Day 29: Mirror, Mirror on the wall

So...today was the beginning of the "real" PCP, according to Patrick. Don't you all just love hearing that? Like, what have we been doing until now??? Well, in fact, it did start to feel a bit more real this morning when I had my first taste of double quad exercises, double back, double abs. After lunges plus floorjumps, I crumpled onto the ground in a big puddle - first time reaching failure in these here thighs. It felt...serious. And also, pretty great in a badass kind of way. Partly because I have really been feeling my thighs recently - like, really feeling them with my hands because I can't believe how strong they are getting.

This morning, as I was blearily getting dressed for my workout, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was caught off guard by how thin and fit I appeared. It was an unguarded moment - very different from most other times when I approach the mirror purposefully with a critical eye. This was like seeing what others probably see when they look at me - the good, not the bad. A view of love, or at least neutrality, instead of the negative fault-seeking of my own mind. Being able to see clearly not only my physical strengths but also the habits of my mind drove me strongly today during the entire "real PCP" workout. Living in and loving this body is possible - and in a context outside of my yoga practice, where negativity falls more easily to the wayside. So this morning, when I couldn't get through 30 jumps without tripping, I literally lifted my eyes to the mountains and saw myself in the mirror.