is as good a time as ever to represent TEAM BADASSSS by attempting this feat of strength, grit and athleticism. One of the first things I asked my dad when we got to Estes Park last week was, know anyone who might want to take me rock climbing??

Turns out he did! So on Saturday afternoon, the two of us met his friend Matt (the nicest 70-something retiree, a super experienced climber/hiker/outdoorsy guy AND a master teacher of climbing) who got all the ropes/anchors/gear set up for climbing on these crazy rocks:
That's me, hanging on by a thread!! Seriously, climbing on rock (as opposed to those lovely walls with all the nice hand-holds and foot-holds) is f*$#ing HARD. Matt, being a smart man, had me try a pretty hard route to begin with and, once I went swinging away from the rock, switched me over to a slightly easier route so that I felt like I accomplished something. After that, he lowered me only part-way to the most difficult section so that I could practice some of the very helpful pointers he was giving me while getting used to the feel of shoe on rock. Then, I was able to do the more difficult route from bottom to top in a much more confident manner. Though it was still f*$#ing HARD. But also! SUPER FUN. Here's me in the hardest area above the overhang:
I mean, there's just not a lot to hang on to right there! But I did it - and then rode an adrenaline high for the rest of the day.
Awesome. Thanks, Matt! I totally owe you one. Oh, and my dad, who mostly took pictures of me sweating, straining and cursing, also got a turn on the rock. Go Dad!
Now I need to find some folks here in NY who are willing to take a newbie climber out for some fun. I'm going to make it a personal goal to go climbing at least one more time before the PCP ends. :)

And now, a preview of coming attractions! Next up will be my INDULGENCE post. Stay tuned!!

XOXO

Day 31: TEAM NAME!

2010-07-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, kidlets - I have no time to post but much to say about 1) my final day in Colorado which included a very big FIRST for me and 2) my indulgence...but you'll have to wait until Monday to find out more, since I *need* to get to bed and tomorrow is a very long travel day back to NY.

BUT - I want to put this out to my Day 31 cohort: we need a TEAM NAME!!! I get jealous every time I read "Team Sexaaay" (an awesome name, btw) because having a group identity is a very powerful thing. Group consciousness - having the sum of the parts be greater than the parts themselves - that sort of thing! So - please put your suggestions in the comments below.

Since I brought this up, my vote is for TEAM BADASS since that is how the PCP makes me feel on a daily basis!

XOXO

Day 30: Best Workout Yet

2010-07-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

Wow - one third of the PCP is behind us "day 30" kids! (Aside - we need a team name, do we not? Any ideas?? Leave 'em below!). Go us!

For this morning's workout, I took a cue from Elena and borrowed my brother's stopwatch in order to keep my rest times down to what they should be. Also used my ipod and listened to music for the first time! I actually found it harder to listen to music and jump at the same time. Definitely need some faster tunes for this portion of the workout. But the rest of the exercises were made much more efficient and intense with the addition of a stopwatch and some rockin' tunes. I was very focused on each muscle group, pushing harder than I ever have before, and reeeaaaaaallllly grunting out the last few reps. Since I didn't have to hear myself grunt, it was easier to let it all out.

And, surprise surprise: as soon as I finished my last set of v-sits, I sat up to stretch in a forward bend and suddenly I was crying. I felt this wave of emotion come over me and just went with it. The tears weren't about anything in particular, they just needed to come out. This kind of thing happens to me in yoga from time to time. When we touch places deep inside the body, energy flows and sometimes releases undigested emotions. Just part of the process.

In other news, I think today is finally the day for my indulgence! What could be a better indulgence while on vacation than...a big ol' ice cream cone? Every year on our visit to Estes Park, we head down to one of the many touristy ice cream shops and pig out. We usually take pictures of the kids - the 4 cousins - with ice cream all over their faces, so this year I'll jump right in there too.

Tonight, after the kids go to bed, my hubby and bro and sis-in-law and I are planning to go out to the local watering hole to hear the "raucous acoustic hillbilly" stylings of a band called Big Smith. My plan is to work through all that ice cream with some good ol' fashioned rump-shakin'. I hope the bod is down with that plan - will report back tomorrow!

Day 29: Mirror, Mirror on the wall

2010-07-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

So...today was the beginning of the "real" PCP, according to Patrick. Don't you all just love hearing that? Like, what have we been doing until now??? Well, in fact, it did start to feel a bit more real this morning when I had my first taste of double quad exercises, double back, double abs. After lunges plus floorjumps, I crumpled onto the ground in a big puddle - first time reaching failure in these here thighs. It felt...serious. And also, pretty great in a badass kind of way. Partly because I have really been feeling my thighs recently - like, really feeling them with my hands because I can't believe how strong they are getting.

This morning, as I was blearily getting dressed for my workout, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was caught off guard by how thin and fit I appeared. It was an unguarded moment - very different from most other times when I approach the mirror purposefully with a critical eye. This was like seeing what others probably see when they look at me - the good, not the bad. A view of love, or at least neutrality, instead of the negative fault-seeking of my own mind. Being able to see clearly not only my physical strengths but also the habits of my mind drove me strongly today during the entire "real PCP" workout. Living in and loving this body is possible - and in a context outside of my yoga practice, where negativity falls more easily to the wayside. So this morning, when I couldn't get through 30 jumps without tripping, I literally lifted my eyes to the mountains and saw myself in the mirror.

Day 27: Vacation Adventures

2010-07-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

Whew - I'm back after being offline for 4 days. Honestly? If it weren't for the PCP and wanting to stay in touch with you all, I'd spend the rest of my vacation completely offline. It's great to take a sabbatical from the digital world every so often. But - I am really glad to have the chance to catch up with all your blogs and also share a little bit about our recent adventures.

Backing up to Saturday: Early morning, Minneapolis airport, flight to Denver, take 2. In order to get a PCP breakfast at the airport, I became an honest-to-god food super spy. (Cue Mission Impossible theme song.) Poached egg, whole wheat sourdough toast and milk were easily procured at French Meadow Bakery. Vegetables? Here's where I had to use my super spy tactics. Where to find plain veggies at an airport at 6 am? In the food court, I came across a burrito joint that had "add-ons" on the menu, including spinach, avocado, and tomato. Mission accomplished! I got a huge to-to container of these items - totally fresh and delicious. "Dude," I told my husband, "I am the MASTER of this diet!"

We finally arrived in Denver Sat morning and hit the road for Fort Collins to meet up with our fabulous friends Rachel and Bernie and their kids. That same afternoon, all eight of us struck out for camping in the mountains on the northern edge of Rocky Mountain National Park. This was a total treat - 2 days of living outdoors, in a splendiforous setting, complete with streams, rivers, rocks and meadows to explore. I love camping - I grew up camping all over the country with my family - but we don't do it nearly enough. Even better than camping is camping with our friends! We all had a blast.

While we were out communing with Mother Nature, I had two days of workouts at 10,000 feet (3048 meters - is that how one measures mountain height in metric??). Experimenting with the jumprope at high altitude was...interesting. The first day, I literally couldn't jump more than 5 times in a row without tripping. I felt like my body was weighted down, like I just couldn't get my feet off the earth. I wasn't extra winded, like I expected to be, just heavy. And slow. I only eked out 900 jumps that day. And the strength exercises seemed to take twice as long as usual. On the upside, I had both Rachel and Dan (my hubby) doing some of the jumping and strength training with me...in the most spectacular setting imaginable:
That's me jumping at 10,000 feet! Kinda badass, right? Rachel took this photo (and those following) with her fancy new camera - thanks, Rach!

On the second day of high altitude workouts, the jumping was marginally easier (in part because I jumped on a dirt road instead of on the uneven turf you see above). I still felt like I was moving in super-slo-mo and did get slightly light-headed once, so I took my time and didn't push it. 1100 jumps accomplished, resistance band stuff done around a tree trunk, push-ups and v-sits attempted in midst of a fragrant mountain meadow...life is grand!
Did I mention that our friends brought their kayaks on our camping trip? As Rachel pointed out, it's great to be near the water, but it's always better to be on the water. Apparently, when kayaking, one should not be using one's arm muscles predominantly, but one's core. Once I heard that, I realized I could paddle a lot faster and easier by engaging my core. Cool, eh? Here's Dan and Milo on the lake:
On Monday, we spent the day in Fort Collins with our friends, relaxing by the pool. It was a heavenly day of kicking back and enjoying. And a little bit of adventuring too:
Getting back to sticking to the PCP while traveling, I need to give a big shout out to Rachel and Bernie (and Dan, too) for being totally supportive of my diet, for making sure I had everything I needed to eat even while camping, and for generally being great cheerleaders. This whole project is SO much easier to accomplish when I'm surrounded by people who are supportive and interested in the details of it - and who don't think I'm a dork for carrying my little scale around with me everywhere. The flip-side of this is that Rachel told me that I've inspired her to think more about how she eats, and to experiment with jumping rope. She's getting all the way to 600 jumps after only a few days! She's a great friend, a fantastic mom, a strong woman, and someone who inspires me all the time just be being who she is - so I'm just happy to do the same for her.

Today, we said goodbye to our friends and drove up the Big Thompson Canyon to Estes Park. Now we're at my parents' house, along with my brother and his family. For the next 5 days we'll be hiking, horse-back riding, exploring Rocky Mountain National Park, and - hopefully - rock climbing. I love vacation!

Hope you're having a good week, y'all. I'm hoping to have some time later to read and comment on all your recent goings on.

XOXO

Day 23: Full of surprises

2010-07-23T17:20:00.000-07:00

Writing a quick post from the Ramada at the Mall of America...in beautiful, sunny Minneapolis, MN. Which, you might notice, is not our destination. That would be beautiful, sunny Fort Collins, CO. Yep, our connecting flight was cancelled this afternoon. And all other flights to Denver were overbooked, overly stood-by, not gonna happen. So! We get a night at the Ramada and leave in the very early hours of the AM for Denver.

Not such a bad deal - we decided to take the train into the city and walk around downtown and have dinner down there. In order to do so, we had to walk through the Mall of America to get to the train. I could write an entire blog post about the Mall of America. Let's just say it would be an excellent place to do Patrick's homework re: people's body types and what food they're buying - instead of groceries, it's EVERY kind of fast food plus supposedly "healthier" mall choices like Au Bon Pain, etc. But, I digress. What I do want to blog about is what kind of food I found to eat today after my last home-prepared PCP meal was consumed (which was lunch).

So I was starving, middle of the afternoon, wishing I had my plain yogurt for afternoon "tea". Instead, I walked into the Mall of America and saw Freshens - frozen yogurt. On a big sign, they were advertising "tart" yogurt which was fat free, made from acidophilus cultures, "all natural", topped with fruit. I asked for the smallest kid-size available - just the yogurt, no fruit. The guy showed me their small cup - ha! It could have held at least 2 cups (sorry for you metric kids - still can't eyeball in grams). I asked him to put just a little bit in there (only supposed to have 80 grams). Had a bite, realized it was seriously delicious - flavor of plain yogurt, only frozen, creamy and refreshing - but also probably loaded with sugar, as it was just too good. I had a little off the top...mmm, maybe more than a little (ok, probably more than 80 grams) and threw the rest away.

For dinner, I scored! Two words: nicoise salad. Fresh greens, green beans, potatoes, tomatoes, capers, a hard boiled egg, with a nice piece of grilled salmon. Dressing on the side. Oh, the other bonus is that I had my little mini kitchen scale in my backpack, so I very surreptitiously weighed my dinner! It was a busy restaurant, and we were sitting outside, so I think I got away with it. I left the capers alone - too salty. Third score of the night was that I remembered to bring the hard boiled egg back to the hotel so I can have that for part of my breakfast tomorrow. I never dreamed I'd find such a PCP friendly dinner/breakfast option. Nicoise salad FTW!

Right now, the kids are having a blast in their adjoining hotel room (courtesy of Delta Airlines), dancing to the music on their borrowed ipods, and making "muscles" in the mirror. Wonder where they learned to do that??? I'm about to improvise the rest of my workout that I didn't have time to do before we left this morning - did the jumps and lunges. Only - my resistance band is in the suitcase which is at the airport, patiently waiting for our connecting flight in the AM. So, push-ups, leg-ups, dips, here I come.

More from the road in a few days.

Day 22: Photo Rant!

2010-07-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, folks. I just posted my photos from last week and today. Somehow, they got uploaded out of order, so the one from last week shows up on my blog. Don't know how to rearrange the order, so I guess it stays.

Actually, I'm much happier with my photos from last week vs. today. A week ago, I was pleasantly surprised at how lean my mid-section was beginning to appear. Today, however, I am shocked at how blobby and fat my belly and hips look. Blech! It seems like a step backward, frustrating because I've been working hard and sticking to the diet....oh, except. I almost forgot that I do have a confession to make!

On Tues, the last day of my yoga teacher training, I ate lunch OUT with some of my yogini friends. I had been packing all my own food for 5 days and loving that, but on the last day, I realized I didn't have much in the fridge to pack, and thought I could manage eating sushi out. I did manage pretty well - had seaweed salad and edamame, plain brown rice, and a few pieces of sashimi. However - I forgot to ask for the edamame WITHOUT salt. It was pretty salty, a shock to the system. I've been drinking lots of water to try and flush the salt out of my system, but do you think that perhaps all that salt (2 days ago) could be partly to blame for the flabby skin around my belly (water retention?)??? God, as I'm writing this, I realize it's wishful thinking. OK - rant over. I'm not going to stress about the photos anymore. I realize it's only Day 22 and the big physical changes are still a ways off. Patience, self!

In other news, I'm about to take the PCP all the way to 10,000 feet! Tomorrow we leave for 9 days in Colorado. We'll be with our dear friends in Fort Collins for 4 days (going camping for 2!), and then with my parents and my brother and his family in Estes Park for the second half of the trip. My parents retired to Estes Park - from Michigan - about 5 or 6 years ago. They are super active, outdoorsy people, so the Colorado lifestyle suits them perfectly! I'm proud of them for living out their dream and I hope that when I'm in my 60's I will be just as active and vibrant as they are.

Will keep you all posted on our Colorado adventures!

Day 21: Catching Up!

2010-07-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Hey fellow PCP'ers! Glad to return to the PCP blogosphere after some days away. I've been keeping up by reading as much as I can - you all are kicking some major butt! It's very heartening to see such transformation happening - both inside and out - in the group that's a month ahead of us, and even in our little 'three-weeks-in' cohort! Change is happening, folks! Exciting stuff.

So I have a few observations to share with y'all. First, about those workouts...

Jumping
A week or so ago, I found a good new stride in the jumping - slowing down slightly so that I wasn't gasping for breath each time I stopped. Well, I've lost that stride and have been f&*@#$% TRIPPING so much!! Not getting so winded, which is good, but the tripping is a little crazy-making. Also, by the time I get near the end of our 1000 jumps, my left shoulder is killing me. I'm taking from this that I am not jumping so efficiently. Naoko mentioned finding some ease in taking her jumps to the next level by breathing differently. This morning, I tried inhaling and exhaling strongly through my nose, instead of the panting I was doing before...which did help, especially when I found a rhythm with the breath and the jumps. But I must be doing too much with the arms if my shoulder is starting to feel strained. Any pointers? Anyone??

Strength training
Even after reading Patrick's email about working toward failure, I'm not getting there in most exercises. Incline pull-ups and anything targeting the shoulders - failure. But the lunges and squats in particular are fairly easy, less easy when I sloooowww them down, but still manageable. Biceps, triceps, abs, chest - same. Am I really not doing these exercises correctly?? I'm seeing results, feeling a slight burn, but it's definitely not a BURNING->AHHHGGHGH->FAIL situation. I'm sure I'll get to that situation eventually, as I already live in fear of all these mysterious exercises I can't even begin to picture (v-sits, pistol squats, kung-fu sit ups ?!?!). But in the meantime...??

Now on to other matters...

Sarah, meet your core. Core, meet Sarah. YOWZA! This is my favorite new development of the past 21 days. I feel so much stronger in my core, and am much more AWARE of being strong in my core. My posture is better, I'm walking around more confidently and less defensively. And, over the past 6 days, I've experienced a whole new level of core strength in my yoga practice. Especially when it comes to balancing postures. I love playing with balance anyway, but now - HOLY COWMOLY! Even if my limbs are shifting to keep the balance, my core is ROCK SOLID, and there's an ease to these postures that I've never felt before. I think Virabhadrasana III is my new favorite pose:
To me, this pose is all about joy, freedom, expansion in all directions, experiencing lightness while remaining rooted to the ground. Not to get too yogi-woo-woo on you, but...may we all experience these qualities at some point on the journey!

XOXO

Day 16: Community

2010-07-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post here before bed. Finished day 2 of my 6 day yoga training intensive. Amazingly, it hasn't been too hard to fit all the PCP stuff in - still doing the workouts in the early AM, was able to prepare lots of food on Wed before all this began. So far, so good. Also, all my yogini friends are commenting on how good I look and asking questions. I think I've told the "PCP story" at least 6 or 7 times in the past few days. :)

The best part of these trainings is being with my sangha (yoga community) again - we've been together for 2 years, learning, training and sharing LOTS with each other. There is absolutely nothing better than being with a group of people who are all walking the same path. I mention this because it is yet another reason why I was drawn to the PCP: the fact that there is a community here. Both the support and the accountability are key pieces to this experience - but I especially value the support.

That's all for now - gotta get to bed. Apologies if posting is light for the next 4 days...

Day 13.5: Health and Wellness

2010-07-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

Seems I'm double posting today - just wanted to get these thoughts down while they're fresh.

This afternoon, I visited my OB/GYN. No, I'm not pregnant (though it's kinda weird to be in a waiting room full of pregnant women again - it's been over 5 years since I was in their shoes, and I'm pretty darn sure I won't be in those shoes again). Over the last 2 years or so, I've had some re-occurring symptoms that are annoying and tiring to deal with, but not, thank god, an indication of anything serious or life-threatening. These symptoms *may* be an indication of a future thyroid condition or the start of a possible ovarian shut-down. But there is no diagnosis to be made at the point, since the symptoms disappear as often as they re-occur. None of this is brand-new news, but today's appt. just confirmed that my body may be getting ready to go through some kind of major shift - when? nobody knows - or it may not. So basically nothing has been confirmed.

Now, this situation could easily be MUCH worse and I'm very thankful that it is not. It's really just an annoyance and a question, something to obsess over every so often. But it also serves as a reminder of the tenuousness of my physical health. We all know that anything could happen to us at any time - accident, injury, sudden illness - all of these things are possibilities. Perhaps you've already dealt with overcoming some major or minor threat to your health. Perhaps you're still dealing.

Today, of course, my mind went down the path of "Even if I get into peak condition, I'm probably still going to end up with ovarian failure, a thyroid condition or something that will screw up all my hard work. I'll probably get fat, loose all my hair, and be bitter about it". Oh yes, the mind loves to play this game. BUT - here is the real deal: I refuse to play victim to some condition, real or imagined, that may or may not be happening to me. This is one of the reasons I joined y'all on this PCP journey. I am taking charge, taking control of ALL the aspects of my health and wellness that are available to me. I may not be "in control" of my health (or of anything, really), but I can still make choices, make changes that will affect my health positively. The cumulative effect of these positive choices will, I trust, only make me stronger for whatEVER is in my future.

In the meanwhile, I'm planning to kick some serious ASS!

I'm sure many of you have other, more personal reasons for doing the PCP besides getting in shape. Might as well put it out there!

XOXO

Day 13: One Step at a Time

2010-07-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to all of you on Day 90!! That is a serious accomplishment. I've been really inspired by all of your blogs and pictures. You're all part of the reason I decided to do the PCP - so, thank you!

Some recent thoughts on food:

Balsamic vinegar makes everything taste better. Seriously - I'm craving the stuff, and drizzle it on almost every lunch and dinner.
LOVING breakfast these days: a warm bowl of a cooked grain (so far, quinoa or brown rice), chunks of avocado and/or beets, topped with a fried egg (fried only because I crack it into a pan on the stove - not using any butter or oil) with a soft yolk. All mixed up with a glass of milk on the side - YUM.
My veggies have been a combination of raw and steamed. Ate kale both ways yesterday and it was almost like eating two different veggies.
Need to vary my proteins. Mostly chicken so far, either grilled or my father-in-law's famous rotisserie chicken. Bought shrimp today.
Is bread really ok? Any kind of bread? Dense and dark seems better, but I was reading labels at the store today and noticed how much sodium is in bread in general!
I bought WAY too much fruit last week. 140 grams 2x/day = not much volume, as most fruit is heavy!
I've been very hungry after breakfast (maybe because I work out first thing in the morning?), but yesterday and today, I've barely been able to finish my lunch or dinner. Feeling really full and bloated, similar to how I felt before the PCP. Not the lightness I was feeling last week.

Some recent thoughts on the workouts:

So...after reading Patrick's email re: working to muscle failure and keeping to the short rest time between sets...I had a very different workout this morning. For one thing, I finished everything in 45 mins as opposed to 60! For another, I pushed my muscles harder today than ever before.
Looking closely at the pictures, I think I figured out the secret to a better DaVinci and front shoulder raise - keeping the elbows slightly bent. This really brings the burn into the shoulders instead of the wrists/elbows. Patrick - is this correct?

Other stuff: I'm about to face my first big challenge in time management on the PCP. My final 6 day intensive for my 500 hour yoga teacher training starts on Thurs. I'm feeling a lot of trepidation about fitting everything in. We meet from 9-7, all other waking hours are usually spent taking care of kids. I can get up early enough to do the morning workouts, but I'm worried about food shopping and prep. With all the fresh foods we're eating, I can't really buy a week's worth at a time. So will have to fit that in at least once. Also, these trainings are tiring, so I hope I have enough stamina to make it through.

But...life becomes less overwhelming if I just take it one step at a time. One day, one moment, one meal at a time. :)

Day 11: Morning in VT with Clyde

2010-07-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

Oh so lovely and cool out this morning! During my 7am jumping session, I got to look out into this:
Did my workout, pushed through the maximum reps for each set, took my time since, hey, we're in VT! By the time I was done, the view was this:
Got the dog out for his morning workout session - he did ok, only complained a little during the third set of forward shoulder raises. :)
You know how I know he's my dog? We look alike, especially after a good, hard workout:
He's just a little longer in the tongue.

Day 10: Slow and Steady

2010-07-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

Writing this from Manchester, VT. Hi Will! We're staying at my in-law's condo for the weekend. It's nice here, weather has finally cooled down. This morning I did my jumps in the rain - well, on the driveway underneath the deck, so I was partially protected. Fun to have little cool drops falling on me, instead of suffocating in the heat and humidity. Also had a great view of the foggy mountains to keep me going.

Today, I feel like I really hit my stride with the jumps. I'm jumping efficiently, not waving my arms around too much, not working too hard, keeping my breath nice and even. Tripping? Oh yes, lots of that. I don't let it frustrate me, I just pick up where I left off. Every one hundred jumps, I find a stick or a little stone and place it nearby to keep track of the sets. Jumping has become a welcome ritual in my day, something I look forward to when I wake up.

And I'm starting to see a change in my body after only 10 days! My pants are a little looser, I have lost a few pounds, I definitely feel stronger. Anyone else feeling a little shift going on? Makes me that much more motivated to rock the workouts and keep the diet going strong!

After my workout this morning, my husband and son and I took the dog out to romp on the big wet grassy field in front of the house. Wish I had taken a picture - it was raining just a smidge, I was barefoot, Milo was in his pj's and we were taking turns throwing the tennis ball for Clyde. Another awesome ritual to start the day. :)

Here's a gratuitous shot of Clyde (foreground) with his lady friend Ariel. Look at that face!

Day 8: Today is the first day...

2010-07-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

...of the rest of my life! I kid you not, that was my first thought upon waking this morning. How cheeeeesy is that? This, after tossing and turning all night with anxiety about the changes in diet and workout (holy crap!) waiting for me in the AM?!?

Well, as it turn out, my positive-in-spite-of-myself thoughts made for a breakthrough workout session today! But more on that later. We've had some wonderful guests staying with us for a few days, which is why I haven't posted. In the meantime, there's been lots of PCP activity around here, so let's go back to yesterday (Day 7) for the recap, shall we?

Day 7: The Last of the Halfsies

The day began with ye old 500 jumps. This took me a while. I wasn't rushing because I knew that was it for the day - no strength training. But what took me a while was trying to recover enough to finish a set of 100 whenever I tripped. I was so winded and wobbly after the first 2 sets! But I persevered and got it done.

Then, on our last day of the half-diet, I decided to take Patrick's advice and eat all my favorite foods, without worrying if it was PCP-worthy and healthy or not. Here is what I had for lunch:

Just look at that yumminess, cut so perfectly in half! Portobello, avocado, eggplant tempura, roasted red peppers, fresh mozzarella, and other various delights, with a side of house-made dijon. This is from my favorite coffee shop in all the land: Antoinette's.
Where's that other half?? In my bell-ay! The remainder is being eaten by my husband for lunch today :)

Dinner last night was half a farmer's market hamburger, a few pieces of grilled zucchini, and half a portion of my favorite arugula/quinoa/goat cheese/avo/blueberry salad:
I actually took a big portion of the salad, intending to eat it all, but found I was full after eating half! Also had half a Dogfish Head 60 minute IPA. Our guests, with some help from the kids, had made homemade chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches for dessert:
Alas, they weren't frozen enough to eat after dinner. So I just had half of one cookie. Nothin' wrong with homemade chocolate chip cookies!

Then, I read Patrick's lengthy Day 8 email, with all of the diet info and the week's monster workouts, hyperventilated for a few moments, and went to bed.

Which brings us to this morning! I got up extra early because I was worried about fitting in all the new exercises before getting the kids off to camp. Walked outside into air so thick and wet you could drink it through a straw - bah, humidity! Before I started my 600(!) jumps, I thought about slowing the jumping down a bit so I wasn't gasping for breath every time I stopped. Let me tell ya, that made a HUGE difference in my jumping today! HUGE! I felt like I was floating through the jumps, just breezing right along - even though I was tripping a LOT more. But the tripping didn't matter - I was able to start up right where I left off without having to catch my breath. So the 600 jumps went by much more quickly than the day before. It felt magical!

The rest of the exercises - new ones included - were fine. Honestly, my kids were up, our guests were getting ready to leave, it was kinda chaotic in the house while I was doing the last of the exercises. So it was a bit hard to focus on how they felt. The best part is that push-ups are getting much more do-able. The biggest hurdle is not having a bar for the incline pull-ups. I used our dining room table, which will do for now, but isn't ideal.

After everyone else had been fed, I was able to get out my little kitchen scale and figure out my own breakfast. I have to say, I'm psyched with the weighing. It's fun! Kinda like performing little science experiments before each meal. Without having gone shopping for lots of fresh foods, here's what I came up with for my very first, officially sanctioned, PCP Proper meal:
That's left-over quinoa, a scrambled egg, and avocado. Pretty good! Glad I had my bases covered with what I had in the house...though, what's the deal with avocados? I think of them as a vegetable, but since they have a pit, are they technically fruit?? Regardless, they are my favorite food and I eat them whenever possible. :)

Next, I went shopping:
It all looked so pretty when I was unpacking and putting stuff away, that I had to take a photo. Happy eating, everyone! Hope you all feel as good on Day 8 (or whatever day you're on) as I do!

Day 5: Holidaze

2010-07-05T18:56:00.001-07:00

Like many of you, I experienced my first social eating challenges this weekend. Yesterday, we had a BBQ with some good friends from Boston who we don't see much...but when we do, we have fun preparing and eating lots of yummy food. It was a day of grazing here, picking there, and then trying to figure out a half portion of all the glorious foods on the buffet. I think I did OK, eating less than I normally would, but probably a little more than half overall. I decided to stick with water instead of alcohol all weekend - which is a big switch for me. Booze just wasn't calling my name, perhaps because I'd already told myself, "It's time to make some changes around here!"

Interestingly, I didn't have such a major energy crash yesterday. Perhaps because I ate a little more than the previous days? Not sure. Today we had a bit more of a normal day and I really stuck to the half diet - and again, HAD to nap around 4 pm.

Still loving the morning workouts! This morning I thought, I'm so glad I'm doing this project. I've also loved reading all your posts - keep up the good work, y'all!

Day 4: Crash Course

2010-07-04T05:45:00.000-07:00

I'm loving the workouts first thing in the morning. I definitely feel more energized and productive afterward. Jumping feels more fluid, less of a shock to the system. Overall, the workouts feel very do-able so far. I'm sore, but not painfully so. Each morning, I find myself resisting the urge to do more sets, to push myself (as is my usual habit), as I'm sure the challenges are right around the corner. :)

However, for the last 2 days, I've experienced a serious crash in energy in the late afternoon. Around 4 pm or so, I NEED to lie down. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. And I haven't been able to rally up some more energy until the kids' bedtime. What is happening here? I wonder if this is a normal response to increased exercise and change in diet? Or if this, plus the bruises all over my legs, means I'm anemic? Is anyone else experiencing a crash like this?

Day 2: Lunge Love

2010-07-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

Couple of things to report this morning:

Woke up early to do the workout - before the kids got up.
My husband joined me instead of going to the gym. We did our jumps and lunges together outside (it's lovely and cool here at 6:15 am!) and the rest indoors.
It's really nice to have a partner to work out with.
Today, I LOVED the lunges. They just felt so good! I could really feel my thighs, hips and buttocks working - all areas that need some targeted attention :)
Push-ups are very challenging for me, and the leg-ups are easy. For Dan, it is the exact opposite. Interesting!
After getting everyone ready and out the door, I walked with my son up the hill and through the woods to the elementary school where his camp program meets. It's not a far walk and one that we could do together MUCH more often, but because I'm often running late, we usually just jump in the car. My hope is that this summer we will all WALK MORE!

That's it for now. Cheers, everyone!

Day 1: Starting Point

2010-07-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

Well, let's see. On Day 1, I'm grateful that we're starting slow and ramping up over time! Doing my very first jumps (ever), I quickly realized how weird and hard this rope jumping stuff feels in my body. I'm so not used to doing cardio (did I really just admit this publicly?) that I couldn't even figure out how to breathe efficiently. Good thing I have 89 more days to explore this unknown realm.

The rest of the exercises went fine, felt good, etc. Still grateful for the relatively easy routine!

As for the eating half situation, it's kind of confusing and yes, I felt hungry at different times throughout the day. The confusion for me is that my normal eating is so scattered and piecemeal - grabbing something here or there, or forgetting to eat until I'm ravenous - that I rarely sit down to a full meal. So deciding what constitutes a "half-portion" is not very clear. I will say that each time I put something in my mouth today, I thought about it first, instead of merely inhaling it.

In this Day 1 post, I want to include my stats so that I can look back later and gloat :)

Weight: 117 lbs / 53 kg
Body fat %: 24.3
Chest: 32.5 in / 82.5 cm
Waist: 29.5 in / 75 cm
Hips: 38 in / 96.5 cm

Happy Day 1, everybody!

The Last Hurrah!

2010-06-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering how many of you are spending your last few pre-PCP days/hours totally indulging, like I am. Last night, my husband and I had a great dinner out to celebrate our anniversary - and, in my head at least, to mark my "last meal" before embarking on the PCP.

First, drinks at the Standard Hotel in NYC:

Followed by dinner at Spice Market - a Jean Georges restaurant with a menu inspired by Asian street food. Holy deliciousness, Batman! We opted for the chef's tasting menu which included raw tuna, a sushi-like lobster roll and deep-fried samosas for apps; amazing cod, a spicy chicken dish, and ginger fried rice for entrees; a fruit/yogurt pudding thing and a dense chocolate Ovaltine concoction for dessert. I'd try to describe some of these dishes in more detail, but we also shared a pitcher of ginger margaritas...so I'm a little fuzzy on the details. Oh, I almost forgot my favorite of the appetizers: 4 little beef hamburger things, cooked rare and served on skewers, with the best spicy dipping sauce I've ever had. So, so good.

Here's the cod entree:

You can also see the ginger margaritas in that picture - honestly, one of the highlights of the meal. Tequila, I will miss you! XOXO

I'm sure I will be drooling over this post in the months to come - and will probably kick myself for posting those photos - but I am really glad we had a reason to celebrate in such style before I start subtracting foods and booze from my life. It was just lovely to enjoy it all, with no guilt, with my husband, on our anniversary:

Tomorrow, the ass-kicking begins! Good luck, y'all!

Aw Yeah

2010-06-28T22:11:00.001-07:00

Sarah's going to rock the PCP, right here!