Final Post: PCP, You "Complete" Me.

Well, it is high time to wrap this thing UP!

In the past week, I became both a PCP alumna and a 500 hour RYT (registered yoga teacher). Aside from this being an incredibly busy week, I'm quite happy to have these two experiences dovetail into one another here at the end. More on that later.

Let's get down to the nitty gritty with some before/after pics, shallllll we?

Day 1, 117 lbs, 24.3 % body fat

Day 90, 109.6 lbs, 17% body fat

The weight number doesn't mean much, but a 7.3% drop in body fat? THANK YOU, JUMP ROPE AND VEGETABLES! Those pictures kinda suck, though, don't they? Here's another before/after that, to me, tells a more complete story:

May 13, 2010

September 29, 2010

Top photo is from a slackline/acroyoga workshop I took last May. In that picture, I see a woman whose enthusiasm for trying something new is tempered by a deep self-consciousness. I remember feeling totally obsessed with my age, that day. Driving there, I was nervous, assuming that everyone else there would be fit college-aged rock climbing types (they were), what would they think of this "mom" showing up to learn to slackline? I also see that, under the softness of my belly, there is a weakness there, in my core. There's a sway in my lower back - see it? Even though I look happy and excited in that photo, the line of my body is shows me someone who wants to feel confident and centered but who, on that day at least, didn't yet feel it in her bones.

In the bottom photo, I see myself as lean, fit, lithe and strong. I see myself having tested my mettle again and again, becoming stronger in body, mind and spirit each time. Also, I have put myself back into alignment - see how my shoulders are right over my hips? Shazam!! There's that strong core. And in my core, I do feel a new level of confidence - you can see it in my posture, the strong energetic line of my body. I am calm, focused, and ready for anything. In a word, I am transformed. :)

How did this transformation take place? Well, it ain't rocket science! Here are the insights/lessons learned that have changed me along the way:

The Simplest Food is the Best Food
Like everything else about the PCP, my biggest obstacle to feeding myself adequately was all in my head. How to shop, what to buy, how to prepare it, when to eat - my little pea-sized brain just couldn't figure it out. The PCP diet has answered these questions in the simplest way possible. Eat vegetables, protein, fruit, eggs, grains and some dairy. No fancy recipes, no parameters besides the grams. Simple! And yet, incredibly broad, encompassing so very many fabulous, fresh, whole foods. Foods that are filled with flavor, nutrients, fiber, water, energy. Can't get all THAT from a box of cereal!

This philosophy of food is (I'll say it again) so simple, but it would have remained just that - a philosophy - if I hadn't felt and experienced the difference in my body. Hey, I feel all bright and sparkly! I have loads of energy! I'm getting stuff accomplished! I'm not so tired all the time! The only downside? Green stuff between my teeth after every meal. Just means I have to engage in another PCP-endorsed activity: floss more. :)

I can't overemphasize the HUGE IMPACT this diet has made on my daily cooking and time management habits. I blogged about it previously, but suffice it to say that, over the past 3 months, the kitchen has become my number one happy place, with the farmer's market and Fairway a very close second and third. BIG WIN in this area.

Jumprope is a Way of Life
Don't get me wrong - I've had my ups and downs with the rope. I spent at least 2/3 of my 90 days hating it to one degree or another. Near the end, though, the rope and I became one. I finally stopped struggling and let the jumping be whatever it was that day - fluid and efficient, or a bumbling mess. Didn't matter, didn't care. Mind = calm. After a few days recently of not jumping first thing, I started daydreaming about it. I find that it's something I need to do when I wake up - and so, I have been, every day. Mama needs her morning endorphin rush. ;)

And here, at long last, is my jumprope trick. Be warned, kids - it's VERY ADVANCED. Cross-over and double jump? Child's play compared to this. Do not try this at home without proper adult supervision:



I am a Person Who Works Out
This still feels awkward to say out loud, but I'm saying it anyway so that I continue to manifest it in real life: I am a Person Who Works Out. I did these damn workouts every damn day for 90 days - there was never any question in my mind about whether or not I was going to do it that day. I was committed - and also psyched about the changes I was seeing/feeling.

Now, my challenge is to keep the ball rolling. All the excuses and procrastination techniques have shown up again now that the PCP-proper is over. The hardest part is getting started, each and every time. Once I'm in the workout, I'm IN it - and I love how amazing I feel when I'm done. Again, it's all a mind-game. Which is also good news, since that means it's all in my head. ;)

The Places Where Yoga and PCP Intersect
In yoga, we talk a lot about opening up the pathways in the body so that energy, or prana, can move more freely. Over the weekend, a yogini friend of mine said something interesting: When the body is strong, prana moves more easily, with less impediments. This has definitely been my experience. Certainly, with the practices - whether it's asana, pranayama, yin yoga - I do feel a heightened sense of energetic movement through this very fit body. It's super cool! But I can also feel in my body that the strength training exercises themselves release prana in their own way. We're not working with ancient postures or meridians, but we are working deep in the muscle tissue, with focus and (hopefully) awareness. It's all prana anyway - my PCP workouts have certainly released their share of it in the form of emotional upheaval!

The other thing that I appreciate about these workouts is that they have shown me, yet again, that my body is capable of far more than my mind thinks it is. Working to failure necessitates going beyond the habits of the mind and staying with what's really happening: breath, sensation, etc. This is where I get to "play the edge", out here in muscle-failure-land.

Exercise Begets Exercise
Raising my daily activity level with these workouts has already paid huge dividends in my day-to-day life, especially with the kids. I'm much more apt than ever before to suggest a quick bike ride or a half-hour on the slackline when the kids and I find ourselves looking for something to do. Absurdly, these are the type of activities I used to say no to when the kids suggested them, pre-PCP, when I felt too tired to deal. Now I'm the one raring to go!

Getting Fit Brings Out My Inner Daredevil
During the PCP, I rock climbed and flew on the flying trapeze, both for the first time. I played on my very own slackline. I bought my very first new bike (which I totally forgot to blog about, so here you go - it's AWESOME!). I jumped off a public dock in my skivvies. I even wore a bikini in public for the first time in 8 or 9 years! These are all things that I wanted to do when the PCP started (well, except for the spontaneous dock jumping) - and I did them ALL, dammit. Next up? I wanna learn to SURF. Talk about manifesting one's own destiny!!

Last But Not Least: There Is No "I" In TEAM BADASS!!
Whenever I needed inspiration along the way, I thought of Haley and her badass firefighting classes; Grace and her hardcore volleyball tournaments; Louise and all her travel/apt selling/wedding planning; Ilan and his crazy intense job/endless client dinners/international lifestyle; Will and his intense work with Alzheimer's patients. Seriously - you're all AMAZING and I'm in awe of each of you. I'm also grateful and proud of us as a team for passing the baton of support, encouragement and ass-kicking to whomever needed it in the moment. Let's keep that going, eh? Via FB or email until there is an official PCP forum??

To Patrick and Chen - Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for creating an experience of personal fitness that goes way beyond the physical. Patrick, your wisdom is deep, man! Thanks for being so very present through this process, through all your emails and comments and chats. It's been an honor and a privilege, sir!

To past PCP'ers, particularly Team SEXAAAY - Thanks for leading and lighting up the way ahead. I often thought of you guys, especially during the final weeks, remembering little gems from your blogs. Great role models, all of you!

To the present teams - F*@#ing rock it!! I know you will. And if I need a little kick-in-the-arse to get my post-PCP workouts going, I'm gonna turn to YOUR BLOGS, 'cause that's where the rubber is hitting the ROAD!

Finally, to Dan - Thanks for being my IRL support system and PCP-enabler, even when it got hard. ESPECIALLY when it got hard. I love you, and I hope that this experience helps set in motion a healthier way of life for our family.

I think I'll close this (extremely long) post with a coupla muscles shots. What, did you think I wouldn't?? :)


Have you ever heard Patrick say something like, the exercise you hate the most is the one that will set you free? He's right, y'all. Remember all the whining I did about how much I hate pull-ups? I give you, Exibit A:



If I can do this, I'm pretty sure I can do anything.

XOXOXO

Not Yet Complete...

Sorry, all! Am knee-deep in my final 3 day yoga teacher training intensive. We "graduate" today! All my time and energy has been put into that since PCP ended...but I'm thinking of you all and hope to get my final post up tonight or tomorrow. xoxo

Day 90: HOT DAMNNNN!!!!

Today is all kinds of awesome. Had my photo shoot this morning with the lovely Sara S. Did another goddamn pull-up (that first one was not a fluke - haHA!). Did the final workout...not sure how much we're supposed to reveal about it, but...suffice it to say that it felt damn good to see just how far I've come. On the flip-side, it was still a workout, I still worked up a sweat and felt a little burn...just in a fraction of the time that I'm now used to working out. Ok, ok - I just have to toot my own horn for a moment. 700 jumps? Used to take me forever. Today? 4.5 minutes. HOT DAMN!

I still ate a nice big PCPish breakfast after working out - it was lovely to think, what do I really want to put in this bowl? instead of, damn I don't have enough grams of protein! And, NO SCALE!!

Took the laptop over to my fave coffee place to get some other work done. Decided to get a treat to go with my double cappucino. Couldn't handle the thought of an entire muffin, so I chose a cranberry hazelnut biscotti - deLISH! Also, very very sweet. Wow. Needed that cap to wash the sweet out of my mouth.

Still, it's a normal day over here - I've got tons of stuff on my to-do list, a mountain of dishes to wash, playdates to facilitate, food to cook. What's great is having the energy to tackle all of it, piece by piece.

More thoughts to come in the form of a final post. Will take a day or two to put it all together.

HAPPY DAY 90, TEAM BADASS!!! You guys are the fucking best!! I dare say we've each rocked this program in our own spectacular way. I bow before each and every one of you!!

XOXO

Day Almost 90: A Big Surprise

DUDES - I have something incredible to report. But first, I have to say, all that whining and complaining I was doing in the past week or two, struggling with VANITY and imperfection and feeling weak in certain areas....I take it all back. Well, I can't really, 'cause it's out there. But I hereby announce to you all that I'm DONE with the complaining, I'm DONE with the judgment and perfectionism. I'm not sure I can explain why - maybe it's just the timing of everything. Coming thisclose to the end, knowing it's not really the end at all, feeling just how much stronger I am now than when this all began...all week I've felt supremely OK with myself. I can take it all in now - the hard work, the sweat, the physical changes (including the parts that still "need work"), the emotional and mental shifts. It's all OK - matter of fact, it's all GOOD.

So what happened this afternoon didn't create this feeling - it just confirmed it. Ummm...I did a pull-up.

It just happened! I was over at Sara's house, checking out her pull-up bar. She said, show me your stuff, Rubin. I was all, yeah, yeah, my pull-ups are WEAK. And then? I pulled my chin all the way up to the bar. Maybe not over it, but up to it. WHAT??? Shocking!! No one was more surprised than moi.

So, yes - all you wise ones out there with your "the limits we set on ourselves can be re-set" (Ramiro) and other related revelations about the body's potential being far beyond what the mind says it can do...I'm living proof. And a true believer.

Day 89, Dammit!!

NOOOOOOO!!!! Our blogs have been moved down to the "complete" section on the homepage. NOT. SO. FAST. PATRICK! I have so much more to say - don't pull the plug yet! LOL!

I'm really hurting this morning, thanks to late-night supersets. In fact, today is the first day that I did NOT jump rope first thing this morning, before getting the kids ready for school. Still recovering from being up so late on Sat night, needing the extra sleep. ALSO - it's raining.

FWIW, I can definitely tell a difference in my morning from NOT jumping rope. Pretty much without fail, getting all that blood circulating and muscles warm, not to mention the feeling of accomplishment...makes for a happy, energetic morning with the family. Today did not get off to a great start, reminding me of how pretty much every morning used to be prior to PCP.

Exercise begets more exercise...and energy...and motivation! I have more to say on that topic, but I've got to get my jumping done now...in the rain. :(

Edited to add:

Back now, barely. Did it all - the jumps, the sets, the whole 9. Now I am a puddle of tears and sweat, a total mess. Had to come back here and share this - in order for me to get through planks, I need my headphones and a good song on repeat. Today, it was Steely Dan:

I never seen you lookin' so bad, my funky one
You tell me that your super fine mind has come undone
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you

Patrick - at the bitter end of this fucking thing, this song is like hearing your voice in my head. And it's true - so MANY major dudes have told me, every day, through this damn blog. The presence, support and camaraderie of ALL of you major dudes has been the absolute BEST part of this - THAT is the part I'm so sad to be saying goodbye to. I can't even think about Team Badass without crying.

Day Whaaaa???

I think I just lived through the longest weekend ever. I don't know how, but we packed so much into this weekend - some of it planned, some not. Some of it totally wacky! Like the parade on Saturday. 100 firetrucks, 500 firefighters and 30 marching bands. All of whom descended upon our neighborhood (staging area for the parade) and proceeded to tailgate for 2 hours before the parade started. I was doing my workout on the back deck Sat afternoon to the sounds of 6 bagpipers warming up. For the record, 6 bagpipers easily sounds like an entire legion of bagpipers. Truly. Awesome.
I could have hung out on the street for hours totally digging this once-in-a-lifetime experience. I mean, how often does a parade start right in front of your house?? But - Dan and I were also rushing around to get ready to leave for the Catskills and the Ramble. Remember how the B&B Lady cancelled our reservation at the last minute? Well, we made some calls and ended up staying here:
A totally tricked out Airstream trailer, part of Kate's Lazy Meadow Motel near Woodstock, NY. Owned by Kate Pierson of the B-52's. How wacky is THAT???

So, the Ramble. UnbeLIEVable. Levon Helm (of The Band) lives in Woodstock and built an incredible barn/recording studio/performance space where he gives shows once a month for an intimate crowd of 150 or so. His band is TOPS, and Levon - in his 70's now? - rocks the hell out. Plus, each show features a guest artist or three. The reason we got tickets for this particular show: Anders Osborne. I'm a huge fan of this man and his music - he makes my heart go pitter-patter. :) Highlight of the night - besides his scorching set - was finally getting to meet him and shake his hand. Sigh! Wish I had a picture - no cameras allowed at the barn.

Many other weekend events besides these, too numerous to mention, really. One quick PCP-related thing: didn't have time to do today's SUPERset workout until tonight. Finished around 9:30pm...completely wrecked, etc., but also elated that I made it through. Tomorrow, I was planning to be home in the morning to do the last HUGE workout without interruption. Don't know if I'll be up for it, though, with only 12 hours in between. Otherwise, I'll be doing it at night again (not my favorite). Guess I'll see how the bod feels in the AM. On that note...

G'night, all!

Day 86: SUPERsets

WOW. Supersets - where have you been all my life???

Not to give too much away to the newbies, but it's like a whole new level of workout. The bicep/tricep set in particular was like, BAM! Pain in front of arm, pain in back of arm - FEELS GOOD!! Even the pull-ups didn't get me down today. Patrick, you saved the best Jedi mind trick for last with these supersets. Sneaky you are!

The ab set just about killed me, though. After the last plank, I flopped/rolled onto my back and literally couldn't move for more than a few minute - first time that's happened to me in 86 days! I was COOKED. DUNZO. And yet, somehow, thrilled!

This euphoria lasted me a good long while - until dinnertime-ish, when the plumber showed up. We have a laundry list of small plumbing issues left unattended for too long - so finally, I got the plumber over to have a look. The net-net is that we have two ancient leaky pipes running from our kitchen sink to the crawl-space under the house that need replacing - bummer. And the bigger bummer for my new daily-cooking lifestyle is that there is indeed a leak under our dishwasher that is soaking, buckling, and perhaps rotting the floor underneath the linoleum tile. SO - we are out a dishwasher until we get it replaced and we need to figure out how much damage control the floor really needs. Whole kitchen needs re-doing but we don't have the moola. Do we try to rip up the rotting floor in just that area? Or ignore the floor and just replace the dishwasher? Bah - ignoring is how this issue became a problem in the first place.

And in the meantime, NO DISHWASHER = double the meal-prep and clean-up time. Sob!

Plus - Dan and I were set to go to the Catskills tomorrow for a night without the kids. B&B Lady called me in the midst of Leak Discovery to say that she's sorry to have to cancel our reservation (something about plumbing issues left behind by previous guests - kinda ironic). So now we're scrambling to find another room somewhere - we're definitely still going, as we have tickets for Levon Helm's Midnight Ramble.

However, even with all these unwanted curveballs piling up around me, I'm sitting here thinking about supersets and how BADASS I was this morning! I kinda can't believe it. :)

Day 85: I Came, I Saw, I Left: Gym Visit

A fancy new New York Sports Club opened up in our area 2 or 3 years ago. As it was being built, it was a BIG topic of conversation - most of my friends were planning to join, everyone wanted to get "in" before they opened, i.e. the pre-opening special rates. We all called to put our names on the "list" before they even opened the doors because they were only offering the deal to a certain number of people....it was crazy.

At the time, I got all swept up in the hysteria (even though I've never really been a gym person) and joined the gym along with Dan. I went exactly once. I got on an elliptical machine and had such a visceral reaction - all the NOISE, and TV SCREENS, so many BUTTONS to push, so many PEOPLE! - that I almost started to cry right there. It was an overwhelming environment - so I decided to stick to the yoga studio, where it's quiet and peaceful. Luckily, I was able to talk the gym into giving me a refund.

Fast forward to today - I figured I'd go back and check it out. Even though there are some smaller and cheaper gyms in the area, this is overwhelmingly where everyone I know goes (including Dan, who goes regularly in the early mornings before work). I have to admit, I was a little nervous to go back. I felt compelled to wear leggings and a tank top that shows off my shoulders and arms - like I'd just come from a yoga class. I even put on a little make-up! To me, I guess, gyms = workout competition, like everyone there is checking everyone else out while working out. I wanted to present a strong version of myself.

Walked in, requested a tour. Friendly guy at the front desk had me fill out a little form that included questions like, do you currently exercise? What do you do for exercise? What are your fitness goals? I answered, yes, yoga and home workout, to continue exercising through the winter (this was my "line" for why I was interested in joining - being able to swim for cardio through the winter). As soon as I had filled out the card, a tall blond woman strode over to me and introduced herself. She had the direct eye contact and the too-close-for-comfort, in-my-personal-space stance of a true saleswoman. Immediately, I forgot her name. She asked me if I'd ever been here before. I said, yes, I had toured the gym when it was first opening up. Right away, she put her hand on her hip and squinted at me: "So, why didn't you join then??" Wow, way to put me on the spot, Sales Lady! I mumbled something about not being able to afford it at the time because I was spending money on yoga classes outside of the gym. She then asked if I still wanted to have a tour since I'd been here before. Now I'm thinking Sales Lady's sales skills could use some work! YES I want a tour, that's why I'm HERE, bi-atch!

So she QUICKLY walked me around for about 5 minutes. The whole time I was half-paying attention to her, smiling and chatting her up so that she would soften up a bit, and half-trying to see what all the people there were doing. That's what I was truly interested in - observing the gym rats in their natural habitat. Sadly, Sales Lady didn't give me much of a chance to watch what was going on. In terms of equipment, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of different weight machines. There was a whole area for free weights/lifting, which, ok, every gym has that. Then there were 2 different systems of circuit(?) training machines that are supposed to isolate different muscle groups. One that you're supposed to do on your own, and a second, different system where a trainer is available to help you (during certain hours) go through the whole circuit in 20 minutes. Then there was a whole separate area with more weight machines - but my head was spinning by that point, so I can't remember what were the point of THOSE.

Sales Lady did show me two different areas designated for stretching, so I got to ask if they had "smaller equipment like medicine balls or resistance bands" (I didn't ask about jump ropes, though I should have, just to see her reaction). She said, yes of course they have those things, and then made sure to walk me all the way back across the room to show me. I saw, I believed.

Then it was on to the sit-down sales-pitch. Sales Lady went through all the membership options and prices (snore). It was at this point, as we were sitting across the desk from each other, that I decided to remove my thin sweater and flash my incredibly toned shoulders and arms at Sales Lady. She didn't fall off her chair or anything, but she did ask me why I was interested in joining the gym now (as opposed to being a lemming when the club first opened, I guess?). I said something about just finishing a 90 day program that I've done mostly at home and wanting to keep the momentum going....and, I swear I'm not making this up, that was when her eyes wavered from their tractor-beam direct-eye-contact stare...and she totally checked out my biceps!!!

SCORE.

Of course Sales Lady had to follow up with, are you ready to join today? I said I'd think about it and come back. At this point, I'm expecting the hard sell - bring it, Sales Lady! You're no match for these homemade guns! But...she let me down once again. I was shaking her hand and outta there before I knew it. From start to finish, I think my visit to New York Sports took all of 12 minutes.

What I shoulda done, I realized later, was forego the whole tour/sales pitch thing in favor of Dan getting me a guest pass so that I could have hung out and observed the gym rat scene at my leisure. The one person who stood out among the sea of treadmill runners and free weight lifters was an old lady who was working with a super tiny but drill sargent-y personal trainer. Old Lady was killing it! She was all up and down the hallway doing these squat - turn 180 - squat thingys. Later on I saw her on the floor doing plank - lift right arm - plank - lift left arm. Awesome.

Needless to say, I ain't going back. I seriously could NOT imagine doing a PCP workout there...or at any gym, for that matter. Not with the facial contortions, the heavy audible breathing, or the grunting/swearing/shrieking that goes on here at home. Most importantly, though, knowing that I can do a great workout at home or wherever I happen to be...is very freeing. Not that I was ever a slave to the gym industry, but now I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will never need to spend that money, or my time, at a gym. YAY!

Day 84: Oy, I'm Plotzing!!

FIRST of all, I can't beLIEVE we're at T-6 days. WTF?!?!?!? Or (for Stu), what the FUCK???

Yep, it's one big mishmash of emotions over here. Anxiety about being kicked to the curb to fend for myself in less than a week. Anxiety about making it thru the final week's workouts. Premature nostalgia for the whole PCP experience. Love for my teammates. Depression re: the fact that we won't have these damn blogs to keep us going. Excitement about the final week's workouts. Fear that I will fall off the wagon after day 90 - especially with the exercise. I don't see the diet as being so hard to keep up....but I fear that those will become my famous last words. :)

OY.

Anyway, TEAM BADASS, I'm thinking of you all right now. Wishing you well, wishing you strength and focus and dedication for the final week. Also wishing you ease and good humor as we get ready to KICK SOME ASS!

Promised myself a good night's sleep tonight. 'Night, all!

Day 83: Who Doesn't Love VIDEOS??

Now that I've figured out how to embed videos, NO ONE can stop me!!

From my house to yours, here's a little sumthin' to inspire your next workout:



This little ditty has become one of my favorites on my workout playlist - though, I have to admit, I totally poached it from Tara's list. It's an old standard made down and dirty. Here's a live version:



There are tons of jump rope trick videos on youtube - my favorites are the super amateur ones, no soundtracks, no fancy camera work. Check out this guy just doing his thing on the street. Getting winded, tripping, saying hi to the random lady strolling by...it's pure gold.



And I love this chick jumping barefoot in the hotel parking lot - she's got some badass tricks up her sleeve:



So I gotta say - after 83 days of jumping rope, I finally figured out how to do something other than jump with both feet over...and over...and over. Stay tuned - if one of my family members can capture my new trick on video, you guys will be the first to see it!

Day 82: Indulgence #3 and...

Here's a quick run-down of my final indulgence from last night. Since my last indulgence was a lovely date night out with my husband, I figured this would be a good chance to include the kids. So we all went out to Sweetgrass Grill in Tarrytown, a new-ish restaurant featuring seasonal and locally-sourced foods.
Our shared appetizer was an OUTRAGEOUS marinated heirloom tomato salad with cucumbers and charred mozzarella. You can see where my fork went first :)
And here we have a whole egg pappardelle (pasta) with garlic lamb sausage, roasted corn, braised bacon, corn puree, and fresh basil. YUM. Didn't finish all of it, but came pretty damn close. Dan ordered a braised eggplant and shrimp dish that was equally yummy. The kids were psyched that they could order their standard grilled cheese and french fries. Here we are with full bellies:
After dinner, we ambled down the street to the local ice cream shop where we promised to take the kids for dessert. I figured maybe Dan and I would share something, but he wanted his own, so I was FORCED to order my very own ice cream cone. I found the chocolate-y-est flavor on the menu - I think it was called "black soot". Dark chocolate ice cream with a fudge swirl and chocolate crunchies mixed in. It was GOOD, y'all. Very, very good. More than made up for my disappointing first indulgence experience.

Food was great, company was exceptional, and I loved being able to enjoy a special meal out with my family. Looking back, the food I ate for dinner could almost have passed for PCP-compliant, even though I wasn't thinking about that at the time. I just ordered what looked good. The ice cream, though, definitely made this a far-from-PCP-diet indulgent experience, so I'm really glad I had it.

Now I'm all fired up for the final push!! Let's RIP IT UP, TEAM BADASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS - And it'll be a lengthy PS...I have to show you guys what I did this afternoon:
Inspired by the YogaSlackers and a workshop I took with one of them last spring, I finally set up a slackline in our backyard!
HA - tonight's email from Patrick said to find a new ab exercise and blog about it. So, BAM! Here's mine:
Balancing on one hand & one knee is a pretty standard-issue core strengthener. Try doing it on a one-inch thick piece of tubular webbing that is swaying between two trees! Actually, doing anything on a slackline requires TONS of core strength. Here's how the pros do it - seriously, watch this short video:

And here's me - video, and commentary, courtesy of Stella. Keep watching for the big finale!



The kids had just as much fun as I did trying to stand up on the line:

So, obviously, I'm psyched with our new outdoor activity! I plan on making this a part of my daily practice. Balance and core strength FTW!!

Day 81: How It Is Right Now

OK - I'm going to let off a little steam right now by freaking out about the fact that Team BADASS is finishing this thing in NINE days (how is that POSSIBLE?!??) and I still feel like I have a bunch more work to do to reach my personal peak condition. I know, I KNOW! It's not like we're going to turn into a wax museum version of ourselves on Day 90, forever stuck at whatever point we're at on that day. I KNOW it's not about the 90 days! Believe me, I plan on keeping this thing going, in some form or other, for years to come. However - there have been moments during this past week where VANITY has reared it's ugly head and pointed out all the places on my body that still need work.

Here's what VANITY has been talking about: a)Back and shoulders = WEAK. Pull-ups still totally suck and I hate them for making me feel so...weak. b)Hips and butt = still rockin' some layers of fat. Might be some muscles under there somewhere, but they have yet to make themselves known. c)My old "friend" Melvin - ha! Still hanging around - yes, literally hanging from my body like an old balloon that's lost it's air. Can't imagine him ever leaving for good.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, deep breaths. Had to get all that off my chest. Yes, these nagging thoughts (thanks, VANITY!) have been bugging me - HOWEVER. They happen sporadically, popping up from time to time in the midst of what is becoming my "new normal", to quote Haley. The new normal keeps evolving, but so far, it's characterized by increased energy, steadiness of mind and heart, equanimity, and commitment to health. The daily diet and exercise is, yes, still "required", but it has also become a given. I know, upon waking, that I will get up and jump rope. I know that I will fit in the rest of the workout at some point throughout the day - it's a given. I know that I will make sure I eat what I need to eat in order to sustain myself. Right now, that means hitting the grams. In the future, it will be a little trickier, but I know my experience of food has already shifted so much that I can't see myself going back to where I once was. I can feel the benefits of all my hard work manifesting throughout my days - and mostly, I can take the long view when it comes to my physical body. Especially after a day like yesterday, when everything comes into focus. All my rants, all my worries, all my obsessions...they are so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Life is short! Why create unnecessary pain??

...Aaaaaaaannnndddd the next morning I have to face the dreaded pull-ups all over again. I curse, I rant, I feel completely defeated, I cry. I might even slam a door. And then I do the rest of the workout. When I finish, I eat. Somewhere in there, I am reminded that getting my undies in a bundle is part of the human condition. This reminds me to breathe. I turn on some music in the kitchen and suddenly my kids are laughing at me while I "shake my butt". Which reminds me that my butt is good for shaking. More laughter and dancing ensues.

That's just how it is right now.

Day 80: Yom Kippur Musings

A very interesting day, this Yom Kippur. Gave me a lot to think about this year.

First off, fasting. Not eating food connected me to those who don't have food to eat. We are SO LUCKY to be able to eat beautiful, bountiful food. So many others are not so lucky.

Second, feeling the effects of not eating or drinking for 24 hours (feeling tired, light-headed, cranky) reminded me of how I used to feel a LOT of the time, just because I wasn't feeding myself well. I can see the difference BIG TIME in my interactions with the kids. Before the PCP, I was often cranky with them, had no energy and therefore little creativity in spending unstructured time with them. Now, thanks to all the changes in diet and exercise, I have so much more energy and not so many huge shifts in mood. We're all enjoying our unstructured time together - impromptu bike rides, walking the dog, playing made-up games - and I'm actively building more down-time into our days. Interesting how the fast brought up that awareness of how I used to feel, day in and day out.

Third, even though I wasn't eating well during the day, I did the next best thing in order to take care of myself: a big fat NAP. It was both luxurious and necessary.

Fourth, fasting is not easy. It's meant to be difficult. In the context of Yom Kippur, it's meant to be a reminder of our own mortality. I really did feel that today. Awareness of how our lives are so short and yet, we all carry so much pain around inside of us, some of it self-inflicted, some of it the result of mistakes we've made. It's a very powerful thing to be able to stand up as a community and get in touch with all of these things. Life is short, and yet, pain. What is our responsibility in all of this? How can we repair what has broken? Where do we choose to live from, now?

Felt good to sit with the questions.

Day 77: Family Matters

DAMN!!! My blender just bit the dust. I guess this last banana/blueberry smoothie cream was the straw that broke the camel's back. The rotary thing that spins the blades around from the bottom, completely disintegrated. And now I'm stuck with hunks of frozen bananas & blueberries, sitting dejectedly in a bowl of milky yogurt. Sigh!

So today, my 7 year old daughter Stella decided, pretty much out of the blue, that she wanted to make her own exercise and diet plans. We haven't talked too much about the PCP, she and I, though she's certainly watched me exercise and cook more in the past 2 1/2 months than I have in, oh, probably her lifetime. (Though, randomly, this morning she asked me if I've ever used the stove - apparently she hasn't noticed me standing there cooking EVERY DAY.) From the backseat of the car, she piped up that she wanted to make a list of exercises she could do in the morning, afternoon, and evening, plus a list of foods that she could eat for each meal. The minute we got home, the two of us sat down and wrote all this stuff down. Her food list is short since she's a pretty picky eater. Boiled eggs made it on there twice, even though I don't think she's ever eaten one. But hey - it gave us the opportunity to talk about balanced meals and eating fruit/dairy for snacks, instead of processed foods. Plus, she ate half a sweet potato later for dinner, a new veggie for her. Score!

The exercises on her list were mainly her ideas but she also wanted me to show her some new stuff. See if you can spot which is which:

EXERCISES (Stella ONLY)

Morning:

• jumping jacks
• push ups
• crunches

Afternoon:

• squats
• plank
• duck walk (i.e. creep - she liked the name "duck walk" better)
  

Evening:

• stretches
• downward dog
• meditation

Even though she marked this 'STELLA ONLY', she agreed to let Milo in on the action just this once. The two of them took yoga mats and went in the playroom while I made dinner. I'm kicking myself for not spying on them and/or taking video of their shared workout - hopefully I'll get another opportunity during "morning exercises"!

Just to keep that ball rolling, I invited them to do 8 Minute Abs with me after dinner. Pretty funny! Milo was tired, but Stella was totally game - she kept wanting me to check her form (that's my girl!) and stuck with it until the end. "What is he saying? What does 'firm up' mean? Why does he keep calling us 'guys'?" 8MA dude's funny sayings are even funnier when channeled through a 7 year old.

Even if all of this is just her "activity of the day", I am psyched to know that some of my new PCP-ified habits are starting to trickle down to the kids.

PS - TEAM BADASS is lookin' GOOD, yo! I'm loving all the new pics...which reminds me that I need to take some new ones tomorrow. And I can't get over the SEVENTEEN Day One'ers!!! Holy influx! Welcome to the hood, y'all.

Day 75.5: Form-Junkie

I've been having some pain in my left shoulder - it gets pretty intense about halfway into my jumps and has almost caused me to knock off early a few times. Strangely, it hasn't bothered me as much while doing actual shoulder exercises. Except - I was watching myself do front shoulder raises yesterday and noticed that I was pulling up on my left shoulder while raising my arm, maybe to compensate for the fact that it's been hurting or is weaker than my right? Anyway - the pain was particularly bad this morning, so I went to see the chiropractor this afternoon.

He concurred that my left shoulder is much tighter than my right and could tell that I've been pulling it up and forward too much. He encouraged me to keep watching my form - which, duh. He also worked my shoulder/spine/chest/neck and it does feel a bit looser now. Hopefully I can tell a difference while jumping in the morning.

If I had one criticism of the PCP, it would be this: I dearly wish I could have done at least ONE workout with someone - Patrick ideally, or someone, anyone who could check my form and work out any kinks. Someone who could also push me to the outer limits, the way that Naoko or others who have worked face-to-face with Patrick have been pushed. Patrick, you should really think about cloning yourself so that there are at least a few of you spread out over the globe. :) Anyone who's ever been in a great class or private session with a knowledgeable teacher understands - there is no substitute for hands-on assistance. That is the only thing missing for me. Instead, I STILL - 75 days in - study those tiny pictures on our workout sheets, making sure, to the best of my ability, that my form emulates the illustrations. I guess I'm just a form-junkie, always looking for that next assist!

Day 75: Low to High, All in One Day

First, a little story. Yesterday I woke up on the late side after having gone to bed super early. Tired, sore of body, emotionally...kinda spent. Feeling like I was hitting another wall with PCP, overwhelmed by the craziness of our fall schedule, off-balance from many things demanding my attention, worried about annoying health issues popping up again. Basically, poor me!

Got a very late start on morning jumps - and was totally hating every moment. Body was tired, legs were sore, left shoulder KILLING me. Got so frustrated that I burst into tears near the end. This, plus a late start, meant that I wasn't able to do the rest of the workout - had no choice but to carry on with the day, take Milo to hockey, get myself in a better frame of mind. Busy afternooon - and with friends coming over for dinner, I had to squeeze in my workout just before they arrived. By this time, my body was feeling better, my mind was calmer, and I just did what I needed to do. Reached failure on all the shoulder exercises, totally rocked it out on all those v-sits - a MUCH better experience than the morning.

Had a fun dinner with our friends - and an almost totally PCP-friendly dinner, I might add! My mood had improved so much throughout the day that my husband noticed and commented on it. This entire day was another reminder to me about how quickly things change. Even from the depths of my bad mood, there was nothing major that happened to snap me out of it, just a continual, almost imperceptible slow climb upward. Like Patrick said in a recent email - there is something to the endorphin rush of regular exercise. In the morning, I felt so blue - if it weren't for the PCP, I would have stayed in bed, in a crappy mood, ate junk and just perpetuated that bad mood. Might have even led to a mini-depression. But because the workout had to get done one way or another - and, because there was GOOD FOOD to be eaten instead of junk - I was able to re-establish an equilibrium much more quickly than before. Whew!

Which brings me to the very best part of yesterday - the part that still has me completely and utterly elated. Last night, my friend Sara called (the same Sara who we shared a house with on Fire Island) to tell me that she is seriously thinking about doing the PCP!!!!!!!!!!!!! And starting in TWO DAYS!! This was a total surprise, in the best possible way. I seriously thought that she had been thinking I was a total nut-job for getting myself involved in this project, when in fact she has been thinking about getting HERSELF into peak condition! I could not be happier for her or more proud - GO SARA!!! HUGE shout-out to you for taking this step!!

OK - changing the subject now to a completely distasteful topic. I've been swilling raw egg mixed with milk every day for a week or so now. I've also experienced an unfortunate uptick in HORRIFYING gas. I almost can't stand to be around myself, not to mention those poor folks in my physical vacinity. It's the raw eggs, right?? Also, I've had the runs (sorry!) for the past few days - strange, after being so completely regular for months now. Maybe I need to start cooking the eggs again? My tummy isn't upset, there's just way to much nasty output. Help??

More to come re: a VERY EXCITING and HUGE new purchase, to be revealed in a future post. :)

Have a great day, PCP kids!

Day 71: In Which I Psychoanalyze Myself

This morning, I looked at the exercise sheet and laughed. "Davincis - 5 sets x failure". HA! Thanks, Patrick, for getting right to the point. No more pussy-footing around this whole "failure" scenario! Message received - just DO it already.

This, plus Patrick's most recent blog post, is making me think. I'm starting to understand the whole "art of laziness" thing. Why not work super hard in order to get to failure SOONER? Why take extra rest time just so you can do extra reps/sets? What a waste of time!

This way of approaching the workouts sounds really good in theory - in practice, I'm just beginning to get it. It's so opposite of my usual response, which has two components:

First, like many people, I tend to have a true panic response when faced with physical pain/challenge/difficulty. When stuff starts to hurt, my mind goes "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" and I panic and bail out. Granted, I've worked with this panic response quite a bit in my yoga practice. The Kripalu tradition has this thing called "Stage 2" where a strong pose like Setu Bhandasana (bridge) or Utkatasana (chair pose) is held for quite a while (a few minutes in some cases) so that the practitioner can literally "ride the wave" of physical, mental, and emotional responses to sensation, noticing what comes up. Undoubtedly, the initial reaction, after the first few breaths, is "AHHHH! STOP!! MAKE IT STOPPPP!!!" Or at least it used to be, for me. Now, I can watch that reaction, see that it's just what my mind likes to say, come back to my breath and focus on the sensation itself, breathe into it and watch it change. Also, trust that I won't die. This type of thing has come in handy with the planks - sustaining a pose feels familiar now, doesn't make me fear death.

The repetitive exercises, on the other hand, all the reps and sets - THIS is something new that I've had to train myself to tolerate. There's so much more to think about in terms of form, effort, props. So when the repetitive motion starts to feel impossible, I wonder if I have the form right, if I'm DOING it wrong/right, if I "should" be stronger by now. Which brings me to the second component of my usual response...

I have a complicated relationship with authority (and who doesn't, right?). Growing up, I was surrounded by authority figures, both at home and at school. Not surprisingly, I developed into quite the rebel. I still have a strong independent streak, as those who live with me or who are close to me will tell you. But I also have an ingrained tendency to rely on outside authority in certain areas where I might be better served by trusting myself. What do the "experts" think I should be doing?? How would YOU do this?? That kind of thing.

How does all of this relate to the PCP? Well, if it's not already obvious, I've been very happy to place my general health in the hands of Patrick and Chen - the experts - over this 90 day period. I love the grams - there's just enough flexibility in what to eat, but no guessing required in how much to eat. And, as much as I find the workouts both exhilarating and torturous, it's the reps/sets that are my real training ground right now. Being told what exercises to do and how many, each day, has been a total blessing - there's no way I would have worked this hard without someone TELLING ME what to do.

But then, suddenly, today presented a new challenge. The experts were no longer telling me how many Davinicis they expected of me. I couldn't even choose the max or the min! Instead, I had to pay attention to my own body, watch my reactions, and make some choices. At what point do I declare "failure"? When the mind wants to quit for self-preservation purposes? Or is it possible that the body can do more than the mind says it should? I know the answer to that last one is YES. So - if I drop the counting, forget how many reps I did the last time we did Davinicis, or in the last set - then what??

What happened today was that I kept the rest times short - down to the second - and started each set with gusto, stopping only when I realized my form was being compromised, and - in the 5th set, I went until I could go no further. No idea how many reps - probably a lot less than previous times. Less because I wasn't slowing things down unconsciously in order to make sure I got to all the reps listed on the sheet. HA! I can't believe I was doing that, but I really was! I must have been wasting time, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be physically able to perform the perfect sets that the experts were expecting. No WONDER I haven't been able to get my workout down to an hour!

So, hey - it's a learning process, eh? It feels good to be at this stage of the game, learning to let my body show me how far it can go, learning to take back some power from the experts. I'm curious to see what happens to my workouts this week, if I can truly begin to embrace failure instead of merely flirting with it.

Day 69: The Devil's in the Details

Well, I feel like an idiot! Just found out that, all this time, I've been doing some of the exercises wrong. Rowing never made sense to me - I just couldn't really feel it in my back. So I finally asked Patrick about it, and yup, I've been anchoring the band a bit too high. High enough that I was pulling down and back, instead of back and up. So tonight I set the band lower and pulled back and up - what a difference!! Also, the lawnmower - I think my form has been off and I've been pulling back too much with my core, not isolating in the shoulderblade area. Hmphh! No wonder my back is less developed than the rest of me.

Speaking of details, I learned something cool about planks the other day. Decided to venture over to the power yoga studio and check out the scene. I went with a friend and took a class with a wonderful teacher named Freddie who had a ton of great alignment details to share. It was actually more like a strengthening workout than a traditional yoga class - something that would have bothered me months ago, but as a PCP'er, it was cool to see how strong I've become...and to learn some new tricks. So let's see if I can describe this accurately.

Come into plank on your forearms. First of all, make sure that your butt is in line with the rest of your body. If you find that you're holding your butt too high, lower it, making one long line from your heels to the crown of your head. Next, press strongly into your elbows as you spread the shoulderblades away from one another, rounding slightly in your upper back. Feel how this causes the obliques to engage. Now, pull the abdominals in strongly as you round the lower back as much as you can without losing the long line of your body. Last, begin to pull your elbows and your toes toward one another. Notice how you feel!

This experience was noticeably different for me than what I had been doing up until then, which was kinda "hanging out" in plank. I put my body in the form of the pose and used my breath to focus and sustain me until the allotted time was up. But THIS plank, where I was purposefully engaging every muscle in my body - WOWSA! It was much more challenging, for sure, but it also gave me the feeling of being made of steel - totally solid, hard as a rock. Also, vibrating with energy! Even in the yoga class, we held this for a nice long time. Probably not 90 seconds or anything, but even so - I was like, holy cow, Freddie - have you studied with Patrick??

The next day, we had 5x90 second planks on our list, so I did this hard-body plank. And failed out on the last two!! Success! I mean, failure! COOL.

Day 68: The Freak Show Continues...

I guess I'm at a point with the physical development where I'm discovering lots of new, freakish things about my body. It's becoming quite funny, actually. Check it out:
What the heck is that thumbprint-sized indentation between my boobs? Well, I guess that's my sternum - hello, BONES. I noticed this yesterday, which led to another freakish discovery. I can now visibly flex my pecs in the mirror. But - since my boobs have almost completely disappeared, my buffed-out pectorals bulge out of my chest more prominently than my poor, sagging bresticles. This is a sideshow-quality display for sure, but...you'll have to take my word for it. :) All I can say is, thank god for SHIRTS!

Also, here's a close up how those abs are doing:
I'm starting to see some of the upper abdominus rectus peek through, as well as the obliques and lats. And then there's the remains of my wrinkly belly fat. Sigh! It acually looks flatter in this photo than it normally appears. Hmm, maybe I should give it a name...let's see, how about Melvin? Louise - I think Melvin and Nigel are related. 2nd cousins once removed?? HA - by the end of this project I'd like to see both Melvin and Nigel COMPLETELY removed!!

Funny story - remember my friends, Rachel and Bernie, who we camped with in Colorado in July? They came to NYC this weekend so we got to hang out. They both commented on how different I look since we saw each other a month ago - which, since they are such close friends, prompted me to show them all my new sideshow tricks. (Well, except the boob/pec thing - I do have SOME modesty!) I flashed them my abs and then made some comment about Melvin still hanging around. Bernie, who is a brilliant family doctor, said, "Dude, I'm sorry to tell you, but the only way to get rid of that completely is to have surgery."

WELL, Dr. Birnbaum! I take your comment as a personal challenge. Even if it takes me more that 90 days - even if it takes me double that - I WILL eradicate Melvin! And I will do it without surgery. You've laid down the gauntlet, so I now have no choice but to use every tool in my arsenal. 8 Minute Abs every day for the last 22 days of this sucker - BRING IT! There - now I've said it. Now I have to do it!

In other badass news, I ate a raw egg this morning! Just whipped it and tossed it in a big glass of milk, sprinkled in a little cinnamon, and down the hatch. I felt just like Rocky Balboa. YUM.

Tomorrow, first day of school for the kiddos! Milo is starting kindergarten, Stella's psyched for 2nd grade. Can't believe summer's over!!!

Day 65: Things are Dropping, For Better and Worse

Right before I started PCP, I bought a fancy new scale that tells me not only my weight, but also body fat %. I've been checking the scale randomly for my weight since we started. Haven't had a huge drop in lbs, no biggie. But yesterday I decided to check the body fat % for the first time. The stats:

Day 1, weight 117 lbs, body fat 24.3%
Day 64, weight 110 lbs, body fat 18.8%

So that's a 5.5% drop. Pretty respectable, eh? I'm happy to see the change in numbers that I've been feeling in my body. New muscles, less fat, yay!

However, and this may be TMI, I've also been experiencing a concurrent drop in sex drive. Pretty much since the beginning of this project. This is not necessarily a new issue for me - I've struggled on and off with keeping the spark alive over the years. It's probably a combination of hormones and mental/emotional blocks that seem to pop up from time to time. I do think my lack of sex drive is being exacerbated by the PCP. When I commit to a project, I become completely focused/obsessed with it. I'm sorta all-PCP-all-the-time, to a fault. Dan, when he reads this, will definitely be nodding his head.

Not to mention all the changes I'm experiencing on a physical level. On the one hand, I'm very proud of all the progress I've made in my body. I like what I see, but even more, I love how I feel - super strong and healthier than I've probably ever been. But - here's the weird part: this new, improved body is kinda freaking me out. I'm SO not used to having these muscles. Seriously. This morning I was working out on the deck, doing bicep curls, and I decided to face the windows instead of the backyard. I watched these crazy biceps in the reflection of the window and they just didn't feel like mine. My mind went into a daydream about showing up for a yoga class at the "power yoga" studio where I rarely go (power yoga is usually not my thing) and what kind of assumptions might be made of me merely for how defined my body is becoming. Am I really ready to step out into the world as a super-fit, muscle-lady who "works out"?

I don't know - I'm just not owning it all yet. I think these conflicted feelings about my body and my appearance are affecting my ability to relax and just be myself, even with my poor husband. The flip side is that I know from past experience that once I can be honest with myself and with Dan about how I'm truly feeling, things will shift. The other day, he asked me, "Have other people on the PCP lost their sex drive?" For both of our sakes, I hope we can turn things around (though blogging it out is probably not the solution Dan had in mind... ;)

Day 63: Let's Talk About FOOD

It's been a while since I blogged about what I'm eating. I've made a couple of new discoveries in the PCP food world that have been making me VERY happy, so I thought I'd share!

First, kale chips. YUM.
Now, that might look like just a bowl of fresh kale, but in fact it's a bowl of crispy roasted kale chips - a FABULOUS replacement for any other kind of chip, if that's what you're craving. Or, you might look as this as the absolute EASIEST way to eat a big bunch of kale (possibly in one sitting!).

Here's how to make them:

1 big bunch of green or red kale - the curly kind works better than the lacinato kind
1 Tbsp (or less) olive oil
1 Tbsp (or slightly more) vinegar

Heat oven to 350. Wash kale, and while you're doing so, tear the leaves from the stems (discard stems) and tear leaves into chip-sized pieces. Dry thoroughly (salad spinner works best). Place dry kale leaves in a big bowl and add oil and vinegar. Mix it up with your hands so that all the leaves are coated in the oil/vinegar. Place in single layer on baking sheet and bake for 10ish minutes. Check on them at 8 min or so - maybe stir/flip them. Depending on how crispy you want them, keep them in a little longer. They're done when they are crispy and dark green. Take them out and eat them right off the pan! Or, keep them in an airtight container.

Bonus - when kale is roasted like this, it becomes almost weightless - so you could hypothetically eat a TON of kale chips as part of your veggie alotment. Because of the oil, I've been trying to eat them sparingly or as a PCP-ified snack. I supposed you could try to roast them without any oil - let me know how that comes out!

Next, baked tilapia. Sadly, I have no pictures of this. But I've experimented with different ways to bake this fish, and I think by now I've perfected it - at least for my tastebuds!

1 - 2 tilapia fillets
2 - 4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 lemon
cracked pepper
tiny amt. olive oil

Heat oven to 350. Brush bottom of baking dish with oil. Place fillets in dish. Rub crushed, juicy garlic onto the fillets - the more the better. Squeeze lemon over the whole thing, and sprinkle liberally with cracked pepper. Bake for 20ish minutes, until the edges of the fish start to brown and the flesh flakes in big chunks. (I realized that I had been undercooking my fish so that it came out a little too soggy - so now I err on the side of a few more minutes in the oven. It won't dry out because of all the lemon juice.) Enjoy right out of the oven - also makes good leftovers.

Hey, here's a bonafide PCP dessert: banana smoothie-cream. I think someone else (maybe Elena?) blogged about this a while ago, but MAN does it deserve a re-post! I discovered this the night we got back from Fire Island - cupboards & fridge totally bare, but hiding in the back of the freezer? Frozen bananas!

Overripe frozen bananas (PERFECT way to use up those brown ones)
Plain yogurt
Splash of milk

If you've got a fruit/yogurt snack on your diet sheet, measure out the appropriate grams of bananas & yogurt and throw 'em in the blender. Blend until smooth. Experiment with texture/thickness - if needed, toss in a splash of milk to make it a little thinner/creamier. Pour into a tall glass and FREAK OUT over how the gods are smiling on you with this delicious treat. I might even go so far as to say that this is BETTER THAN ICE CREAM.

Last but not least, a new way to prepare eggs - poached in the microwave! My friend Sara and I experimented with this on vacation. If you like poached eggs but hate the mess/time it takes to prepare them, this is definitely a quick and easy method.

Crack an egg into a mug. Add 1/3 cup water and a splash of vinegar (to help keep the egg together in the water). Place in microwave and cover with a saucer. Cook at 80% power for 1 minute. If the white still looks undercooked, cook again at 80% for intervals of 10 secs. (Requires a little experimenting with your microwave to get it just right. Biggest difference between this and a stovetop method is that microwaves cook from the inside out, so the yolk might be on the firm side.) Drain and enjoy!

As a post-script to this post, I gotta say that the PCP has completely revolutionized the way I cook! I've had a similar experience to Tara - before PCP, I cooked either from recipes (which always seemed to require special ingredients like obscure spices or oils that I didn't have in the pantry - thus, the glut of one-time-used items hanging around in the back of my pantry) or not at all. Looking back, I don't even know WHAT I was eating half the time. Frozen Trader Joe's? Crappy prepared food from our local market? Leftover food from the kids' dinner? Yes, yes and yes.

Now, like Tara, like all of you, I shop for fresh foods without worrying about how I'm going to prepare them. No recipes, no random jars of spices that I'll only use once. I buy TONS of vegetables and marvel at how quickly I go through them - and, at how many ways there are to eat them: roasted, steamed, sauteed, grilled, raw, combined or on their own. I buy fish and chicken knowing that I can prepare them in delicious ways. I have a new appreciation for simple, cooked whole grains like quinoa, brown rice - and eat them with raw veggies on salads as often as I do in warm bowls of cooked veggies.

The best part of the PCP diet for me is that I have finally become more confident in the kitchen merely because I've been forced to experiment. The mysteries of the kitchen are finally being de-mystified simply because I'm IN there all the time! I can't tell you how happy this makes me.

Also - having previously adopted bad eating habits out of pure laziness and bad planning, I now see the beauty and EASE of thinking ahead just a little bit to plan my meals. It's not nearly so hard and so time-consuming as I always assumed it would be! Planning ahead AND knowing that it really doesn't take long to whip up a batch of roasted brussell sprouts, now that I've done it so many times. This knowledge will take me FAR beyond the end of this project, that's for sure.

Happy eating, PCP comrades!

Day 62: Fire Island Retrospective/New Pics

Dudes - this is my third try today at writing a retrospective post about our time in Fire Island. First try was all fun stories and pictures. Second try was an attempt to verbalize how hard it was to be on the PCP in that environment. Just now, I went back and read my last few posts from before and during our trip...and realized that I'd already verbalized this conflict as it was happening. SO - for my third and final try, suffice it to say that, PCP + social-y vacation with husband, friends and kids = HARD. I don't think I handled it as well as I could have, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I still managed to have lots of fun times with everybody.

Now that we're home, I'm overwhelmed with relief, so happy to be back in my own space, in my own kitchen, in charge of my own destiny, as it were. I've had the best couple of days of workouts and cooking - in fact, I think I've had 3 PPCPD's in a row!! Interestingly, the kids are also reveling in being back in their own space. They both spent the entire day yesterday creating elaborate "hide-outs" in their rooms, and today was more of the same - building and expanding their hide-outs, playing games in there, listening to music. Even the dog has been in rest and recovery mode. Home sweet home!

I do want to share some pictures of the gorgeousness that is Fire Island. First, my early morning jumping spot: the Fair Harbor ferry dock.
Check out that swan floating by. Almost every morning, a crew of swans would be out in the bay, all in a line, on their way to work, I guess. The earlier I got out, the better chance I'd have of seeing them - too late, and I was treated instead to the garbage barge dropping off the trash taxis for their daily rounds.

I totally forgot to take pictures from the roof deck where I did most of my exercises. Our friend Doug the photographer took one of me doing lunges up there, but for the life of me, I can't get it to load from his flickr set. Maybe later.

One night, we saw the moon rise over the ocean, an enormous orange orb rising up from the horizon, creating orange moon-shaped reflections on the water. Incredible! The next morning, we ran out to the beach to see the sun rise in the same spot:

A very Fire Island tradition - the wagon sale. Kids load up their wagons with stuff to sell - mostly homemade stuff like baked goods or painted shells (though this year, there was more and more random street-fair type junk being sold) - and haul them out to the dock during "sixish". Sixish is when everyone brings their boozy drinks to the dock to watch the sunset - usually more like 7 or 8 o'clock. Here's Stella with her wagon sale of handmade shell necklaces:

She made $12!

An hour or so later, sunset over the bay

Last but not least, the beach. We had a LOT of awesome days at the beach - one of the big reasons we love Fire Island.

The kids on their boogie boards
Stella and I relaxing in the shade
Milo doing some serious sand excavations
Dan and I soaking up the rays - well, except for Dan who doesn't like the sun ;)
Clyde jumping around in the surf like a madman
Stella and I making muscles on a red flag day
Wave jumping
Fire Island family portrait

New weekly pics are up! You'll recognize a bunch, but there are a slew of other new ones taken "on location". I'm pretty happy with how my upper body is shaping up - I kinda can't believe the muscle definition in my chest and arms, and external obliques. Abs and hips/buttocks still need some work. Good thing I have another 28 days to put my butt to the grindstone!

'Til tomorrow...

Day 61: This One's For You, Team Badass!

Haley, girl, I'm giving you the biggest virtual fist-bump right now! Your post just got to the heart of it for Team Badass. We do need to recommit to the blogging, the photos, and to making it HAPPEN for the next month! We ARE the role models now (!?!). Mostly, though, I'm so psyched that you wrote that post. Path of righteousness, indeed!!!

So here's a fun little image for you. Yesterday, we left Fire Island - a process in and of itself. All packed up, we had a team of 5 adults and 4 kids hauling our bags down to the dock where we caught the ferry back to the mainland. Before the ferry came, my friend Sara decided to do some impromptu dock-jumping. After her first jump, she called over, "Mrs. Rubin, I double-dog dare you to jump in here too!!" I have to point out here that she came to the dock in her swimsuit, while I was freshly showered and wearing real clothes for the first time in two weeks. Well, it took me about 3 seconds to decide, the hell with it, I can't walk away from a double-dog dare!! I stripped off my shirt, dropped my shorts - yes, in front of all those assembled on the dock to catch the ferry - and dove into the salt-water bay in my skivvies. Totally badass. After 2 jumps, I put my clothes on over my dripping wet body and got on the ferry to go home.

This was the perfect way to leave Fire Island - facing a challenge and not taking the easy way out. Sure, it was a super hot day and jumping off the dock is nothing but fun - but still. Would have been easier to stay nice and clean and dry, and not flash my undies to the world. And this is how I feel about the PCP right now: it's time to dig in, get all dirty, and take no prisoners. We all signed up for this challenge, and I think we've all found it to be a good deal more challenging than we expected going in. Despite all doubters, despite all hardships, despite even ourselves at some points, we're still here.

Thank you, Haley, for being our karmic kick-in-the-ass!!! I pledge to keep up my end of the deal and to blog religiously until the bitter end. Go Team Badassssss!