F*@)$%*(#@)@(*$^&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's hitting me. Hard. I cried thru the entire workout this morning - in fact, am still crying. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. My body hurts, every part of it. My new rope keeps snapping the backs of my hands when I trip, so my knuckles are swollen and sore. The backs of my knees are bruised and sore from that trapeze bar. My glutes are KILLING from who knows what. I can't do the incline pull-ups to save my life. Why isn't my back getting any stronger?? Plus, now the insides of my knuckles are red and sore from gripping the table. Everything about today's workout sucked ass - and yesterday's wasn't much better. It's taking me SO LONG to get through the whole thing. And I keep my rest times short, I really do! It's the damn exercises themselves that are dragging me down, way down.
Plus, I've got a million things to do today. I'm packing up our whole family for 2 weeks - clothes, food, stuff, bikes....and still a few errands to run. I hate days like this. Overwhelmed by to-do lists, no time to do fun stuff with the kids - it's likely that they'll spend much to long in front of the TV today. Damn.
I've been so focused on these workouts, on the cooking/shopping/preparing food, on the blogging...which, I'm realizing, is literally time taken away from my husband and my kids. I hate that when my kids get up in the morning, I'm in the middle of my workout and I don't really say a proper good-morning until I'm done. I hate that when I'm working on a blog post, the kids will be asking to go do something and I tell them, give me a few more minutes. Another few minutes. I hate that my evenings are now spent either blogging or cooking instead of hanging out with my husband. I find it sad that most nights, I'm on the laptop and he's on his new ipad. That's what's become our quality time.
I'm scared about going out to Fire Island. We're renting a house with our best friends. Last year, we spent all our time out with the kids during the day, and drinking copious amounts of tequila at night. I don't know what's going to happen this year. I don't see how I'm going to find the time it takes to do all this PCP jazz - and still be able to live in laissez-faire island time. There will be 4 or 5 days where it's just me, Sara, and our four kids - oh, and 2 dogs - so stealing away to work out won't be so easy. Plus, my early bedtimes and non-drinking are diametrically opposed to the late-night boozefests that we so enjoyed last year. F$*%!
I'm tired, my body hurts, and I just remembered the container of leftover non-PCP pancakes that I made for the kids yesterday morning. Just shoot me now.
So it's Dan, Sarah's husband. And while it's true I'm in absolute love with my ipad (speaking at a conference on it Monday for anyone in NY) I love my wife more, much more, this MUCH more, no this MUCH MORE, no THIS MUCH MORE. You get the point. And while I wont be on Fire Island all days I can tell you Sarah that it will be fun, it will be relaxing, it will be PCP-ified, and it will be a party. A different type of party. Not like last year. Like one that we dont know just yet. I know your body hurts, and you want to eat and drink freely. But, you look amazing and this group here - it seems they got yer back (glutes and all). One breath at a time. Much love.
ReplyDelete"I'm just sitting here, waiting. Waiting for the other shoe to drop." DROPPED BABY!
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath. Now another. Ok, you have come so far and pushed yourself so hard, and you will make it through this as well. Fire Island won't be bad, just different. Jenny and Elena have both told me that one of the keys of pcp sanity is cooking in bulk, especially the protein and grain so that you can just grab it and go. Maybe give that a whirl; the first day you're at Fire Island cook all your protein and grain so that you can just grab it and add fresh veggies.
ReplyDeleteAlso, get yourself some workout gloves. The work wonders for your hands with the inclined pull-ups and they'll probably take some sting out of the jumprope attacks too.
You can do this!!
....and there it goes!
ReplyDeleteYep, been there, felt that. Sometimes it feels like so much WORK to do everything you need to do on the PCP. (Says the lady who still has a kitchen full of dishes waiting for her...) It's a pain in the ass. Your body gets sore.
But I know you a little bit now, and I know that you will push past this. Your husband is on board and your friends will be too. Your kids will be grateful that mama is strong and energetic. It's not going to be like this forever.
Will you have an internet connection on Fire Island? Hope you can still check in and let us all know how it's going!
hey, i had the same thing when going on holiday. the group we were going with were focused on the so-called "good life" i.e. all day drinking.
ReplyDeletei took the advice people gave on here and instead of panicking about how to resist, i just looked forward to being in an amazing place, great weather, a chance to relax and actually focusing more on PCP. it worked; instead of feeling like i was missing out, i was so focused on getting great sleep and taking my time with the workouts that i actually felt that everyone else was missing out! they went home tired and needing to detox. i went back a BADASS. (ok not really, it was only day 22 or something, so i was like 24% badass).
yup, so i succumbed to the vino one night, but it was a conscious decision, i savoured the flavour, monitored the effect it had on my body and stopped when i felt i had enough. job done. little bit of guilt, blogged it and moved on.
and totally agree that blogging can take up a lot of time. if you have no internet, enjoy the break. if you do, just keep it brief. maybe every alternate day? course we will miss you, but husband, kids and friends are more important.
(btw..is this really sarah blogging? or did someone hack into her account to make us all feel better haha.)
i cant do pull-ups either. i got jose to help me with a kinda "assisted" pull up i.e he gets me up and off for the first "heave".
have a great holiday. move jumprope to afternoon. or do swimming or running instead for one day. re sore body: hot hot bath and muscle soak. keep sane. this feeling will pass.
Whoa, momma! Did it drop HARD. :) God, I love tequila, too. I miss it, Sarah, so much! I won't say much here, cause everyone has said a lot already. Just this, you're doing great, you're looking great, your halfway through, and when you finish, you will glow. xoxo! ENJOY FIRE ISLAND!!!
ReplyDeleteSQUIRT! SQUIRT! that was my supersoaker dousing you. Hope you packed yours for water fights with the kids. :P
ReplyDeleteTravel/packing days suck but you're totally gonna get it all done. No worries! You're a BADASS. And then it'll be fun two weeks on Fire Island. Last year was last year. You're in a different (better) place cause of the pcp.
I live right by the beach and I see people drinking every night at the beach houses and I walk in front of them with my dog. I sometimes feel that I am not enjoying my summer but at the same time I feel relieved that I am spending my summer without drinking and eating too much.
ReplyDeleteYou're truly BADASS and you'll have a great time on Fire Island ( Oh I want to visit there sometime !) . Enjoy!