I've been having some pain in my left shoulder - it gets pretty intense about halfway into my jumps and has almost caused me to knock off early a few times. Strangely, it hasn't bothered me as much while doing actual shoulder exercises. Except - I was watching myself do front shoulder raises yesterday and noticed that I was pulling up on my left shoulder while raising my arm, maybe to compensate for the fact that it's been hurting or is weaker than my right? Anyway - the pain was particularly bad this morning, so I went to see the chiropractor this afternoon.
He concurred that my left shoulder is much tighter than my right and could tell that I've been pulling it up and forward too much. He encouraged me to keep watching my form - which, duh. He also worked my shoulder/spine/chest/neck and it does feel a bit looser now. Hopefully I can tell a difference while jumping in the morning.
If I had one criticism of the PCP, it would be this: I dearly wish I could have done at least ONE workout with someone - Patrick ideally, or someone, anyone who could check my form and work out any kinks. Someone who could also push me to the outer limits, the way that Naoko or others who have worked face-to-face with Patrick have been pushed. Patrick, you should really think about cloning yourself so that there are at least a few of you spread out over the globe. :) Anyone who's ever been in a great class or private session with a knowledgeable teacher understands - there is no substitute for hands-on assistance. That is the only thing missing for me. Instead, I STILL - 75 days in - study those tiny pictures on our workout sheets, making sure, to the best of my ability, that my form emulates the illustrations. I guess I'm just a form-junkie, always looking for that next assist!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Day 75: Low to High, All in One Day
First, a little story. Yesterday I woke up on the late side after having gone to bed super early. Tired, sore of body, emotionally...kinda spent. Feeling like I was hitting another wall with PCP, overwhelmed by the craziness of our fall schedule, off-balance from many things demanding my attention, worried about annoying health issues popping up again. Basically, poor me!
Got a very late start on morning jumps - and was totally hating every moment. Body was tired, legs were sore, left shoulder KILLING me. Got so frustrated that I burst into tears near the end. This, plus a late start, meant that I wasn't able to do the rest of the workout - had no choice but to carry on with the day, take Milo to hockey, get myself in a better frame of mind. Busy afternooon - and with friends coming over for dinner, I had to squeeze in my workout just before they arrived. By this time, my body was feeling better, my mind was calmer, and I just did what I needed to do. Reached failure on all the shoulder exercises, totally rocked it out on all those v-sits - a MUCH better experience than the morning.
Had a fun dinner with our friends - and an almost totally PCP-friendly dinner, I might add! My mood had improved so much throughout the day that my husband noticed and commented on it. This entire day was another reminder to me about how quickly things change. Even from the depths of my bad mood, there was nothing major that happened to snap me out of it, just a continual, almost imperceptible slow climb upward. Like Patrick said in a recent email - there is something to the endorphin rush of regular exercise. In the morning, I felt so blue - if it weren't for the PCP, I would have stayed in bed, in a crappy mood, ate junk and just perpetuated that bad mood. Might have even led to a mini-depression. But because the workout had to get done one way or another - and, because there was GOOD FOOD to be eaten instead of junk - I was able to re-establish an equilibrium much more quickly than before. Whew!
Which brings me to the very best part of yesterday - the part that still has me completely and utterly elated. Last night, my friend Sara called (the same Sara who we shared a house with on Fire Island) to tell me that she is seriously thinking about doing the PCP!!!!!!!!!!!!! And starting in TWO DAYS!! This was a total surprise, in the best possible way. I seriously thought that she had been thinking I was a total nut-job for getting myself involved in this project, when in fact she has been thinking about getting HERSELF into peak condition! I could not be happier for her or more proud - GO SARA!!! HUGE shout-out to you for taking this step!!
OK - changing the subject now to a completely distasteful topic. I've been swilling raw egg mixed with milk every day for a week or so now. I've also experienced an unfortunate uptick in HORRIFYING gas. I almost can't stand to be around myself, not to mention those poor folks in my physical vacinity. It's the raw eggs, right?? Also, I've had the runs (sorry!) for the past few days - strange, after being so completely regular for months now. Maybe I need to start cooking the eggs again? My tummy isn't upset, there's just way to much nasty output. Help??
More to come re: a VERY EXCITING and HUGE new purchase, to be revealed in a future post. :)
Have a great day, PCP kids!
Got a very late start on morning jumps - and was totally hating every moment. Body was tired, legs were sore, left shoulder KILLING me. Got so frustrated that I burst into tears near the end. This, plus a late start, meant that I wasn't able to do the rest of the workout - had no choice but to carry on with the day, take Milo to hockey, get myself in a better frame of mind. Busy afternooon - and with friends coming over for dinner, I had to squeeze in my workout just before they arrived. By this time, my body was feeling better, my mind was calmer, and I just did what I needed to do. Reached failure on all the shoulder exercises, totally rocked it out on all those v-sits - a MUCH better experience than the morning.
Had a fun dinner with our friends - and an almost totally PCP-friendly dinner, I might add! My mood had improved so much throughout the day that my husband noticed and commented on it. This entire day was another reminder to me about how quickly things change. Even from the depths of my bad mood, there was nothing major that happened to snap me out of it, just a continual, almost imperceptible slow climb upward. Like Patrick said in a recent email - there is something to the endorphin rush of regular exercise. In the morning, I felt so blue - if it weren't for the PCP, I would have stayed in bed, in a crappy mood, ate junk and just perpetuated that bad mood. Might have even led to a mini-depression. But because the workout had to get done one way or another - and, because there was GOOD FOOD to be eaten instead of junk - I was able to re-establish an equilibrium much more quickly than before. Whew!
Which brings me to the very best part of yesterday - the part that still has me completely and utterly elated. Last night, my friend Sara called (the same Sara who we shared a house with on Fire Island) to tell me that she is seriously thinking about doing the PCP!!!!!!!!!!!!! And starting in TWO DAYS!! This was a total surprise, in the best possible way. I seriously thought that she had been thinking I was a total nut-job for getting myself involved in this project, when in fact she has been thinking about getting HERSELF into peak condition! I could not be happier for her or more proud - GO SARA!!! HUGE shout-out to you for taking this step!!
OK - changing the subject now to a completely distasteful topic. I've been swilling raw egg mixed with milk every day for a week or so now. I've also experienced an unfortunate uptick in HORRIFYING gas. I almost can't stand to be around myself, not to mention those poor folks in my physical vacinity. It's the raw eggs, right?? Also, I've had the runs (sorry!) for the past few days - strange, after being so completely regular for months now. Maybe I need to start cooking the eggs again? My tummy isn't upset, there's just way to much nasty output. Help??
More to come re: a VERY EXCITING and HUGE new purchase, to be revealed in a future post. :)
Have a great day, PCP kids!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day 71: In Which I Psychoanalyze Myself
This morning, I looked at the exercise sheet and laughed. "Davincis - 5 sets x failure". HA! Thanks, Patrick, for getting right to the point. No more pussy-footing around this whole "failure" scenario! Message received - just DO it already.
This, plus Patrick's most recent blog post, is making me think. I'm starting to understand the whole "art of laziness" thing. Why not work super hard in order to get to failure SOONER? Why take extra rest time just so you can do extra reps/sets? What a waste of time!
This way of approaching the workouts sounds really good in theory - in practice, I'm just beginning to get it. It's so opposite of my usual response, which has two components:
First, like many people, I tend to have a true panic response when faced with physical pain/challenge/difficulty. When stuff starts to hurt, my mind goes "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" and I panic and bail out. Granted, I've worked with this panic response quite a bit in my yoga practice. The Kripalu tradition has this thing called "Stage 2" where a strong pose like Setu Bhandasana (bridge) or Utkatasana (chair pose) is held for quite a while (a few minutes in some cases) so that the practitioner can literally "ride the wave" of physical, mental, and emotional responses to sensation, noticing what comes up. Undoubtedly, the initial reaction, after the first few breaths, is "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" Or at least it used to be, for me. Now, I can watch that reaction, see that it's just what my mind likes to say, come back to my breath and focus on the sensation itself, breathe into it and watch it change. Also, trust that I won't die. This type of thing has come in handy with the planks - sustaining a pose feels familiar now, doesn't make me fear death.
The repetitive exercises, on the other hand, all the reps and sets - THIS is something new that I've had to train myself to tolerate. There's so much more to think about in terms of form, effort, props. So when the repetitive motion starts to feel impossible, I wonder if I have the form right, if I'm DOING it wrong/right, if I "should" be stronger by now. Which brings me to the second component of my usual response...
I have a complicated relationship with authority (and who doesn't, right?). Growing up, I was surrounded by authority figures, both at home and at school. Not surprisingly, I developed into quite the rebel. I still have a strong independent streak, as those who live with me or who are close to me will tell you. But I also have an ingrained tendency to rely on outside authority in certain areas where I might be better served by trusting myself. What do the "experts" think I should be doing?? How would YOU do this?? That kind of thing.
How does all of this relate to the PCP? Well, if it's not already obvious, I've been very happy to place my general health in the hands of Patrick and Chen - the experts - over this 90 day period. I love the grams - there's just enough flexibility in what to eat, but no guessing required in how much to eat. And, as much as I find the workouts both exhilarating and torturous, it's the reps/sets that are my real training ground right now. Being told what exercises to do and how many, each day, has been a total blessing - there's no way I would have worked this hard without someone TELLING ME what to do.
But then, suddenly, today presented a new challenge. The experts were no longer telling me how many Davinicis they expected of me. I couldn't even choose the max or the min! Instead, I had to pay attention to my own body, watch my reactions, and make some choices. At what point do I declare "failure"? When the mind wants to quit for self-preservation purposes? Or is it possible that the body can do more than the mind says it should? I know the answer to that last one is YES. So - if I drop the counting, forget how many reps I did the last time we did Davinicis, or in the last set - then what??
What happened today was that I kept the rest times short - down to the second - and started each set with gusto, stopping only when I realized my form was being compromised, and - in the 5th set, I went until I could go no further. No idea how many reps - probably a lot less than previous times. Less because I wasn't slowing things down unconsciously in order to make sure I got to all the reps listed on the sheet. HA! I can't believe I was doing that, but I really was! I must have been wasting time, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be physically able to perform the perfect sets that the experts were expecting. No WONDER I haven't been able to get my workout down to an hour!
So, hey - it's a learning process, eh? It feels good to be at this stage of the game, learning to let my body show me how far it can go, learning to take back some power from the experts. I'm curious to see what happens to my workouts this week, if I can truly begin to embrace failure instead of merely flirting with it.
This, plus Patrick's most recent blog post, is making me think. I'm starting to understand the whole "art of laziness" thing. Why not work super hard in order to get to failure SOONER? Why take extra rest time just so you can do extra reps/sets? What a waste of time!
This way of approaching the workouts sounds really good in theory - in practice, I'm just beginning to get it. It's so opposite of my usual response, which has two components:
First, like many people, I tend to have a true panic response when faced with physical pain/challenge/difficulty. When stuff starts to hurt, my mind goes "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" and I panic and bail out. Granted, I've worked with this panic response quite a bit in my yoga practice. The Kripalu tradition has this thing called "Stage 2" where a strong pose like Setu Bhandasana (bridge) or Utkatasana (chair pose) is held for quite a while (a few minutes in some cases) so that the practitioner can literally "ride the wave" of physical, mental, and emotional responses to sensation, noticing what comes up. Undoubtedly, the initial reaction, after the first few breaths, is "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" Or at least it used to be, for me. Now, I can watch that reaction, see that it's just what my mind likes to say, come back to my breath and focus on the sensation itself, breathe into it and watch it change. Also, trust that I won't die. This type of thing has come in handy with the planks - sustaining a pose feels familiar now, doesn't make me fear death.
The repetitive exercises, on the other hand, all the reps and sets - THIS is something new that I've had to train myself to tolerate. There's so much more to think about in terms of form, effort, props. So when the repetitive motion starts to feel impossible, I wonder if I have the form right, if I'm DOING it wrong/right, if I "should" be stronger by now. Which brings me to the second component of my usual response...
I have a complicated relationship with authority (and who doesn't, right?). Growing up, I was surrounded by authority figures, both at home and at school. Not surprisingly, I developed into quite the rebel. I still have a strong independent streak, as those who live with me or who are close to me will tell you. But I also have an ingrained tendency to rely on outside authority in certain areas where I might be better served by trusting myself. What do the "experts" think I should be doing?? How would YOU do this?? That kind of thing.
How does all of this relate to the PCP? Well, if it's not already obvious, I've been very happy to place my general health in the hands of Patrick and Chen - the experts - over this 90 day period. I love the grams - there's just enough flexibility in what to eat, but no guessing required in how much to eat. And, as much as I find the workouts both exhilarating and torturous, it's the reps/sets that are my real training ground right now. Being told what exercises to do and how many, each day, has been a total blessing - there's no way I would have worked this hard without someone TELLING ME what to do.
But then, suddenly, today presented a new challenge. The experts were no longer telling me how many Davinicis they expected of me. I couldn't even choose the max or the min! Instead, I had to pay attention to my own body, watch my reactions, and make some choices. At what point do I declare "failure"? When the mind wants to quit for self-preservation purposes? Or is it possible that the body can do more than the mind says it should? I know the answer to that last one is YES. So - if I drop the counting, forget how many reps I did the last time we did Davinicis, or in the last set - then what??
What happened today was that I kept the rest times short - down to the second - and started each set with gusto, stopping only when I realized my form was being compromised, and - in the 5th set, I went until I could go no further. No idea how many reps - probably a lot less than previous times. Less because I wasn't slowing things down unconsciously in order to make sure I got to all the reps listed on the sheet. HA! I can't believe I was doing that, but I really was! I must have been wasting time, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be physically able to perform the perfect sets that the experts were expecting. No WONDER I haven't been able to get my workout down to an hour!
So, hey - it's a learning process, eh? It feels good to be at this stage of the game, learning to let my body show me how far it can go, learning to take back some power from the experts. I'm curious to see what happens to my workouts this week, if I can truly begin to embrace failure instead of merely flirting with it.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Day 69: The Devil's in the Details
Well, I feel like an idiot! Just found out that, all this time, I've been doing some of the exercises wrong. Rowing never made sense to me - I just couldn't really feel it in my back. So I finally asked Patrick about it, and yup, I've been anchoring the band a bit too high. High enough that I was pulling down and back, instead of back and up. So tonight I set the band lower and pulled back and up - what a difference!! Also, the lawnmower - I think my form has been off and I've been pulling back too much with my core, not isolating in the shoulderblade area. Hmphh! No wonder my back is less developed than the rest of me.
Speaking of details, I learned something cool about planks the other day. Decided to venture over to the power yoga studio and check out the scene. I went with a friend and took a class with a wonderful teacher named Freddie who had a ton of great alignment details to share. It was actually more like a strengthening workout than a traditional yoga class - something that would have bothered me months ago, but as a PCP'er, it was cool to see how strong I've become...and to learn some new tricks. So let's see if I can describe this accurately.
Come into plank on your forearms. First of all, make sure that your butt is in line with the rest of your body. If you find that you're holding your butt too high, lower it, making one long line from your heels to the crown of your head. Next, press strongly into your elbows as you spread the shoulderblades away from one another, rounding slightly in your upper back. Feel how this causes the obliques to engage. Now, pull the abdominals in strongly as you round the lower back as much as you can without losing the long line of your body. Last, begin to pull your elbows and your toes toward one another. Notice how you feel!
This experience was noticeably different for me than what I had been doing up until then, which was kinda "hanging out" in plank. I put my body in the form of the pose and used my breath to focus and sustain me until the allotted time was up. But THIS plank, where I was purposefully engaging every muscle in my body - WOWSA! It was much more challenging, for sure, but it also gave me the feeling of being made of steel - totally solid, hard as a rock. Also, vibrating with energy! Even in the yoga class, we held this for a nice long time. Probably not 90 seconds or anything, but even so - I was like, holy cow, Freddie - have you studied with Patrick??
The next day, we had 5x90 second planks on our list, so I did this hard-body plank. And failed out on the last two!! Success! I mean, failure! COOL.
Speaking of details, I learned something cool about planks the other day. Decided to venture over to the power yoga studio and check out the scene. I went with a friend and took a class with a wonderful teacher named Freddie who had a ton of great alignment details to share. It was actually more like a strengthening workout than a traditional yoga class - something that would have bothered me months ago, but as a PCP'er, it was cool to see how strong I've become...and to learn some new tricks. So let's see if I can describe this accurately.
Come into plank on your forearms. First of all, make sure that your butt is in line with the rest of your body. If you find that you're holding your butt too high, lower it, making one long line from your heels to the crown of your head. Next, press strongly into your elbows as you spread the shoulderblades away from one another, rounding slightly in your upper back. Feel how this causes the obliques to engage. Now, pull the abdominals in strongly as you round the lower back as much as you can without losing the long line of your body. Last, begin to pull your elbows and your toes toward one another. Notice how you feel!
This experience was noticeably different for me than what I had been doing up until then, which was kinda "hanging out" in plank. I put my body in the form of the pose and used my breath to focus and sustain me until the allotted time was up. But THIS plank, where I was purposefully engaging every muscle in my body - WOWSA! It was much more challenging, for sure, but it also gave me the feeling of being made of steel - totally solid, hard as a rock. Also, vibrating with energy! Even in the yoga class, we held this for a nice long time. Probably not 90 seconds or anything, but even so - I was like, holy cow, Freddie - have you studied with Patrick??
The next day, we had 5x90 second planks on our list, so I did this hard-body plank. And failed out on the last two!! Success! I mean, failure! COOL.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Day 68: The Freak Show Continues...
I guess I'm at a point with the physical development where I'm discovering lots of new, freakish things about my body. It's becoming quite funny, actually. Check it out:
What the heck is that thumbprint-sized indentation between my boobs? Well, I guess that's my sternum - hello, BONES. I noticed this yesterday, which led to another freakish discovery. I can now visibly flex my pecs in the mirror. But - since my boobs have almost completely disappeared, my buffed-out pectorals bulge out of my chest more prominently than my poor, sagging bresticles. This is a sideshow-quality display for sure, but...you'll have to take my word for it. :) All I can say is, thank god for SHIRTS!
Also, here's a close up how those abs are doing:
I'm starting to see some of the upper abdominus rectus peek through, as well as the obliques and lats. And then there's the remains of my wrinkly belly fat. Sigh! It acually looks flatter in this photo than it normally appears. Hmm, maybe I should give it a name...let's see, how about Melvin? Louise - I think Melvin and Nigel are related. 2nd cousins once removed?? HA - by the end of this project I'd like to see both Melvin and Nigel COMPLETELY removed!!
Funny story - remember my friends, Rachel and Bernie, who we camped with in Colorado in July? They came to NYC this weekend so we got to hang out. They both commented on how different I look since we saw each other a month ago - which, since they are such close friends, prompted me to show them all my new sideshow tricks. (Well, except the boob/pec thing - I do have SOME modesty!) I flashed them my abs and then made some comment about Melvin still hanging around. Bernie, who is a brilliant family doctor, said, "Dude, I'm sorry to tell you, but the only way to get rid of that completely is to have surgery."
WELL, Dr. Birnbaum! I take your comment as a personal challenge. Even if it takes me more that 90 days - even if it takes me double that - I WILL eradicate Melvin! And I will do it without surgery. You've laid down the gauntlet, so I now have no choice but to use every tool in my arsenal. 8 Minute Abs every day for the last 22 days of this sucker - BRING IT! There - now I've said it. Now I have to do it!
In other badass news, I ate a raw egg this morning! Just whipped it and tossed it in a big glass of milk, sprinkled in a little cinnamon, and down the hatch. I felt just like Rocky Balboa. YUM.
Tomorrow, first day of school for the kiddos! Milo is starting kindergarten, Stella's psyched for 2nd grade. Can't believe summer's over!!!
What the heck is that thumbprint-sized indentation between my boobs? Well, I guess that's my sternum - hello, BONES. I noticed this yesterday, which led to another freakish discovery. I can now visibly flex my pecs in the mirror. But - since my boobs have almost completely disappeared, my buffed-out pectorals bulge out of my chest more prominently than my poor, sagging bresticles. This is a sideshow-quality display for sure, but...you'll have to take my word for it. :) All I can say is, thank god for SHIRTS!Also, here's a close up how those abs are doing:
I'm starting to see some of the upper abdominus rectus peek through, as well as the obliques and lats. And then there's the remains of my wrinkly belly fat. Sigh! It acually looks flatter in this photo than it normally appears. Hmm, maybe I should give it a name...let's see, how about Melvin? Louise - I think Melvin and Nigel are related. 2nd cousins once removed?? HA - by the end of this project I'd like to see both Melvin and Nigel COMPLETELY removed!!Funny story - remember my friends, Rachel and Bernie, who we camped with in Colorado in July? They came to NYC this weekend so we got to hang out. They both commented on how different I look since we saw each other a month ago - which, since they are such close friends, prompted me to show them all my new sideshow tricks. (Well, except the boob/pec thing - I do have SOME modesty!) I flashed them my abs and then made some comment about Melvin still hanging around. Bernie, who is a brilliant family doctor, said, "Dude, I'm sorry to tell you, but the only way to get rid of that completely is to have surgery."
WELL, Dr. Birnbaum! I take your comment as a personal challenge. Even if it takes me more that 90 days - even if it takes me double that - I WILL eradicate Melvin! And I will do it without surgery. You've laid down the gauntlet, so I now have no choice but to use every tool in my arsenal. 8 Minute Abs every day for the last 22 days of this sucker - BRING IT! There - now I've said it. Now I have to do it!
In other badass news, I ate a raw egg this morning! Just whipped it and tossed it in a big glass of milk, sprinkled in a little cinnamon, and down the hatch. I felt just like Rocky Balboa. YUM.
Tomorrow, first day of school for the kiddos! Milo is starting kindergarten, Stella's psyched for 2nd grade. Can't believe summer's over!!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Day 65: Things are Dropping, For Better and Worse
Right before I started PCP, I bought a fancy new scale that tells me not only my weight, but also body fat %. I've been checking the scale randomly for my weight since we started. Haven't had a huge drop in lbs, no biggie. But yesterday I decided to check the body fat % for the first time. The stats:
Day 1, weight 117 lbs, body fat 24.3%
Day 64, weight 110 lbs, body fat 18.8%
So that's a 5.5% drop. Pretty respectable, eh? I'm happy to see the change in numbers that I've been feeling in my body. New muscles, less fat, yay!
However, and this may be TMI, I've also been experiencing a concurrent drop in sex drive. Pretty much since the beginning of this project. This is not necessarily a new issue for me - I've struggled on and off with keeping the spark alive over the years. It's probably a combination of hormones and mental/emotional blocks that seem to pop up from time to time. I do think my lack of sex drive is being exacerbated by the PCP. When I commit to a project, I become completely focused/obsessed with it. I'm sorta all-PCP-all-the-time, to a fault. Dan, when he reads this, will definitely be nodding his head.
Not to mention all the changes I'm experiencing on a physical level. On the one hand, I'm very proud of all the progress I've made in my body. I like what I see, but even more, I love how I feel - super strong and healthier than I've probably ever been. But - here's the weird part: this new, improved body is kinda freaking me out. I'm SO not used to having these muscles. Seriously. This morning I was working out on the deck, doing bicep curls, and I decided to face the windows instead of the backyard. I watched these crazy biceps in the reflection of the window and they just didn't feel like mine. My mind went into a daydream about showing up for a yoga class at the "power yoga" studio where I rarely go (power yoga is usually not my thing) and what kind of assumptions might be made of me merely for how defined my body is becoming. Am I really ready to step out into the world as a super-fit, muscle-lady who "works out"?
I don't know - I'm just not owning it all yet. I think these conflicted feelings about my body and my appearance are affecting my ability to relax and just be myself, even with my poor husband. The flip side is that I know from past experience that once I can be honest with myself and with Dan about how I'm truly feeling, things will shift. The other day, he asked me, "Have other people on the PCP lost their sex drive?" For both of our sakes, I hope we can turn things around (though blogging it out is probably not the solution Dan had in mind... ;)
Day 1, weight 117 lbs, body fat 24.3%
Day 64, weight 110 lbs, body fat 18.8%
So that's a 5.5% drop. Pretty respectable, eh? I'm happy to see the change in numbers that I've been feeling in my body. New muscles, less fat, yay!
However, and this may be TMI, I've also been experiencing a concurrent drop in sex drive. Pretty much since the beginning of this project. This is not necessarily a new issue for me - I've struggled on and off with keeping the spark alive over the years. It's probably a combination of hormones and mental/emotional blocks that seem to pop up from time to time. I do think my lack of sex drive is being exacerbated by the PCP. When I commit to a project, I become completely focused/obsessed with it. I'm sorta all-PCP-all-the-time, to a fault. Dan, when he reads this, will definitely be nodding his head.
Not to mention all the changes I'm experiencing on a physical level. On the one hand, I'm very proud of all the progress I've made in my body. I like what I see, but even more, I love how I feel - super strong and healthier than I've probably ever been. But - here's the weird part: this new, improved body is kinda freaking me out. I'm SO not used to having these muscles. Seriously. This morning I was working out on the deck, doing bicep curls, and I decided to face the windows instead of the backyard. I watched these crazy biceps in the reflection of the window and they just didn't feel like mine. My mind went into a daydream about showing up for a yoga class at the "power yoga" studio where I rarely go (power yoga is usually not my thing) and what kind of assumptions might be made of me merely for how defined my body is becoming. Am I really ready to step out into the world as a super-fit, muscle-lady who "works out"?
I don't know - I'm just not owning it all yet. I think these conflicted feelings about my body and my appearance are affecting my ability to relax and just be myself, even with my poor husband. The flip side is that I know from past experience that once I can be honest with myself and with Dan about how I'm truly feeling, things will shift. The other day, he asked me, "Have other people on the PCP lost their sex drive?" For both of our sakes, I hope we can turn things around (though blogging it out is probably not the solution Dan had in mind... ;)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Day 63: Let's Talk About FOOD
It's been a while since I blogged about what I'm eating. I've made a couple of new discoveries in the PCP food world that have been making me VERY happy, so I thought I'd share!
First, kale chips. YUM.
Now, that might look like just a bowl of fresh kale, but in fact it's a bowl of crispy roasted kale chips - a FABULOUS replacement for any other kind of chip, if that's what you're craving. Or, you might look as this as the absolute EASIEST way to eat a big bunch of kale (possibly in one sitting!).
Here's how to make them:
1 big bunch of green or red kale - the curly kind works better than the lacinato kind
1 Tbsp (or less) olive oil
1 Tbsp (or slightly more) vinegar
Heat oven to 350. Wash kale, and while you're doing so, tear the leaves from the stems (discard stems) and tear leaves into chip-sized pieces. Dry thoroughly (salad spinner works best). Place dry kale leaves in a big bowl and add oil and vinegar. Mix it up with your hands so that all the leaves are coated in the oil/vinegar. Place in single layer on baking sheet and bake for 10ish minutes. Check on them at 8 min or so - maybe stir/flip them. Depending on how crispy you want them, keep them in a little longer. They're done when they are crispy and dark green. Take them out and eat them right off the pan! Or, keep them in an airtight container.
Bonus - when kale is roasted like this, it becomes almost weightless - so you could hypothetically eat a TON of kale chips as part of your veggie alotment. Because of the oil, I've been trying to eat them sparingly or as a PCP-ified snack. I supposed you could try to roast them without any oil - let me know how that comes out!
Next, baked tilapia. Sadly, I have no pictures of this. But I've experimented with different ways to bake this fish, and I think by now I've perfected it - at least for my tastebuds!
1 - 2 tilapia fillets
2 - 4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 lemon
cracked pepper
tiny amt. olive oil
Heat oven to 350. Brush bottom of baking dish with oil. Place fillets in dish. Rub crushed, juicy garlic onto the fillets - the more the better. Squeeze lemon over the whole thing, and sprinkle liberally with cracked pepper. Bake for 20ish minutes, until the edges of the fish start to brown and the flesh flakes in big chunks. (I realized that I had been undercooking my fish so that it came out a little too soggy - so now I err on the side of a few more minutes in the oven. It won't dry out because of all the lemon juice.) Enjoy right out of the oven - also makes good leftovers.
Hey, here's a bonafide PCP dessert: banana smoothie-cream. I think someone else (maybe Elena?) blogged about this a while ago, but MAN does it deserve a re-post! I discovered this the night we got back from Fire Island - cupboards & fridge totally bare, but hiding in the back of the freezer? Frozen bananas!
Overripe frozen bananas (PERFECT way to use up those brown ones)
Plain yogurt
Splash of milk
If you've got a fruit/yogurt snack on your diet sheet, measure out the appropriate grams of bananas & yogurt and throw 'em in the blender. Blend until smooth. Experiment with texture/thickness - if needed, toss in a splash of milk to make it a little thinner/creamier. Pour into a tall glass and FREAK OUT over how the gods are smiling on you with this delicious treat. I might even go so far as to say that this is BETTER THAN ICE CREAM.
Last but not least, a new way to prepare eggs - poached in the microwave! My friend Sara and I experimented with this on vacation. If you like poached eggs but hate the mess/time it takes to prepare them, this is definitely a quick and easy method.
Crack an egg into a mug. Add 1/3 cup water and a splash of vinegar (to help keep the egg together in the water). Place in microwave and cover with a saucer. Cook at 80% power for 1 minute. If the white still looks undercooked, cook again at 80% for intervals of 10 secs. (Requires a little experimenting with your microwave to get it just right. Biggest difference between this and a stovetop method is that microwaves cook from the inside out, so the yolk might be on the firm side.) Drain and enjoy!
As a post-script to this post, I gotta say that the PCP has completely revolutionized the way I cook! I've had a similar experience to Tara - before PCP, I cooked either from recipes (which always seemed to require special ingredients like obscure spices or oils that I didn't have in the pantry - thus, the glut of one-time-used items hanging around in the back of my pantry) or not at all. Looking back, I don't even know WHAT I was eating half the time. Frozen Trader Joe's? Crappy prepared food from our local market? Leftover food from the kids' dinner? Yes, yes and yes.
Now, like Tara, like all of you, I shop for fresh foods without worrying about how I'm going to prepare them. No recipes, no random jars of spices that I'll only use once. I buy TONS of vegetables and marvel at how quickly I go through them - and, at how many ways there are to eat them: roasted, steamed, sauteed, grilled, raw, combined or on their own. I buy fish and chicken knowing that I can prepare them in delicious ways. I have a new appreciation for simple, cooked whole grains like quinoa, brown rice - and eat them with raw veggies on salads as often as I do in warm bowls of cooked veggies.
The best part of the PCP diet for me is that I have finally become more confident in the kitchen merely because I've been forced to experiment. The mysteries of the kitchen are finally being de-mystified simply because I'm IN there all the time! I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
Also - having previously adopted bad eating habits out of pure laziness and bad planning, I now see the beauty and EASE of thinking ahead just a little bit to plan my meals. It's not nearly so hard and so time-consuming as I always assumed it would be! Planning ahead AND knowing that it really doesn't take long to whip up a batch of roasted brussell sprouts, now that I've done it so many times. This knowledge will take me FAR beyond the end of this project, that's for sure.
Happy eating, PCP comrades!
First, kale chips. YUM.
Now, that might look like just a bowl of fresh kale, but in fact it's a bowl of crispy roasted kale chips - a FABULOUS replacement for any other kind of chip, if that's what you're craving. Or, you might look as this as the absolute EASIEST way to eat a big bunch of kale (possibly in one sitting!).Here's how to make them:
1 big bunch of green or red kale - the curly kind works better than the lacinato kind
1 Tbsp (or less) olive oil
1 Tbsp (or slightly more) vinegar
Heat oven to 350. Wash kale, and while you're doing so, tear the leaves from the stems (discard stems) and tear leaves into chip-sized pieces. Dry thoroughly (salad spinner works best). Place dry kale leaves in a big bowl and add oil and vinegar. Mix it up with your hands so that all the leaves are coated in the oil/vinegar. Place in single layer on baking sheet and bake for 10ish minutes. Check on them at 8 min or so - maybe stir/flip them. Depending on how crispy you want them, keep them in a little longer. They're done when they are crispy and dark green. Take them out and eat them right off the pan! Or, keep them in an airtight container.
Bonus - when kale is roasted like this, it becomes almost weightless - so you could hypothetically eat a TON of kale chips as part of your veggie alotment. Because of the oil, I've been trying to eat them sparingly or as a PCP-ified snack. I supposed you could try to roast them without any oil - let me know how that comes out!
Next, baked tilapia. Sadly, I have no pictures of this. But I've experimented with different ways to bake this fish, and I think by now I've perfected it - at least for my tastebuds!
1 - 2 tilapia fillets
2 - 4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 lemon
cracked pepper
tiny amt. olive oil
Heat oven to 350. Brush bottom of baking dish with oil. Place fillets in dish. Rub crushed, juicy garlic onto the fillets - the more the better. Squeeze lemon over the whole thing, and sprinkle liberally with cracked pepper. Bake for 20ish minutes, until the edges of the fish start to brown and the flesh flakes in big chunks. (I realized that I had been undercooking my fish so that it came out a little too soggy - so now I err on the side of a few more minutes in the oven. It won't dry out because of all the lemon juice.) Enjoy right out of the oven - also makes good leftovers.
Hey, here's a bonafide PCP dessert: banana smoothie-cream. I think someone else (maybe Elena?) blogged about this a while ago, but MAN does it deserve a re-post! I discovered this the night we got back from Fire Island - cupboards & fridge totally bare, but hiding in the back of the freezer? Frozen bananas!
Overripe frozen bananas (PERFECT way to use up those brown ones)
Plain yogurt
Splash of milk
If you've got a fruit/yogurt snack on your diet sheet, measure out the appropriate grams of bananas & yogurt and throw 'em in the blender. Blend until smooth. Experiment with texture/thickness - if needed, toss in a splash of milk to make it a little thinner/creamier. Pour into a tall glass and FREAK OUT over how the gods are smiling on you with this delicious treat. I might even go so far as to say that this is BETTER THAN ICE CREAM.
Last but not least, a new way to prepare eggs - poached in the microwave! My friend Sara and I experimented with this on vacation. If you like poached eggs but hate the mess/time it takes to prepare them, this is definitely a quick and easy method.
Crack an egg into a mug. Add 1/3 cup water and a splash of vinegar (to help keep the egg together in the water). Place in microwave and cover with a saucer. Cook at 80% power for 1 minute. If the white still looks undercooked, cook again at 80% for intervals of 10 secs. (Requires a little experimenting with your microwave to get it just right. Biggest difference between this and a stovetop method is that microwaves cook from the inside out, so the yolk might be on the firm side.) Drain and enjoy!
As a post-script to this post, I gotta say that the PCP has completely revolutionized the way I cook! I've had a similar experience to Tara - before PCP, I cooked either from recipes (which always seemed to require special ingredients like obscure spices or oils that I didn't have in the pantry - thus, the glut of one-time-used items hanging around in the back of my pantry) or not at all. Looking back, I don't even know WHAT I was eating half the time. Frozen Trader Joe's? Crappy prepared food from our local market? Leftover food from the kids' dinner? Yes, yes and yes.
Now, like Tara, like all of you, I shop for fresh foods without worrying about how I'm going to prepare them. No recipes, no random jars of spices that I'll only use once. I buy TONS of vegetables and marvel at how quickly I go through them - and, at how many ways there are to eat them: roasted, steamed, sauteed, grilled, raw, combined or on their own. I buy fish and chicken knowing that I can prepare them in delicious ways. I have a new appreciation for simple, cooked whole grains like quinoa, brown rice - and eat them with raw veggies on salads as often as I do in warm bowls of cooked veggies.
The best part of the PCP diet for me is that I have finally become more confident in the kitchen merely because I've been forced to experiment. The mysteries of the kitchen are finally being de-mystified simply because I'm IN there all the time! I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
Also - having previously adopted bad eating habits out of pure laziness and bad planning, I now see the beauty and EASE of thinking ahead just a little bit to plan my meals. It's not nearly so hard and so time-consuming as I always assumed it would be! Planning ahead AND knowing that it really doesn't take long to whip up a batch of roasted brussell sprouts, now that I've done it so many times. This knowledge will take me FAR beyond the end of this project, that's for sure.
Happy eating, PCP comrades!
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