Day 62: Fire Island Retrospective/New Pics

Dudes - this is my third try today at writing a retrospective post about our time in Fire Island. First try was all fun stories and pictures. Second try was an attempt to verbalize how hard it was to be on the PCP in that environment. Just now, I went back and read my last few posts from before and during our trip...and realized that I'd already verbalized this conflict as it was happening. SO - for my third and final try, suffice it to say that, PCP + social-y vacation with husband, friends and kids = HARD. I don't think I handled it as well as I could have, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I still managed to have lots of fun times with everybody.

Now that we're home, I'm overwhelmed with relief, so happy to be back in my own space, in my own kitchen, in charge of my own destiny, as it were. I've had the best couple of days of workouts and cooking - in fact, I think I've had 3 PPCPD's in a row!! Interestingly, the kids are also reveling in being back in their own space. They both spent the entire day yesterday creating elaborate "hide-outs" in their rooms, and today was more of the same - building and expanding their hide-outs, playing games in there, listening to music. Even the dog has been in rest and recovery mode. Home sweet home!

I do want to share some pictures of the gorgeousness that is Fire Island. First, my early morning jumping spot: the Fair Harbor ferry dock.
Check out that swan floating by. Almost every morning, a crew of swans would be out in the bay, all in a line, on their way to work, I guess. The earlier I got out, the better chance I'd have of seeing them - too late, and I was treated instead to the garbage barge dropping off the trash taxis for their daily rounds.

I totally forgot to take pictures from the roof deck where I did most of my exercises. Our friend Doug the photographer took one of me doing lunges up there, but for the life of me, I can't get it to load from his flickr set. Maybe later.

One night, we saw the moon rise over the ocean, an enormous orange orb rising up from the horizon, creating orange moon-shaped reflections on the water. Incredible! The next morning, we ran out to the beach to see the sun rise in the same spot:

A very Fire Island tradition - the wagon sale. Kids load up their wagons with stuff to sell - mostly homemade stuff like baked goods or painted shells (though this year, there was more and more random street-fair type junk being sold) - and haul them out to the dock during "sixish". Sixish is when everyone brings their boozy drinks to the dock to watch the sunset - usually more like 7 or 8 o'clock. Here's Stella with her wagon sale of handmade shell necklaces:

She made $12!

An hour or so later, sunset over the bay

Last but not least, the beach. We had a LOT of awesome days at the beach - one of the big reasons we love Fire Island.

The kids on their boogie boards
Stella and I relaxing in the shade
Milo doing some serious sand excavations
Dan and I soaking up the rays - well, except for Dan who doesn't like the sun ;)
Clyde jumping around in the surf like a madman
Stella and I making muscles on a red flag day
Wave jumping
Fire Island family portrait

New weekly pics are up! You'll recognize a bunch, but there are a slew of other new ones taken "on location". I'm pretty happy with how my upper body is shaping up - I kinda can't believe the muscle definition in my chest and arms, and external obliques. Abs and hips/buttocks still need some work. Good thing I have another 28 days to put my butt to the grindstone!

'Til tomorrow...

Day 61: This One's For You, Team Badass!

Haley, girl, I'm giving you the biggest virtual fist-bump right now! Your post just got to the heart of it for Team Badass. We do need to recommit to the blogging, the photos, and to making it HAPPEN for the next month! We ARE the role models now (!?!). Mostly, though, I'm so psyched that you wrote that post. Path of righteousness, indeed!!!

So here's a fun little image for you. Yesterday, we left Fire Island - a process in and of itself. All packed up, we had a team of 5 adults and 4 kids hauling our bags down to the dock where we caught the ferry back to the mainland. Before the ferry came, my friend Sara decided to do some impromptu dock-jumping. After her first jump, she called over, "Mrs. Rubin, I double-dog dare you to jump in here too!!" I have to point out here that she came to the dock in her swimsuit, while I was freshly showered and wearing real clothes for the first time in two weeks. Well, it took me about 3 seconds to decide, the hell with it, I can't walk away from a double-dog dare!! I stripped off my shirt, dropped my shorts - yes, in front of all those assembled on the dock to catch the ferry - and dove into the salt-water bay in my skivvies. Totally badass. After 2 jumps, I put my clothes on over my dripping wet body and got on the ferry to go home.

This was the perfect way to leave Fire Island - facing a challenge and not taking the easy way out. Sure, it was a super hot day and jumping off the dock is nothing but fun - but still. Would have been easier to stay nice and clean and dry, and not flash my undies to the world. And this is how I feel about the PCP right now: it's time to dig in, get all dirty, and take no prisoners. We all signed up for this challenge, and I think we've all found it to be a good deal more challenging than we expected going in. Despite all doubters, despite all hardships, despite even ourselves at some points, we're still here.

Thank you, Haley, for being our karmic kick-in-the-ass!!! I pledge to keep up my end of the deal and to blog religiously until the bitter end. Go Team Badassssss!

Day 59: A New Way to Jump

Ilan, I've been totally inspired by you and your jumprope skills. For the past 2 mornings, I've set my watch to 16 minutes instead of 4 sets of 4 minutes. Instead of my brain wondering when those 4 minutes are. going. to. be. done....I just don't worry about the time and jump for as long as I can. Feels great - and, surprise, I can jump for longer than 4 minutes. Those 16 minutes go by much faster, even if I take a short break somewhere in the middle. Revelation!

When we get home, I NEED to get myself a pull-up bar. I've been using a bar on the playground for the past 2 weeks. I gotta say, my pull-ups are totally ridiculous, as I can only lift myself a few inches. But over the 2 weeks, I gained at least an inch or two. So Patrick, is it better to do what I can with the real pull-up bar without assistance, to use some kind of assist to be able to lift myself higher, or to stick with incline pull-ups for now?

Tomorrow we leave Fire Island for the mainland. I have lots of pics to share but no time at the moment. Off to enjoy the beach for our last full day!

Day 57: Indulgence #2

Wow, the time keeps on flying! Still here on Fire Island, having a much better week. Not much time online, however - I feel very out of the loop with the blogging, both mine and yours. Here's what I did for my second indulgence, last Saturday night.

In the little town of Fair Harbor, we have a grocery store, an ice cream stand, a liquor store, a take-out pizza place, and one restaurant: Le Dock. It's on the dock - ha. It happens to be quite a good restaurant, with lots of local seafood options. For this indulgence, I wasn't necessarily craving a specific food. What I was craving was a nice, relaxed meal in a restaurant where I could taste and indulge in some special fresh and local foods. Le Dock = perfect choice.
Our friends were nice enough to babysit while Dan and I went out for dinner. Confession: I'm sure I went over the calorie allotment for this indulgence. I was planning to share a bunch of dishes with Dan (which we did), but of course there was also a glass of wine and some bread...once I got going, it was like, why stop??
There's my ahMAZing "she-crab soup" appetizer - chock full of potato, corn, tomato and big chunks of crab in a creamy, peppery soup. I ate almost all of it. On the right is a disappointing "salt and pepper shrimp". We didn't realize it was going to be just a plate of fried shrimp (though I still ate a bunch of them). Dan had a ceasar salad, which I did not touch, being completely bored with salad.
Here's the delicious entree we shared: a tempura soft-shell crab roll with avocado. Holy yum. It was perfection. I stayed away from the soy sauce - no need for all that salt.

Then, even though I was full and pleasantly buzzed from one glass of pinot grigio, we had to try their "special" dessert of the night: an apple tart with a tiny bit of vanilla ice cream.
Can you tell how excited I was to have a real dessert?? It was totally perfect - baked apple with some cinnamon, just the right amount of crust, a little ice cream. Not too sweet! I couldn't even imagine eating the flourless chocolate cake - that would have done me in for good.

The full effect of eating all this food was me passing out on the couch pretty soon after we got back. My belly was uncomfortably full for a few hours, but I slept soundly that night. Woke up early with a slight belly ache, went to the bathroom, went back to sleep, then got up for the day feeling slightly sluggish. Didn't feel like jumping that morning, what with the remnants of the meal still jostling around inside me, so I went for a half-hour run on the beach instead. After that I was back to normal.

All in all, it was a very satisfying indulgence - unlike the previous one, that grainy ice cream cone which just wasn't good. Pretty much everything I ate was delicious, it was nice to have one glass of wine, and I totally enjoyed the low-key, relaxed restaurant environment. It felt like a celebration of having come this far in the PCP - and also a reminder that on a daily basis, I feel SO MUCH healthier and lighter eating all the simple veggies, proteins, fruit and grains of the PCP diet. Nice to indulge, but I was very happy to get back to my tupperware of vegetables in the morning.

One more thing: similar to that apple tart, my friend Sara (the baker) made an incredible plum/blueberry tart the other night. Again, very simple, but the crust is made out of butter, flour and sugar, so not PCP-friendly. For my portion, we just put a bunch of plum slices and some berries in a tin-foil pouch and baked it alongside the tart. The end result was like a fruit stew - a soft, delicious pile of warm fruit that felt very dessert-y. Perfect way to eat fruit that might be getting a little overripe!

In other news, we've gotten into more of a groove here with the sharing of the house. It helps a TON to have Dan here. We've had some very good days that are a mixture of the 4 of us going off on our own, and then some amount of being together with our friends. Even 4 days of rainy cool/cold weather was not so bad - and now it's beautiful and sunny again. In terms of PCP stuff, I'm still splitting up the jumping from the exercises. It just works better that way in terms of fitting it into our days. I'm doing the best I can with the exercises - often getting interrupted, but sometimes doing some extra sets when that happens to regain momentum. I do like timed jumping much better than counting my jumps, as my brain doesn't have to work so hard. :)

I CANNOT BELIEVE that Team Sexaaaay is only three days away from finishing this sucker!!! This is not fair. You guys can't graduate - who will we look to for advice and wisdom??? I'm getting sad already. Sniff!

Day 51: New Pics

New pics are up! Sorry it took so long. Haven't posted any since Day 39 - oops.

WOW I'm fried in these photos! This, despite copious applications and re-applications of sunscreen. You can plainly see how my belly once was the whitest part of me. Speaking of, these pics definitely show off my wrinkly elephant skin...I wonder what will become of it, if anything??

Feeling much better today - thanks for all the love, folks. And now we have 4 adults on the premises for the weekend, so childcaring and childsharing should be a bit easier. Oh, and my outburst yesterday was definitely PMS-related. Aunt Flo showed up today to take some of the edge off, thank goodness.

Will take and post some photos of this lovely island over the next few days - especially my view from up on the roof deck, and my early morning jumping spot. It's gorgeous here. Views definitely help with the pain!

Day 50: When PCP Stress Rears Its Ugly Head

CanNOT believe we're at Day 50 already! Where has the time gone???

Today was another freakin' emotional day. These workouts are bringing me to tears, kids. I dunno, I suppose it's one way of letting out some stress. It's almost like Pavlov's dogs at this point - exercises get hard, tearducts activate.

What's it all about? I feel kinda beaten down by the last few days. It's somewhat complicated to be sharing vacation space, to negotiate all the details of the day with another family, and then to try to work in my PCP responsibilities on top of that. I end up feeling resentful - resentful of the PCP for making me think and plan while on vacation, resentful of the vacation itself. I know that I purposefully signed up for both things, knowing that they would coincide - and I trust that it will all work itself out. But today, I was not at my best.

It's super busy at the house. Kids everywhere, dogs underfoot, adults with different agendas. I started my workout in the early evening while everyone was out at the beach (thank GOD Dan arrived this afternoon, so it was possible for me to stay behind). Halfway through, everyone returned, just as I was sweating it out and fighting tears up on the roof deck. I tried to ignore all the goings on for a few more sets, then decided to take a break, help with the kids, and finish up later. I came down to find Milo trying to rinse himself with the outdoor hose. I asked him to go get in the shower instead. He looked at me, yelled NO and literally turned the hose on me. Classic. I had such a knee-jerk reaction to this - I yelled back, ran back up to the roof deck, and dissolved into tears like a 5 year old. At this point, I thought, I'm actually going insane! I'm losing control of my faculties!

Over the course of the next half hour, I also yelled at my daughter, yelled at the dog, stomped around the house menacingly, and then finally went on to finish the workout. I'm sure I scared the rest of the crew - I certainly scared myself. When I finished the abs, I took some extra time to stretch and breath up on the roof deck...and when I re-entered the house, feeling a little more calm, the kids and Dan were all fine and happy, as if nothing untoward had happened. But it did happen and I feel badly about it. When PCP meets life, it's not all wine and roses.

To add to all the drama, I'm feeling like it's near to impossible to achieve a focused workout here. Yes, I know, I'm a little type A - I like to tick things off in perfect succession. So far, I've had to be quite "creative" with time and space to fit everything in - it all happens, just not when I want it to. And I do miss the endorphin rush which, as Grace mentioned, comes with doing everything from start to finish. I want to kick this program in the ass, but right now it feels like the other way around.

Annnnnd, another thing. My diet has shifted to include quite a bit more food suddenly. No more apple and egg whites for dinner - and just as I was beginning to appreciate the simplicity of that meal! Now I have an egg and milk after working out, bigger snacks, AMAYW veggies for lunch AND dinner, protein at all three meals. Hey - I'm not complaining, as I'm definitely not so hungry anymore! But it's an adjustment that, coupled with the lack of focused workouts, has left me feeling soft and blobby in my body again. I know, I know, our bodies are constantly shifting and changing - this feeling will definitely go away. Maybe it's also PMS?

OK - rant over. An upswing is right around the corner, right?

Thinking of all you PCP'ers right now - thankful that you're out there!

Day 48: From Fair Harbor, Fire Island

Holey wholey holy heck - YES I'm still here. From Sat - Tues, here's the short version:

Arrived on Saturday morning, VERY glad to have that day of packing/organizing/freaking out hell behind me. Sat and Sun were busy days of getting settled, hanging with our friends and friends/family of those friends who were all here for the weekend. Sun night everyone left except myself, my friend Sara, our 4 kids and 2 dogs. Mon and Tues we've been doin' the Fire Island thang...going from the ocean side beach to the bay side beach, riding bikes all over, eating ice cream everyday (well, everyone but me - SAD).

I'm not going to lie - it's great to be here. This is a special place where virtually everyone is on vacation and in vacation mode. It's verrrrry relaxing. That is, when we're all set up on the beach, or riding our bikes around. Being here with 4 kids and only 2 parents means a significant part of our day is spent getting ready for beach or bike rides, or dealing with the individual dramas and group dynamics of 4 kids under the age of 7. So it's fun and relaxing, but also a lot of work.

Fitting the workouts into these 2-parent days has been a challenge. For the first time, I've been splitting up the jumping and the exercises, which I kinda like from a stamina standpoint. Jumping I've been doing first thing. But it ain't easy to find the time or the space or the focus to fit in the rest. So far, I've figured it out - but it's been kinda laughable. Sit-ups on the deck with 2 dogs and 2 kids in my face...planks in the kitchen at 10 pm while veggies roast in the oven...kung-fu sit-ups at the playground in front of the playground rush hour crowd...it's a different type of workout.

At certain points, I find myself feeling overwhelmed, frustrated by the feeling of being half-assed in both the PCP world and the social/IRL/vacation world. I feel pulled to be be as focused on PCP stuff as I've had the luxury of being all summer. But at the same time, I want to fully enjoy every day here without being so serious all the time. Any other time we've been on vacation with friends, I'm the party girl - always ready with a drink, always willing to indulge. (Which reminds me - indulgence #2 comes at a GREAT time!) I miss that girl. I miss getting a little loosey goosey. And now I've driven Sara to drink alone - NOT FAIR!

On the plus side, there is only one more full day of 2 parents/4 kids (hopefully). Dan is supposed to join us out here on Thursday, to stay for the duration - yay! Also Doug (Sara's husband) will be coming and going over the next two weeks. Another plus is that I've been having a really good time with the kids - this is a little slice of heaven for them, being here. It's great to see them doing their thing and to do it with them or alongside them. New activity this year: jumping from dock into bay!

No wifi here, but we do have an (meaning one) internet cable. With 2-4 laptop-ed adults and only one connection at a time, I don't get much time to blog or respond to blogs. I really, really should be asleep now, for instance. Gotta get to that - so g'night, will try to respond more tomorrow.

Day 44.5: Still Raw...

...just like my veggies.

So, yeah. Quite the emotional upheaval earlier. The thing that made it possible for me to carry on with my day was, literally, blogging it out and knowing, even before anyone responded, that you would all understand and not think I was bat-shit insane. So, thanks for that and also for your words of wisdom. They really did help. I do feel moderately better.

I guess I could sense it building, this anxiety around moving my PCP-ified life out to the island. Which is, of course, kinda nutballs since Fire Island is the happiest place on earth, a place of few cares and no worries. We're lucky ducks to be able to be there for so long and I really am excited to finally get there - and, to be with our friends! And yet, those lingering worries about how to navigate the PCP out there just came to an ugly, ugly head this AM.

I know I'll get thru this phase - I'm not truly considering throwing in the towel. I want to get to the sage-like hard-body stage that Team Sexaaaay is rockin'! For now, though, all I can do is muddle through one day at a time.

Not so much looking forward to tomorrow's workout, since most likely I won't have time in the morning to do it at home before we leave. But I *will* get to wear my new workout gloves (thx for the suggestion, Haley). Which will hopefully prevent more of this from happening:
Wait, what? You're wondering why I'm flipping the...OH! I see it now! So sorry, didn't mean to offend. I just wanted to show you my bruised middle finger. Yep, whipped by my new rope. But, now that you mention it, a f*$# you feels kinda cathartic.

YES I will have internet access at the beach - holy hell, I think I'd be even farther over the edge if I had to unplug from everyone's blogs for that long. Y'all keep me going. So, more updates forthcoming fer sure.

Day 44: JINXED

F*@)$%*(#@)@(*$^&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's hitting me. Hard. I cried thru the entire workout this morning - in fact, am still crying. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. My body hurts, every part of it. My new rope keeps snapping the backs of my hands when I trip, so my knuckles are swollen and sore. The backs of my knees are bruised and sore from that trapeze bar. My glutes are KILLING from who knows what. I can't do the incline pull-ups to save my life. Why isn't my back getting any stronger?? Plus, now the insides of my knuckles are red and sore from gripping the table. Everything about today's workout sucked ass - and yesterday's wasn't much better. It's taking me SO LONG to get through the whole thing. And I keep my rest times short, I really do! It's the damn exercises themselves that are dragging me down, way down.

Plus, I've got a million things to do today. I'm packing up our whole family for 2 weeks - clothes, food, stuff, bikes....and still a few errands to run. I hate days like this. Overwhelmed by to-do lists, no time to do fun stuff with the kids - it's likely that they'll spend much to long in front of the TV today. Damn.

I've been so focused on these workouts, on the cooking/shopping/preparing food, on the blogging...which, I'm realizing, is literally time taken away from my husband and my kids. I hate that when my kids get up in the morning, I'm in the middle of my workout and I don't really say a proper good-morning until I'm done. I hate that when I'm working on a blog post, the kids will be asking to go do something and I tell them, give me a few more minutes. Another few minutes. I hate that my evenings are now spent either blogging or cooking instead of hanging out with my husband. I find it sad that most nights, I'm on the laptop and he's on his new ipad. That's what's become our quality time.

I'm scared about going out to Fire Island. We're renting a house with our best friends. Last year, we spent all our time out with the kids during the day, and drinking copious amounts of tequila at night. I don't know what's going to happen this year. I don't see how I'm going to find the time it takes to do all this PCP jazz - and still be able to live in laissez-faire island time. There will be 4 or 5 days where it's just me, Sara, and our four kids - oh, and 2 dogs - so stealing away to work out won't be so easy. Plus, my early bedtimes and non-drinking are diametrically opposed to the late-night boozefests that we so enjoyed last year. F$*%!

I'm tired, my body hurts, and I just remembered the container of leftover non-PCP pancakes that I made for the kids yesterday morning. Just shoot me now.

Day 43.5: How I Spent My Evening

First, getting OVER myself.

Second, trying this:

And this:
And also this:
More pics and video (hopefully) to come.

Day 43: Waiting For That Other Shoe...

Here's what's on my mind today:

When I read the following words from Patrick re: the proverbial PCP valley...

"The people I REALLY worry about are the ones who post about how fun
and peachy PCP is and how they NEVER go off the rails."

...I said to Dan, "Dude - do you think he's talking about ME???"

I'm just sitting here, waiting. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Wondering if it'll happen during the next 2 weeks while we're at the beach...

...'Cause that'd be fun! And peachy! Can't wait!

Day 42: Quick Update

After only one morning together, I do believe that my new rope and I are a match made in heaven. :)

We're still getting to know one another, but there were times where we fell into an easy rhythm and I felt that we had known each other for years. Sigh. I guess this confirms my suspicions that ex-rope was no longer pulling her weight. Goodbye, torn and frayed! Hello, sleek and sexay!

(Also, with the new rope, 1500 jumps went by MINUTES faster on the clock than 1400. Yay!)

This morning I also experienced 8 Minute Abs for the first time. Definitely cheesy, but definitely GOOD. I love his enthusiasm!!!!!! He talks like this!!!!!! Just 10 more seconds, you can do it!!!!!! Eight minutes went by in a flash. Kinda nice to have somebody cheering me on!

XOXO

Day 41: Deep Thoughts and Random Observations

Coupla random observations to share with y'all:

1) I think I cleared the 100 jump hurdle merely by counting my sets by 200 this week. (Thanks for your ideas and responses, all.) Funny how the mind works! It makes a big difference having only 7 stones to keep track of now. Even though the overall time hasn't changed too drastically, I'm not getting so frustrated by how long. it. takes. to. get. thru. all. the. sets. And, of course, my body is totally willing to jump 2oox - or more - in a row now that my mind is willing to allow it. Tomorrow, I'm going to do 5 sets of 300 jumps. No biggie, right? RIGHT!

2)Speaking of the ol' rope...here's what 41 day of jumping has done to mine:

Torn and frayed!

"And his coat is torn and frayed
It's seen much better days
Just as long as the guitar plays
Let it steal your heart away
Let it steal your heart away"

Let's go in for a close-up, shall we?
The blue outer layer wore away a few weeks ago, leaving what seemed to be a sturdy thick rope underneath. But this morning I noticed that the white rope was almost non-existent, just threads covering a third, smaller rope inside. Needless to say, the ol' rope, she is no longer swingin' the way she did when she was young. She used to swing like a dream, like a Stones guitar lick, stealin' my heart away. Now she's all over the place, sloppy and feather-weight when I need her to be steady and strong. So I broke down today and purchased this:
To be honest, I'm scared of this thing. What with all the tripping that goes on, I'm afraid I'm going to end up getting whipped with 40 lashes! But - if it's durable, strong and steady, and if I can adjust it to the right length (as the package says I can), then a few lash marks now and then might be worth it?? I don't know - will report back tomorrow.

3)It occurred to me today, as I was out and about running errands with the kids, that my days now are all about consistently resisting temptation. This week, I'm really starting to see where I would normally turn to food in response to whatever stress or boredom presents itself in the day-to-day. Day camp is over, the kids are with me all day, there's no routine or structure to our days, and I'm trying to get a bunch of stuff accomplished before we go off to the beach for two weeks while keeping the kids from causing damage to themselves or the dog. Sometimes, I feel stressed by all of this. Yesterday was one of those days, today was not. So I watched myself wandering into the kitchen, either out of stress and boredom, really wanting to put a handful of something in my mouth. Or coming so close to eating a slice of Stella's muffin when I took them out to the coffeeshop - because I was hungry, because it was there. But I didn't cave! I saw what was happening, I saw the emotions behind the urge to eat, and I made a choice. RESIST!! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!

Also, I know that the slippery slope is a very steep and icy one. I just don't want to tempt fate by sliding down there even a little bit. I could so easily go "off the reservation" like many of you have blogged about. It's totally possible that I still might! But for now, I don't know - I'm finding out how strong my will-power really is, I guess. I keep going back to, this is only for 90 days. I can do - or NOT do - anything for 90 days. It's the blink of an eye, really, in the grand scheme of things.

4)Speaking of staying the course even while out and about...I don't know how many of you in the States have a Whole Foods near you? (Aside: I have mixed feelings about this place - some of my friends call it Whole Paycheck, but still shop there, which kinda sums it up.) I discovered today that this is the very best place to grab a totally kosher PCP lunch! They have an amazing salad bar/prepared foods bar where I was able to get a big bowl of cooked grains, pieces of simply prepared turkey breast, topped with loads of fresh veggies/yummy salads - they even had balsamic vinegar alongside the dressings. No, I didn't have my scale with me, but I'm getting pretty good at estimating amounts. I will admit that I drove kinda out of my way to eat there with the kids...but we had more errands to finish afterward and had reached the point of MOM I'M STARVING!!! So it was worth it.

Anyhow, stay strong, PCP compatriots! Show yer ass who's bad!!!

XOXO

Day 40: Bikini KILL

Vermont! Cool, sunny weather! Kids riding bikes! On 2 wheels! Blueberries!

These are some of the highlights of our weekend. Fun times. Another very personal highlight for me...I went shopping. For a bikini. (!!!)

Even a week ago, I wasn't convinced that I'd ever feel "peaky" enough to bare my belly in public. In fact, I went bikini shopping just so that I'd have something to wear in my weekly photos. But, damn! Looking this week's photos, I can hardly believe that's me:
I've had a shall-we-say "complicated" relationship with my belly since having kids. My pregnancy battle scars include lots of wrinkled, sagging belly skin and visible stretch marks over both hips. Recently, I've made peace with these aspects of my physical body, just accepting them for what they are - visual reminders of my baby-carrying days, not weaknesses, but signs of how strong my body truly is. At the same time, I've accepted the fact my belly is best kept covered, even at the beach: I'm too old, bikinis are for the young, most moms wear tankinis or tank suits, nobody wants to see my saggy belly skin...blah blah blah.

Well! I'm quite surprised to say that, when we go to the beach in a few days, I might actually wear that bikini out of the beach house and onto the beach. And this is not just because my body has become thinner, trimmer and more muscly in the past 40 days - that's part of it, but only part. My skin is still wrinkly, my stretch marks are still visible, and I doubt that those things will ever change. What HAS changed, however, is my mindset. I look good, I feel AMAZING, and I just don't care anymore what other people think. Like Royce, I'm ready to step into my superhero costume and work against the opposition by engaging in positive actions. Plus, those little wrinkles could use some SUN! Can I get an AMEN??

I'll leave you with an image of yesterday's morning snack:
From the bush to my mouth. YUM. All in all, the four of us picked 9 lbs of blueberries. Might have to dig up Elena's PCP pancake recipe for breakfast tomorrow!

XOXO

Day 37: Jumping Thru (Mental) Hoops

Here's the thing:

I think I've created a mental block in regards to the way I jump rope. I've always kept track of my jumps by sets of 100 - putting a small rock (14 of them now) into a pile until there aren't any left. By now, I feel that I should have the stamina to jump more than 100x in a row (tripping notwithstanding). And I have - 165 or so is my record, I think. But mostly, I can't seem to just...keep...jumping. Whenever I get to 100 - 120 jumps from wherever I began, I stop - to catch my breath, because my arms/legs are aching, because I don't believe I can jump anymore without stopping first. And then it's at least a minute of recovery before I get back on the horse. 1400 jumps has taken me exactly 20 minutes the last 2 days. This feels a little long, no?

It's a mental thing, I'm convinced. So what can I do to bust through this block? Maybe I should use the timer on my watch that I use during exercises and only give myself 20 secs of rest whenever I stop? Or is what I'm doing fine for now and I should just (as Patrick says) CHILLAX??

Even with the 20 min jumping, I finished the workout today (a long, hard one) in exactly one hour. So that feels pretty good.

Oh, and the minute we lost our dinner bananas, I went to the store and bought the BIGGEST apples I could find: Crispins - tart, juicy and delicious. And HUGE. With an emphasis on ENORMOUS. They are good. That is all. :)

XOXO

Ed: Now I'm curious - how do you guys keep track of all of these hundreds of jumps? What's your counting mechanism?

Day 35: The Incredible Shrinking Dinner

Just opened the email with our new diets for the week...ugh. I can't believe I lost my dinner banana!! (Ha - never thought I'd write that particular sentence.)

Instead of feeling "cleaner and lighter" like Patrick assured us we would with fruit dinners, I've been feeling a mixture of gassy and hungry, post-dinner. After the gas subsides, I feel ravenous and the ol' veggie snack doesn't do much to alleviate the hunger. Last night I stayed up too late and ate a bunch of blueberries before finally hitting the hay. I think this is the first time I've "cheated" on the PCP diet. Tonight I'm just going to go to bed hungry, hoping that I won't notice the growly feeling in my tummy if I'm asleep ;)

On the up-side, now I finally know what a pistol squat looks like! You guys wouldn't believe what I've been picturing in my head this whole time...!!!

Gotta get to bed. 'Night, all!

XOXO

Day 34.5: Indulgence #1!

So at the end of my big badass workout/hiking/climbing day last Saturday, I finally indulged. Actually, I don't think this particular indulgence merits both bold and italics. It was really more of an indulgence. Kinda "meh" all the way around. Here's why:

Since sugar and sweets are more my downfall than salty/fatty, I figured I'd head in the direction of dessert. If I had been home, I would have had scores of delicious and *high quality* treats to choose from. My best friend is an excellent baker so I'd probably just eat handfuls of her cake scraps. Or maybe some good quality dark chocolate. Point is, I'd at least be able to pronounce most of the ingredients. Yes, I admit, I am a food snob.

But there I was in Estes Park, CO - a touristy little town at the entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park. A place where one would go for outdoor adventure, not a place known for it's cuisine. The downtown strip is punctuated by ice cream/sweet shops - the kind of places that sell cotton candy, caramel corn, trays of fudge in 17 different flavors, and these bad boys:
As I mentioned before, our family has a yearly tradition of going into town for ice cream at least once during our vacation together. We are still trying to figure out which of these shops has better ice cream. Each year, we're left somewhat disappointed by the quality or the taste - the adults, that is - the kids, not so much!

Still, ice cream is ice cream - can't be so bad, right? We ended up at a busy shop, trying to wrangle the kids and their orders without anyone dropping his cone on the floor...so I barely had time to think about what flavor I wanted. Got Mocha Almond Fudge in a sugar cone:
It was ok - tasted good, nice mocha flavor with some chocolate and almonds swirled in. The texture, though, kinda grossed me out. Instead of being thick and creamy, it was grainy and icy. The cone was the best part. Nope, scratch that - the company was the best part:
That's me and my brother Tim and the four cousins: Ben, Milo, Stella and Sam. The kids were pretty psyched with their Bubblegum and Cotton Candy cones, as you can see.

As far as the effects of the ice cream, I gotta say it wasn't too dramatic. I just got a slight bellyache for a coupla hours - it was gone before I went to bed. No noticeable shift in energy level, up or down. Overall, I felt like I could have skipped this indulgence...I wasn't really craving anything in particular, especially given the choices I had in front of me. I would have been just as fine not eating the ice cream - better off, for sure, from a physical standpoint. But even mentally, it was kinda like, eh, I could take it or leave it. I took it because it was required, not because I was super psyched to be allowed to go off-diet. I do think the excitement level would have been a little higher if I were able to eat some of the treats I prefer. Grace, I think a couple of your Peanut Butter Bombs would have done the trick quite nicely!

Anyhoo, I think we'll get more of a meal-sized indulgence next time? Now that is something I can get behind!

Day 34: Vacation Adventures, Pt. 2

I'm back, back at home in NY, back to some semblance of a routine, and missing vacation somethin' terrible! I always seem to get the post-vacay blues. Instead of adventures, I've got big piles of *stuff* to deal with here at home - blah de blah blah blah. Oh well - perfect time to post about our exciting last day in CO!

Here's my day on Saturday:
1) PCP workout
2)Breakfast
3)4.5 mile hike with all 10 of us, up to the top of a moutain with 360 degree views of surrounding moutains and valleys. Not a long hike, but one that required the major parenting effort of encouraging, cajoling, and - in the end - carrying my 5 year old son to the top. Thank god I'm in good enough shape for that last part! Here's me and my offspring at the summit:
4)Quick snack and change of clothes
5)First time rock climbing on REAL ROCKS!!!

So, I've climbed up some of those fake rock walls only a handful of times. But I've recently become enamored of the idea of trying the real thing - in part because of how strong I feel in my body, thanks to the PCP. I figured, now is as good a time as ever to represent TEAM BADASSSS by attempting this feat of strength, grit and athleticism. One of the first things I asked my dad when we got to Estes Park last week was, know anyone who might want to take me rock climbing??

Turns out he did! So on Saturday afternoon, the two of us met his friend Matt (the nicest 70-something retiree, a super experienced climber/hiker/outdoorsy guy AND a master teacher of climbing) who got all the ropes/anchors/gear set up for climbing on these crazy rocks:
That's me, hanging on by a thread!! Seriously, climbing on rock (as opposed to those lovely walls with all the nice hand-holds and foot-holds) is f*$#ing HARD. Matt, being a smart man, had me try a pretty hard route to begin with and, once I went swinging away from the rock, switched me over to a slightly easier route so that I felt like I accomplished something. After that, he lowered me only part-way to the most difficult section so that I could practice some of the very helpful pointers he was giving me while getting used to the feel of shoe on rock. Then, I was able to do the more difficult route from bottom to top in a much more confident manner. Though it was still f*$#ing HARD. But also! SUPER FUN. Here's me in the hardest area above the overhang:
I mean, there's just not a lot to hang on to right there! But I did it - and then rode an adrenaline high for the rest of the day.
Awesome. Thanks, Matt! I totally owe you one. Oh, and my dad, who mostly took pictures of me sweating, straining and cursing, also got a turn on the rock. Go Dad!
Now I need to find some folks here in NY who are willing to take a newbie climber out for some fun. I'm going to make it a personal goal to go climbing at least one more time before the PCP ends. :)

And now, a preview of coming attractions! Next up will be my INDULGENCE post. Stay tuned!!

XOXO