Day 90: HOT DAMNNNN!!!!

Today is all kinds of awesome. Had my photo shoot this morning with the lovely Sara S. Did another goddamn pull-up (that first one was not a fluke - haHA!). Did the final workout...not sure how much we're supposed to reveal about it, but...suffice it to say that it felt damn good to see just how far I've come. On the flip-side, it was still a workout, I still worked up a sweat and felt a little burn...just in a fraction of the time that I'm now used to working out. Ok, ok - I just have to toot my own horn for a moment. 700 jumps? Used to take me forever. Today? 4.5 minutes. HOT DAMN!

I still ate a nice big PCPish breakfast after working out - it was lovely to think, what do I really want to put in this bowl? instead of, damn I don't have enough grams of protein! And, NO SCALE!!

Took the laptop over to my fave coffee place to get some other work done. Decided to get a treat to go with my double cappucino. Couldn't handle the thought of an entire muffin, so I chose a cranberry hazelnut biscotti - deLISH! Also, very very sweet. Wow. Needed that cap to wash the sweet out of my mouth.

Still, it's a normal day over here - I've got tons of stuff on my to-do list, a mountain of dishes to wash, playdates to facilitate, food to cook. What's great is having the energy to tackle all of it, piece by piece.

More thoughts to come in the form of a final post. Will take a day or two to put it all together.

HAPPY DAY 90, TEAM BADASS!!! You guys are the fucking best!! I dare say we've each rocked this program in our own spectacular way. I bow before each and every one of you!!

XOXO

Day Almost 90: A Big Surprise

DUDES - I have something incredible to report. But first, I have to say, all that whining and complaining I was doing in the past week or two, struggling with VANITY and imperfection and feeling weak in certain areas....I take it all back. Well, I can't really, 'cause it's out there. But I hereby announce to you all that I'm DONE with the complaining, I'm DONE with the judgment and perfectionism. I'm not sure I can explain why - maybe it's just the timing of everything. Coming thisclose to the end, knowing it's not really the end at all, feeling just how much stronger I am now than when this all began...all week I've felt supremely OK with myself. I can take it all in now - the hard work, the sweat, the physical changes (including the parts that still "need work"), the emotional and mental shifts. It's all OK - matter of fact, it's all GOOD.

So what happened this afternoon didn't create this feeling - it just confirmed it. Ummm...I did a pull-up.

It just happened! I was over at Sara's house, checking out her pull-up bar. She said, show me your stuff, Rubin. I was all, yeah, yeah, my pull-ups are WEAK. And then? I pulled my chin all the way up to the bar. Maybe not over it, but up to it. WHAT??? Shocking!! No one was more surprised than moi.

So, yes - all you wise ones out there with your "the limits we set on ourselves can be re-set" (Ramiro) and other related revelations about the body's potential being far beyond what the mind says it can do...I'm living proof. And a true believer.

Day 89, Dammit!!

NOOOOOOO!!!! Our blogs have been moved down to the "complete" section on the homepage. NOT. SO. FAST. PATRICK! I have so much more to say - don't pull the plug yet! LOL!

I'm really hurting this morning, thanks to late-night supersets. In fact, today is the first day that I did NOT jump rope first thing this morning, before getting the kids ready for school. Still recovering from being up so late on Sat night, needing the extra sleep. ALSO - it's raining.

FWIW, I can definitely tell a difference in my morning from NOT jumping rope. Pretty much without fail, getting all that blood circulating and muscles warm, not to mention the feeling of accomplishment...makes for a happy, energetic morning with the family. Today did not get off to a great start, reminding me of how pretty much every morning used to be prior to PCP.

Exercise begets more exercise...and energy...and motivation! I have more to say on that topic, but I've got to get my jumping done now...in the rain. :(

Edited to add:

Back now, barely. Did it all - the jumps, the sets, the whole 9. Now I am a puddle of tears and sweat, a total mess. Had to come back here and share this - in order for me to get through planks, I need my headphones and a good song on repeat. Today, it was Steely Dan:

I never seen you lookin' so bad, my funky one
You tell me that your super fine mind has come undone
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you

Patrick - at the bitter end of this fucking thing, this song is like hearing your voice in my head. And it's true - so MANY major dudes have told me, every day, through this damn blog. The presence, support and camaraderie of ALL of you major dudes has been the absolute BEST part of this - THAT is the part I'm so sad to be saying goodbye to. I can't even think about Team Badass without crying.

Day Whaaaa???

I think I just lived through the longest weekend ever. I don't know how, but we packed so much into this weekend - some of it planned, some not. Some of it totally wacky! Like the parade on Saturday. 100 firetrucks, 500 firefighters and 30 marching bands. All of whom descended upon our neighborhood (staging area for the parade) and proceeded to tailgate for 2 hours before the parade started. I was doing my workout on the back deck Sat afternoon to the sounds of 6 bagpipers warming up. For the record, 6 bagpipers easily sounds like an entire legion of bagpipers. Truly. Awesome.
I could have hung out on the street for hours totally digging this once-in-a-lifetime experience. I mean, how often does a parade start right in front of your house?? But - Dan and I were also rushing around to get ready to leave for the Catskills and the Ramble. Remember how the B&B Lady cancelled our reservation at the last minute? Well, we made some calls and ended up staying here:
A totally tricked out Airstream trailer, part of Kate's Lazy Meadow Motel near Woodstock, NY. Owned by Kate Pierson of the B-52's. How wacky is THAT???

So, the Ramble. UnbeLIEVable. Levon Helm (of The Band) lives in Woodstock and built an incredible barn/recording studio/performance space where he gives shows once a month for an intimate crowd of 150 or so. His band is TOPS, and Levon - in his 70's now? - rocks the hell out. Plus, each show features a guest artist or three. The reason we got tickets for this particular show: Anders Osborne. I'm a huge fan of this man and his music - he makes my heart go pitter-patter. :) Highlight of the night - besides his scorching set - was finally getting to meet him and shake his hand. Sigh! Wish I had a picture - no cameras allowed at the barn.

Many other weekend events besides these, too numerous to mention, really. One quick PCP-related thing: didn't have time to do today's SUPERset workout until tonight. Finished around 9:30pm...completely wrecked, etc., but also elated that I made it through. Tomorrow, I was planning to be home in the morning to do the last HUGE workout without interruption. Don't know if I'll be up for it, though, with only 12 hours in between. Otherwise, I'll be doing it at night again (not my favorite). Guess I'll see how the bod feels in the AM. On that note...

G'night, all!

Day 86: SUPERsets

WOW. Supersets - where have you been all my life???

Not to give too much away to the newbies, but it's like a whole new level of workout. The bicep/tricep set in particular was like, BAM! Pain in front of arm, pain in back of arm - FEELS GOOD!! Even the pull-ups didn't get me down today. Patrick, you saved the best Jedi mind trick for last with these supersets. Sneaky you are!

The ab set just about killed me, though. After the last plank, I flopped/rolled onto my back and literally couldn't move for more than a few minute - first time that's happened to me in 86 days! I was COOKED. DUNZO. And yet, somehow, thrilled!

This euphoria lasted me a good long while - until dinnertime-ish, when the plumber showed up. We have a laundry list of small plumbing issues left unattended for too long - so finally, I got the plumber over to have a look. The net-net is that we have two ancient leaky pipes running from our kitchen sink to the crawl-space under the house that need replacing - bummer. And the bigger bummer for my new daily-cooking lifestyle is that there is indeed a leak under our dishwasher that is soaking, buckling, and perhaps rotting the floor underneath the linoleum tile. SO - we are out a dishwasher until we get it replaced and we need to figure out how much damage control the floor really needs. Whole kitchen needs re-doing but we don't have the moola. Do we try to rip up the rotting floor in just that area? Or ignore the floor and just replace the dishwasher? Bah - ignoring is how this issue became a problem in the first place.

And in the meantime, NO DISHWASHER = double the meal-prep and clean-up time. Sob!

Plus - Dan and I were set to go to the Catskills tomorrow for a night without the kids. B&B Lady called me in the midst of Leak Discovery to say that she's sorry to have to cancel our reservation (something about plumbing issues left behind by previous guests - kinda ironic). So now we're scrambling to find another room somewhere - we're definitely still going, as we have tickets for Levon Helm's Midnight Ramble.

However, even with all these unwanted curveballs piling up around me, I'm sitting here thinking about supersets and how BADASS I was this morning! I kinda can't believe it. :)

Day 85: I Came, I Saw, I Left: Gym Visit

A fancy new New York Sports Club opened up in our area 2 or 3 years ago. As it was being built, it was a BIG topic of conversation - most of my friends were planning to join, everyone wanted to get "in" before they opened, i.e. the pre-opening special rates. We all called to put our names on the "list" before they even opened the doors because they were only offering the deal to a certain number of people....it was crazy.

At the time, I got all swept up in the hysteria (even though I've never really been a gym person) and joined the gym along with Dan. I went exactly once. I got on an elliptical machine and had such a visceral reaction - all the NOISE, and TV SCREENS, so many BUTTONS to push, so many PEOPLE! - that I almost started to cry right there. It was an overwhelming environment - so I decided to stick to the yoga studio, where it's quiet and peaceful. Luckily, I was able to talk the gym into giving me a refund.

Fast forward to today - I figured I'd go back and check it out. Even though there are some smaller and cheaper gyms in the area, this is overwhelmingly where everyone I know goes (including Dan, who goes regularly in the early mornings before work). I have to admit, I was a little nervous to go back. I felt compelled to wear leggings and a tank top that shows off my shoulders and arms - like I'd just come from a yoga class. I even put on a little make-up! To me, I guess, gyms = workout competition, like everyone there is checking everyone else out while working out. I wanted to present a strong version of myself.

Walked in, requested a tour. Friendly guy at the front desk had me fill out a little form that included questions like, do you currently exercise? What do you do for exercise? What are your fitness goals? I answered, yes, yoga and home workout, to continue exercising through the winter (this was my "line" for why I was interested in joining - being able to swim for cardio through the winter). As soon as I had filled out the card, a tall blond woman strode over to me and introduced herself. She had the direct eye contact and the too-close-for-comfort, in-my-personal-space stance of a true saleswoman. Immediately, I forgot her name. She asked me if I'd ever been here before. I said, yes, I had toured the gym when it was first opening up. Right away, she put her hand on her hip and squinted at me: "So, why didn't you join then??" Wow, way to put me on the spot, Sales Lady! I mumbled something about not being able to afford it at the time because I was spending money on yoga classes outside of the gym. She then asked if I still wanted to have a tour since I'd been here before. Now I'm thinking Sales Lady's sales skills could use some work! YES I want a tour, that's why I'm HERE, bi-atch!

So she QUICKLY walked me around for about 5 minutes. The whole time I was half-paying attention to her, smiling and chatting her up so that she would soften up a bit, and half-trying to see what all the people there were doing. That's what I was truly interested in - observing the gym rats in their natural habitat. Sadly, Sales Lady didn't give me much of a chance to watch what was going on. In terms of equipment, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of different weight machines. There was a whole area for free weights/lifting, which, ok, every gym has that. Then there were 2 different systems of circuit(?) training machines that are supposed to isolate different muscle groups. One that you're supposed to do on your own, and a second, different system where a trainer is available to help you (during certain hours) go through the whole circuit in 20 minutes. Then there was a whole separate area with more weight machines - but my head was spinning by that point, so I can't remember what were the point of THOSE.

Sales Lady did show me two different areas designated for stretching, so I got to ask if they had "smaller equipment like medicine balls or resistance bands" (I didn't ask about jump ropes, though I should have, just to see her reaction). She said, yes of course they have those things, and then made sure to walk me all the way back across the room to show me. I saw, I believed.

Then it was on to the sit-down sales-pitch. Sales Lady went through all the membership options and prices (snore). It was at this point, as we were sitting across the desk from each other, that I decided to remove my thin sweater and flash my incredibly toned shoulders and arms at Sales Lady. She didn't fall off her chair or anything, but she did ask me why I was interested in joining the gym now (as opposed to being a lemming when the club first opened, I guess?). I said something about just finishing a 90 day program that I've done mostly at home and wanting to keep the momentum going....and, I swear I'm not making this up, that was when her eyes wavered from their tractor-beam direct-eye-contact stare...and she totally checked out my biceps!!!

SCORE.

Of course Sales Lady had to follow up with, are you ready to join today? I said I'd think about it and come back. At this point, I'm expecting the hard sell - bring it, Sales Lady! You're no match for these homemade guns! But...she let me down once again. I was shaking her hand and outta there before I knew it. From start to finish, I think my visit to New York Sports took all of 12 minutes.

What I shoulda done, I realized later, was forego the whole tour/sales pitch thing in favor of Dan getting me a guest pass so that I could have hung out and observed the gym rat scene at my leisure. The one person who stood out among the sea of treadmill runners and free weight lifters was an old lady who was working with a super tiny but drill sargent-y personal trainer. Old Lady was killing it! She was all up and down the hallway doing these squat - turn 180 - squat thingys. Later on I saw her on the floor doing plank - lift right arm - plank - lift left arm. Awesome.

Needless to say, I ain't going back. I seriously could NOT imagine doing a PCP workout there...or at any gym, for that matter. Not with the facial contortions, the heavy audible breathing, or the grunting/swearing/shrieking that goes on here at home. Most importantly, though, knowing that I can do a great workout at home or wherever I happen to be...is very freeing. Not that I was ever a slave to the gym industry, but now I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will never need to spend that money, or my time, at a gym. YAY!

Day 84: Oy, I'm Plotzing!!

FIRST of all, I can't beLIEVE we're at T-6 days. WTF?!?!?!? Or (for Stu), what the FUCK???

Yep, it's one big mishmash of emotions over here. Anxiety about being kicked to the curb to fend for myself in less than a week. Anxiety about making it thru the final week's workouts. Premature nostalgia for the whole PCP experience. Love for my teammates. Depression re: the fact that we won't have these damn blogs to keep us going. Excitement about the final week's workouts. Fear that I will fall off the wagon after day 90 - especially with the exercise. I don't see the diet as being so hard to keep up....but I fear that those will become my famous last words. :)

OY.

Anyway, TEAM BADASS, I'm thinking of you all right now. Wishing you well, wishing you strength and focus and dedication for the final week. Also wishing you ease and good humor as we get ready to KICK SOME ASS!

Promised myself a good night's sleep tonight. 'Night, all!